Friday, August 17, 2007

Tired of People

A friend asked the other day how I manage having a large network. She too knows a lot of people in the business community and professed that all these contacts leave her tired.

Her comment hung heavy in my mind for a few days. While I relish in keeping up with clients, prospects, friends and others.... I can see how the demands of interacting with others can wear on some people.

I have come to realize that all of us have different points of views on all sorts of topics. Just because I do not get fatigued by those in my network, I can understand how others are wiped out from the efforts of cultivating their relationships. Sometimes people are just draining to be around.

Feeling tired of the people in your network is not a bad thing, however one should not use this as an excuse to avoid networking and meeting new people. This feeling of being overwhelmed by those you already know can quickly become a crutch for no longer welcoming new souls into your life. What you need to do is to embrace the good that comes from the people you already know, and not allow them to leach your energy.

Sometimes I find my calendar overflowing with coffee, lunch and other meeting with those I know "just to touch base". I try very hard to always accept these invitations - even when I do not see the immediate benefit. I have learned from experience never to pre-judge how people in my network might benefit my career. Those whom I expect to go out of their way to assist me will often never take action, and those whose helpfulness I question are quite often the ones who lead me to amazing opportunities. Therefore, I recommend that you push through those times when your contacts makes you tired. You have nothing to gain from napping on your network.

It is also okay to purge some annoying folks from your life. Come on, you know what I mean...those who you run from when they walk in the room or the person who regularly acts like they are a "giving" networker, but are actually a selfish and insecure poser. We all know them, so the time has come to "just say no" and remove them from your list of friends. You need not like everyone (sorry, you still have to be polite). Cut those that sap your energy right out of your life! While difficult, this action will leave you more energized about the people in your network whom you have decided to retain.

Have A Great Day.



Anonymous said...

Interesting post. I hadn't considered the implications of managing a huge network, but I like the insights. It's sort of telling of the steps you need to take while you're in the process of building your network from the ground up as well, because that can be very time-consuming, too.

thomsinger said...


thanks for your comment! Yes, if you properly select with whom you cultivate relationships you will prevent future headaches!