Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #135) - Make it Rain with Events, by Scott Ingram

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

My friend Scott Ingram has launched a podcast for people in the Meetings and Events Industry.  

The program launched as a free audio version of his book "Make Rain with Events", where he read each of the chapters (I am one of the contributing authors in the book), and now he has begun interviewing people who are experts at creating amazing "conference attendee experiences".

I know first hand that launching a podcast is hard work, and keeping it going is even more difficult.  Scott has begun a great journey in providing this podcast to Event Professionals.  Those who work in the world of conferences are some of the hardest working people I know, and having a podcast available that is full of usable content is going to be awesome.

You can find the "Make it Rain with Events" podcast on iTunes.

Check it out.  It is great.  I am happy to have him as week #135 of "Cool Things My Friends Do".

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Kid Going Off To College

This week we will drop our oldest daughter off at college.  I still remember bringing this little baby home from the hospital over 18 years ago.  We sat in the living room, staring at this 35-hour-old human being thinking "They made a mistake, they let us take a baby home all by ourselves".  

Being "Dad" to my two daughters has been a great journey.  They have taught me a lot about the world, and about myself.  They showed me that I must have heard my parents ongoing words of wisdom as I was growing up, because my own father's advice seems to come out of my mouth daily.

I am sad to see her leave home, but so proud of the ambitious young woman who is currently packing her suitcases.  She has a good head on her shoulders and a long list of life and career goals.  Some she will achieve, others she may not, but her own journey is going to be amazing.  I wish I had been as driven to succeed when I was her age.

Saying good-bye will be difficult, but she is ready to go to college and to launch her own life. Heck, she has been ready since the 4th grade.  

This week reminds me of my own departure from my parents home 31 years ago.  While I was not as much of an academic achiever as my kid, I did begin my life with gusto and built lasting friendships that have lasted to this day.  The first person I met in the dorm has become like a brother to me (He is my oldest kid's Godfather, and my business partner) and he and others from college shaped my life and inspired me to strive to my own levels of success.  My biggest hope for my daughter is that she will meet people of amazing character this week who will become the "forever friends" that will be with her long into the future.   Study hard kiddo, but never forget the power of relationships.

As we fly across the country to deposit her on campus and then leave her behind, I am sure I will be thinking "They made a mistake, they are letting us leave her by herself".  But this is no mistake.  This is the next phase of life for all of us.  

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Celebrate The People Who Matter

For two years the header at the top of this blog has included a quote from Maya Angelou: "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option".

This is a two way street.  You should never expect people to give a damn about you if you are not showing them the respect they deserve.  To create relationships all parties must be engaged.  However, in our competitive and self-focused world there is often too little attention given to how we treat others.  Many are looking only at how they are treated.

When is the last time you told someone that they were awesome? If you cannot remember giving praise to co-workers, friends, family or others you encounter daily, today is the day to take action.  Giving compliments and letting people know they have a positive impact causes no harm and only brings good to everyone involved.

In my keynote speeches I talk about the power of  "Cooperative Significance".  Most people want to make a difference, but we cannot just proclaim our significance to everyone around us.  Others determine if we are making a difference in their lives.  There can be a chain reaction started by the good vibes you spread.  Remember the movie "Pay it Forward"?  

There are also two words that can heal bad feelings between friends: "I'm Sorry".  If  you have damaged a meaningful relationship through words or actions, most of the time this can be fixed by taking ownership of what you have done (or failed to do).  Do not let pride stop you doing the right thing.

I have written a lot about cherishing "Forever Friends", as too often temporary relationships dominate our lives.  While cool and interesting people will always pass through, the ones who should matter are the friends and family who are connected to the whole journey.  Those who share with you an ongoing commitment, in good times and bad, are the ones that need to be put front and center. 

Choose to be slow to anger and fast to forgive.  Let your love show. Make a decision to be nice.  Don't be a jerk.  You get the idea!

Who has made you a priority.  Celebrate them. 

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Don't Be Average - Be The Best You Can Be

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #16)

If you want to make a change, be committed to being the best you can. Do not settle for being average.

Recently I interviewed fitness expert Greg Barth on "The Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do Podcast".  At age 40 Greg transformed his fitness and life.  In the conversation he said he got tired of being average, and made the decision to be the best he could be when it came to his health.  He lost 25 pounds and became a fitness trainer, inspiring others to get healthy.

This dedication translated to all areas of his life.  Greg now is achieving more in his personal and professional life.  He is building a business, being a great dad, and reaching the highest levels of personal performance.

His words about not settling for average behavior have lingered in my mind.  I have many areas where I have allowed myself to be comfortable with my actions, as they are good enough.  But am I pushing myself to live at my highest levels?  No.

If you are seeking ways to re-invent and re-launch, doing so with 100% commitment to being the best YOU that you can be is paramount to success.  You cannot let average satisfy your soul.  Fitness, diet, relationships, business, recreation, etc... can be average or extraordinary.  The difference rests in our mindset.

Reading this you might be thinking these are great ideas, but how do I put them into action?  This will be easy from some people and more difficult for others.  The key to unlocking your commitment to excellence is in observations, review and actions.  If you are not paying attention to and considering your efforts, then you cannot improve.  It is hard to question yourself constantly, as sometimes you will not like the answers.  But measuring and assessing your progress is the path to self-improvement.

Realizing that it wont happen all at once, and that I will fail at points along the journey (and that is okay) has helped me move forward on my own growth.  But this new dedication to not allow average to be enough is motivating me to keep going.

Good Luck.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Re-invention is a Lonely Journey

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #15)

When you want to make changes in your life and re-invent yourself there is a lot of time spent examining the mistakes you have made along the way.  If you are honest, these blunders can be painful to think about.  However, at the same time there is a freeing feeling in the work of self-improvement. 

Most of us do not spend much time thinking about our flaws, but we all have areas where we come up short.  The hardest part of embracing change and seeking ways to start fresh in your behaviors, habits, thoughts and actions is that once you peel back the curtain, there may be more areas where you have fallen short than you are prepared to embrace.

Early in my efforts to re-invent myself I was excited.  There was a sense of pride in the mistakes I have made as they were a sign of being human.  We all fail and I was cocky about my willingness to look at my faults.  But the more accustomed I got to admitting my weaknesses, the more prevalent they became.

It bummed me out.  Life has been fairly good and I had always self-identified as someone who had his shit together and made good choices.  Sure, I knew I wasn’t perfect, but I had viewed myself as a fairly decent fellow.  While my faults are not huge character blunders or morally offensive, the things I can improve became numerous.  This was both scary and sad. It made me question many things, including the wisdom of tackling a re-invention.

Several times I have said that re-invention and re-launching is not for the faint of heart. This is proving to be more true than I had imagined.  One has to be prepared for the emotional heartache that can come with working on improving how you live your life.  The reality of your faults can be hard to carry, and the reactions or indifference of the people around you can be hurtful.  You want to celebrate the small wins, but others do not care.  Society expects huge change or your entire efforts are suspect.

My biggest lesson from trying to implement change in my life is that re-invention is lonely.  Many of the highs and lows of working to discover how to be a better person are witnessed in solitude.  You want others to be with you, but they are not always present, even when nearby. 

Some people get nervous about your efforts because it makes them see their own life being stuck in limbo, and they are not ready to face their own issues.  There are people who find their own self-importance in your flaws, and you erasing those can cause them to lose their own identity.  Others are too busy doing their own thing to notice what is happening in your life.  

Finding people who will support in your journey is not easy.  I recommend it, but they are not easy to identify.  If you want to make changes, be ready to face much of the burden alone.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #134) - Leave Room For Edits (Awesome Advice from Jessica Pettitt)

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

This video is my friend Jessica Pettitt delivering a short talk  at Influence 2015.  This is worth watching, and one you may want to share.  

We all judge people, and she says that is okay.  But Jess advises that when you write a story about someone.... "Leave Room For Edits".  

Awesome.



This is week #134 for "Cool Things My Friends Do".  What do your friends do?

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Here They Go Distorting The Word "NETWORKING" - Again!!!

There is a recent article in Fast Company called "How to Stop Networking and Build Real Relationships" that is all fluff and mirrors.  The author describes "networking" as using people and self-promotion.  This is just wrong.

The definition of networking is "the creations of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships where all people involved in the relationships find more success".  This is not using, in fact it is what he is claiming people should be doing to find business success.

Had this author not abused to word "networking" to fit his needs, his article should have been titled "Stop doing selfish crap and start networking".  Boom.  That would be a good article.

Many people who want attention in the world of teaching business relationship skills like to make networking an evil term.  They either do not understand what it is all about, or worse, they do understand but are manipulating their readers with false truths. 

Creating long-term and mutually beneficial relationships is what they claim to teach.  Instead of writing misleading articles, why not write about how people can stop doing things that undermine their reputation and start serving their communities.  Pinning the problem on a word is silly, as the offenders never see themselves as guilty of doing things wrong.

I wonder why I blogged about this today?  This has been coming up for years, and I watch a parade of self-proclaimed gurus state "I don't network, I connect".  Yeah, yeah --- word manipulation gets attention and gets clicks.  I know.

Here is my advice.  Call it whatever you want, but get over yourself and start helping others find success and you will discover that you have an awesome network (or whatever word you want to insert) that leads you toward success.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Toronto Segway Tour Was Awesome

The family vacation to Canada was a huge success.  Quebec City, Montreal, Niagra Falls, and Toronto over 10 days was fast paced and we covered a lot of ground.  We recommend a Canadian adventure to everyone: Amazing cities, nice people, great food, and lots of things to see and do.

A highlight of the trip was Segway Ontario (Oh yes, we are "those" tourists who did the Segway Tour!!!). Most of the family had been on Segways in the past, but our youngest daughter had never had the opportunity.  You have to be at least 13 to ride Segways in most cities that have such tours, and before this year Kate was too young.  When we heard about the tour of the historic Distillery District near Downtown Toronto, we singed up.

(***Tip:  Sign up in advance online.  We did three days in advance and found most of the time slots during our visit to already be filled).

The tour guides, Eric Bell (listed on his business card as "professional guide and longboarder") and Jill Sullivan (Listed on her business card as "book enthusiast") were both knowledgeable and fun.  They spent just over an hour teaching us to ride the silly machines, and then educating us on the Distillery District.  Turns out this area and the 150+ year old buildings have a colorful history.  We heard things we never would have known had we just roamed around this destination shopping and restaurant area.  Heck, we even stopped for samples of locally made chocolate and local craft beers (who doesn't love beer and chocolate?).

We did one-hour tour and my only complaint was it was too short, so I am not sure if the 30 minute tour would as good of an option. Go for the longer version and enjoy the ride. 

If you are going to Toronto, you gotta check out Segway Ontario as you will learn more about the history of the city (yes history of booze, death, cholera breakouts, child labor, etc...) and have a lot of fun. While expensive for a family of four, everyone agreed it was one of the best parts of our time in Toronto (which was all great). 

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Self-Improvement Is Not Easy, But Can Set You Free

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #14)

Reinventing is not for the faint of heart.  Once you are focused on the areas to improve, and you become aware of owning your mistakes, more flaws seem to appear.  Sometimes I think it would be easier to just live in denial and not work on creating a better self.

People are subtle. They do not bluntly show their disapproval of others. However, if you are paying attention, you will hear from others who you fail.  When you are open to self-awareness you are going to discover that you say and do things that do not always bring pleasure to co-workers, clients, family members, friends, etc...  It can be surprising how often we are selfish, say the wrong thing, are not tuned into the feelings of others, and react negatively to all sorts of issues.

It can be painful to become conscious of how you are not living up to your full potential and your personal views of your own being.  But it can also be great to find your short-comings.  It is important to realize that these negative areas (or failures) are not unique to you.  Everyone has faults and it is common for people to have areas that need to be fixed in their life.  If we think others are perfect (or at least close to perfect), then our own issues become a painful burden.  

This is why I spent much of my life ignoring my mistakes.  It was too hard to admit I missed the mark at in my professional and personal life.  Yet these days I find it fun to find a new way to improve.  If I am honest with myself, it is just part of the journey to fail, but the key for my re-launching of myself is that I have to learn from the past errors and not repeat them (or at least not repeat them too often).

This takes time.  Declaring a new direction does not make it happen.  Recreating patterns takes a massive commitment and repeated actions. Self Improvement is never easy, but it is both fun and freeing.  Understanding that you are a work in progress makes the weight of mistakes much lighter, and knowing you are not repeating the bad things can create a sense of anticipation for the future.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #133) - 51 Professional Speakers Earn The CSP

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

The National Speakers Association 

Certifies 51 Speaking Professionals

The National Speakers Association (NSA), the leading organization for the professional speaking industry, is proud to announce 51 professional speakers have earned the Certified Speaking Professional® (CSP) designation in 2015.  

And the cool part.... Many of these people are my personal friends!!!

Established in 1980, the CSP is the speaking profession’s international measure of speaking experience and skill. Little more than 12 percent of the speakers worldwide hold this professional designation.  I earned this designation in 2014 and am very proud of this achievement.... which makes it more fun to welcome other committed speakers into the club.

The CSP designation is conferred by NSA on accomplished professional speakers who have earned it by meeting strict criteria. CSPs must document a proven track record of continuing speaking experience and expertise, as well as a commitment to ongoing education, outstanding client service, and ethical behavior. The 2015 class of CSPs was honored during a ceremony on July 18 at the annual NSA Convention in Washington, D.C.

"The Certified Speaking Professional® (CSP) is the highest designation that can be earned by a member of the National Speakers Association or another association of the Global Speakers Federation,” says 2014-2015 NSA President Shep Hyken, CSP, CPAE. “CSP is earned as a result of experience, education and competency in the speaking industry, which also includes input from clients and a CSP Review Panel process.  When clients hire a professional speaker who has earned the CSP designation, they can be assured the speaker brings to the table a high level of experience and professionalism.”

Yep, it is a big deal, and it is so cool to honor all the recipients and some of my dear friends on week #133 of "Cool Things My Friends Do".

Introducing the 2015 Class of Certified Speaking Professionals

(my friends are highlighted... but congratulations to all):

Ulrike Aichhorn, CSP, Salzburg, Austria
Diane Amundson, CSP, Winona, Minn.
Paul Burton, CSP, Hood River, Ore.
Christian Chua, CSP, Singapore
Todd Cohen, CSP, Philadelphia, Penn.
Sharon Connolly, CSP, Sydney, Australia
Rick Davis, CSP, Chicago, Ill.
Shirley Davis, CSP, Washington, District of Columbia
Mike Dilbeck, CSP, Fort Worth, Texas
Diane DiResta, CSP, New York, N.Y.
David Dow, CSP, Memphis, Tenn.
Helen Dyrkacz, CSP, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Marcus Engel, CSP, Orlando, Fla.
Candace Fitzpatrick, CSP, Plano, Texas
Jennifer FitzPatrick, CSP, Kent Island, Md.
Anne Guignon, CSP, Houston, Texas
Steven Iwersen, CSP, Lenexa, Kan.
Randy Keirn, CSP, St. Petersburg, Fla.
Shawn Kershaw, CSP, Chalfont, Penn.
Susan Leahy, CSP, Los Angeles, Calif.
Jennifer Ledet, CSP, Thibodaux, La.
James Lindell, CSP, Dousman, Wis.
Steve Lowell, CSP, Ottawa, Canada
Charles “Chip” Lutz, CSP, Sturtevant, Wis.
Wayne Messmer, CSP, Chicago, Ill.
Joseph Michelli, CSP, St. Petersburg, Fla.
Mike Moran, CSP, Ridgewood, N.J.
Paula Morand, CSP, London, Ontario, Canada
Cory Mosley, CSP, Henrico, Va.
Larry Ohlhauser, CSP, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Meredith Oliver, CSP, Raleigh, N.C.
Lethia Owens, CSP, O’Fallon, Mo.
Elaine Pasqua, CSP, Doylestown, Penn.
Eileen Pease, CSP, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Gil Penalosa, CSP, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Kathy Peterson, CSP, Storm Lake, Iowa
Bart Queen, CSP, Oxford, N.C.
Rochelle Rice, CSP, New York, N.Y.
Gary Rifkin, CSP, Dallas, Texas
Rhonda Savage, CSP, Gig Harbor, Wash.
Lauren Schieffer, CSP, Olathe, Kan.
Michael Schmidtmann, CSP, Warrenton, Va.
Robert Siciliano, CSP, Revere, Mass.
Sami Jo Small, CSP, Winnipeg, Canada
Marty Stanley, CSP, Kansas City, Mo.
Barbara Teicher, CSP, Lenexa, Kan.
Jess Todtfeld, CSP, Massapequa, N.Y.
Ricardo Vargas, CSP, Lisbon, Portugal, Spain
Sharon M. Weinstein, CSP, Chicago, Ill.
Lewin Williams, Sr., CSP, Las Vegas, Nev.
Dirk Zeller, CSP, Bend, Ore.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Diligence Is Key To Re-invention

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #13)

When seeking to re-invent yourself you have to be diligent in your transformational work. Life gets busy and we can easily fall into our old patterns.  Simply declaring change does not make it real.  You have to take consistent actions.

I am working on this in my own life.  I am trying to get past my previous short comings and learn from my mistakes, but it is hard to get away from the scripts that we have lived by in the past, and the expectations that others have for us.  When my schedule become crazy-busy I can see myself not living up to the plans for self-improvement.

Change can be lonely.  Those around us are either indifferent, unaware, or secretly skeptical of our efforts.  This is where personal spirituality can be important.  Regardless of if you are religious, many identify as "spiritual", and this can be key.  Your higher-power or connection to nature can be very helpful in these times of doubt and struggle in your re-invention.

Meditation, prayer, or quiet time in a peaceful place on a regular basis will help you get in touch with your own motivation for the new directions you seek.  Remind yourself of the reason you want to re-launch and assess your progress often. 

Journaling is an activity that seems to be cathartic.  I am not one to do this regularly, but this blog and my podcast fill this role.  Getting your thoughts and goals on paper or recorded can help you view them as tangible.

Schedule time to review your progress.  If you slip back into your former self and are not calendared to take stock of your changes then too much time can pass before you realize you are off your path.  A weekly appointment with your self is a great way to take stock of how you are doing.  More often might be better.

Being diligent is something I struggle with in my own journey.  I am often taking two steps forward and one step back.  The good news is that still means I am making progress.  

As I approach my 50th birthday I am feeling the need for proof that my life is improving and that I am living a more impactful existence. I know how isolating this can be, which is why I invite other pilgrims on a similar journey to reach out to me and share your own story.  If you email me, I will write you back (thom at thomsinger.com).  I am confident that when we know others share our desires, it makes it easier to go for it.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #132) - Gary Rifkin wins the Cavett Award

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

The sealed envelope was opened and a name was read. The moment of anticipation and silence was broken with a huge cheer from the crowd of 1700 members of the National Speakers Association. Everyone in the Marriott ballroom jumped to their feet in applause and fits pumps. 

Gary Rifkin had been  named the recipient of the 2015 Cavett Award, and nobody could think of a more deserving person to have this moment.

The Cavett Award is the highest honor the National Speakers Association bestows on its members. It is presented annually to a professional speaker whose accomplishments over the years have reflected outstanding credit, respect, honor and admiration on NSA and the speaking profession.

Gary Rifkin has been involved in the training and speaking business since 1987, when he began as a popular speaker at major colleges and universities. He has since catapulted into some of the most recognized and respected organizations in the world.  Gary is one of those people who showers love on the people around him.  He works hard behind the scenes to make others look awesome, and in my time as a member of NSA he has become one of those people who you always want to see at convention, because he makes you feel better just by being in the room.

Congratulations to Gary for receiving this honor, and I am thrilled to feature him on week #132 of Cool Things My Friends Do.  

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Be A Resource and Help Others Succeed

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #12)

In an effort to re-start your journey, it is a good idea to be a resource and to help others who are trying to find their own success.  Being self-focused with your time might seem like the best way to achieve the fast path to your new career or life, but often the opposite is true.  Those who put their own needs in front of everything and everyone else tend to be the most frustrated.

Zig Ziglar said "you can have everything you want in life if you just help others get what they want".  And he was right.  Those who are givers tend to get more than they ever imagined.  Over time the more I actively worked to promote others, the more people came out of the wood work and did things to help me grow my business.  Sometimes it was the people I helped, but more often it was someone else.  The real givers are tired of takers, so they are always watching and observing who they can assist that is a proven giver.

Our social media crazy world has led to a society of narcissistic behaviors, and it often appears that those getting all the attention, opportunities, money, and success are the most avid promoters of personal interests.  While this might seem true, we do not always get to see the whole picture.  Those who are really finding the highest levels of success; professionally, personally, and spiritually are the people not just in it for their own victories.  While some people are selfish jerks, my experience is the real winners are often the first to help others, often before they reach the top of their own mountains.

It can be hard to get past the obsession with self when you are working to grow a career and build a life.  But serving others takes a lot less time than you think.  Sometimes it is as simple as a few kind words that make another person feel they are significant in their work.  In less than six seconds you can make another person's whole day brighter by complimenting their work and telling others about their efforts.  

If your social media stream is only information about you, your business, and promoting things that are personal for your success, then you can rest assured that this is how you are most likely living your life.  Take the time to re-tweet others, promote their cause, and you will find yourself receiving more help in your own journey.

Be a resource to others, and you will find you are not alone in your own path.  People want to do business with people they know, like and trust.  The fastest way to being known is to help them with what is most important to them. Like and trust will come along, but getting noticed is best done by serving others. 

Additionally, when you are having a rough day in your own business, it feels good to help another person succeed in theirs.  It takes so little to share your spotlight with others by promoting them.  And the by-product is they might just promote you in return (and we all want that).

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Being a Hybrid Event Host

The National Speakers Association Annual Convention, "Influence 2015", is July 18-22, 2015 in Washington DC.  This year the event will be a Hybrid Meeting, meaning those who cannot make the trip to our nation's capital can view the whole conference remotely through an online simulcast.

I have the honor of being one of the co-hosts / master of ceremonies for the online version of the conference, along with the amazing Eliz Greene.  Last year Eliz hosted the broadcast of the convention, and did an awesome job in sharing information with the remote audience, interviewing the speakers and other VIPs, and keeping the online experience engaging.  I am excited to join her this year as a Hybrid Event Emcee and to work with the team at Digitell, who is producing the simulcast.

(Check out this article on the Digitell website about Eliz).

Move over Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie - there is a new anchor team in town that will rock the NSA Convention.

If you are a speaker, or someone interested in the speaking business, and will not be in Washington DC for the event, I encourage you to sign up for the LiveStream (only $199 for more than 20 hours of content, including many of the main stage keynotes, selected breakouts, and compelling interviews -- worth every penny, as there will be awesome learning opportunities).

The excitement level for me is high. As a speaker, professional master of ceremonies and podcast host I get to combine all my talents into this role of being the Hybrid Event EmCee.  

This is a role I am adding to my "Conference Catalyst" program, as many more of my clients are simulcasting their conferences.  The key is get the remote audience engaged, as too often people viewing a conference at home feel like outsiders to the live event.  The key job for Eliz and myself is to make this experience special for those watching on their digital devices.  And we will.

*** Side note (with a smile) -- This takes me back to my high school days when I was an anchor man on the Arcadia High School Apache News my senior year (our twice a week homeroom television news program).  Who knew that was just training me for the internet world of the future and conference simulcasts!!!

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Failure Is Part of the Journey

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #11)

The world is ready for you to start fresh.  But are you?  Some people get scared of failure, and thus they fail to take the actions needed to start the process to re-invent.  Change is possible, but it might come with some mistakes made along the way.

In fact you can count on stumbles. The most successful people I know have all blown it on occasion.  But they did not define themselves by the mistakes, instead they got up and tried again (and again, and again, etc...)

My advice is to not be scared of failing.  Expect it and embrace the bumbles as learning experiences.  As I review the past 6+ years of working for myself I experienced some great business successes, but I have also flubbed up more times than I care to admit. Yet without saying or doing the wrong things from time to time I could not learn how to behave in successful ways that will bring me to the next level.

Failure is part of the journey.  I have some entrepreneur friends who will sit around over a glass of wine and talk about their biggest bombs.  While it is hard to tell your friends where you came up short, once you say it out loud it is no longer haunting you in your soul. Having a safe nest of friends who will not only listen but help you find the lessons in screwing up can be a great way to double the knowledge you can gain (from your failures and theirs).

When was the last time you made a big blunder?  Have you buried it away or have you learned from it?  Does it cause shame or pride when you think about it?  I challenge you to move the mistake to the pride column (as long as you have made the adjustments necessary not to repeat it).

Honestly, this is easier said than done, as our society is full of those who are judgmental and who seek to make less of those who fail.  Get away from these thoughts and seek out stories of those who failed along the way toward success.  Harvey Mackay (one of my favorite business writers) wrote a New York Times Best Selling book in 2004 called "We Got Fired...and it's the best thing that ever happened to us".  In this book he profiled some awesome examples of success and highlighted the failures that had occurred that led them to later being ready to achieve.  Muhammad Ali, Bill Belichick, Michael Bloomberg, Lou Holtz, Larry King, Joe Torre, Jesse Ventura, and others are all profiled in the book.  

Get over yourself and realize that we all are human.  

Wanna talk about failure?  Email me anytime.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #131) - Beth Ziesenis and Nerd Know-How

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

Beth Ziesenis released her new book - "Nerd Know-How: the 27 Best Apps for Work and How to Use Them".

Beth is an awesome friend and a fellow speaker.  She has that "givers heart" that we all aspire to, but few attain. She is fast to refer friends to her clients, and always talks up people's talents.  That is why it is great to have her as week #131 on "Cool Things My Friends Do".  (She was also featured on week #124 when she ran a KickStarter Campaign to fund the production of this book).

Beth is known professionally as "Your Nerdy Best Friend" and she delivers talks to associations and others about the coolest apps on the market today for business. As a technology expert she presents all over the country about the best free and bargain apps and online resources that will help you Release YOUR Inner Nerd to become more organized, efficient and awesome at work and home.

Check out her book, and find out more at YourNerdyBestFriend.com

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #130): Jason Kotecki - Penguins Can't Fly

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

Today my friend Jason Kotecki's releases his new book: Penguins Can't Fly: +39 Other Rules That Don't Exist.  That is always a cool thing, and I am excited to feature him on week #130 of "Cool Things My Friends Do".

Life is supposed to be fun. We knew this instinctively as kids, but somehow forgot on the way to adulthood. We got busy and overwhelmed, started valuing things that don't matter, and learned to follow the rules that don't even exist:

• hate mondays
• only celebrate when the calendar gives you permission
• don't make a mess
• don't play hooky
• hide your weirdness
• hide your wrinkles
• care what other people think

Following these so-called rules is a terrific way to stress you out, sap your energy, and ensure a boring life. But there's a better way. In his enlightening book, author and artist Jason Kotecki uncovers some of the most useless rules so you can shift perspective and start seeing the world with wonder once again.

Jason says: It's time to stop living by someone else's rules. Your life is a story, and a short one at that. Make it a good one.

Jason Kotecki is an artist, speaker and author of several books,

Besides making art that inspires and delights people all over the world, Jason is an engaging professional speaker. He empowers organizations and individuals to restore balance, prevent burnout, and achieve new levels of productivity and innovation with real-world strategies that tap into the timeless wisdom of childhood.

Jason and his wife, Kim (a former kindergarten teacher), are the dynamic duo behind Escape Adulthood and founders of the Cure Adultitis Institute. In their crusade to annihilate Adultitis, they inspire and encourage people to design lives with less stress and more fun.

Jason is a Batman fan, Star Wars watcher, retro t-shirt wearer, avid eater of sugar-laden cereal, and father of three kids. He lives with his family in picturesque Madison, Wisconsin, where they enjoy long walks by the lake and eat way too many cheese curds.

Learn more at EscapeAdulthood.com

Jason was also a recent guest on my podcast "Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do" (Episode #80).

Have A Great Day

thom singer

National Convention: Hang with hometown friends or meet new people?

National association conferences are a great way to build industry contacts.  I attend many of these events (as a member, speaker, or master of ceremonies), and I have a pet peeve:  Local chapter meet-ups while at the national conference.

Why fly all the way across the country to attend an event and then sit with or have a private dinner with people from your own city?  This is common at association conventions, and often a waste of time and it undermines the potential ROI you can get from the event  While yes, having good local relationships matters, there are other places you can cultivate those relationships.  

On "dinner on your own night" people gather their local chapter pals and go off to a restaurant to dine.  Or during the awards lunch they populate a table with their friends from home.  This is so common it is almost an epidemic. 

When I gripe about this practice I hear the mantra; "It is the only time we can get together".  Ummm, no.  The convention is the only time you can meet people from all over the world who are present.  There are other times in your own city you can meet up with your local peeps.  It is a choice.    

Life is all about choices and words such as "only time" are neither true nor helpful.  It gives people the excuse to not network with others, and makes many feel obligated to attend.  Some say it helps bond their friendships with local colleagues, but if that was really a priority you could make it happen several times a year.  Yes, yes, everyone is "busy".... but lately the word busy has become the accepted hall pass to justify any behavior.  Ask yourself, is the "busy" label real or an excuse?

I recently talked about this from stage at a conference.  Several people came up and said "Thank You", as they feel obligated to go to dinner when their chapter president makes the invite.  They do not want to appear rude, so they go along with the crowd.  Others did not like my rant, as they said they are more introverted and don't want to meet new people.  OKAY... that is real.  And acceptable.  If this is the reason, say it out loud and let those who want to mingle be free to go elsewhere.

I am a long-time member of the National Speakers Association.  My friends from the Austin Chapter always organize a night out together at the annual convention. I always say "No", and tell them why (this point of view gets re-stated each year).  Many of my local friends have a different opinion, and I respect their right to go dine together (and they accept my going off with others).  I am only at this convention once a year, and each night's activities are a chance to establish connections with people from outside my hometown.

What do you think?

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Be Brave When Starting New

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #10)

Re-inventing your career and life takes courage.  There are so many stumbling blocks that can undermine confidence when we recreate our livelihoods that many get sent back to their comfort zones and never even attempt the thing they desire.  

Be brave.

Bravery is necessary to push forward in the face of the unknown, and throughout human history we have seen great advancements achieved by those who took risk and did not let fear undermine their journey.  My maternal grandfather took his four younger siblings from Ireland to America after his parents died.  He was 16 years old.  I think of his voyage sometimes and cannot comprehend what he must have felt to be in charge of relocating a family that included a four year old sister.  I am sure it was overwhelming, and yet he made it and they all grew up and created their lives in America.  

Fear of what bad things might happen can paralyze you and keep you from taking the steps necessary to move toward your goals.  While thinking about the downside and pitfalls is important (you do not want to be surprised by real problems that pop up along the way), they are not where you should focus your attention.  Place your attention on the best case of all realistic outcomes and work toward reaching that target.

When you board a plane in Los Angeles headed for Honolulu you want your pilot to be thinking about landing safely in Hawaii.  While many things can go wrong (and being prepared for emergencies is important for the flight crew), they manage the trip with the best possible outcome in mind: a safe landing at the destination.

If you are leaving a career and pursuing a new vocation, it can be hard to gain the knowledge, and even harder to develop the skills necessary to earn a living.  Do not let "hard" stop you from going for your dreams.  Have faith in yourself and then work diligently through all the ups and downs.  

When you make a decision, push forward and bravely take action.  Letting trepidation ooze into your field of vision will make you tentative.  It is the decisive who reach the top of a mountain. Just do it. 

This does not mean to be brave in the face of facts that tell of a lost cause.  Sometimes you have to change course or walk away.  You must always be realistic about the situation at hand, but do not let your imagination or the chance of failure knock the foundation of success out from under you before you even get going.

I have not always been as brave as I should have been and that leaves me feeling sad.  When I look at the very few regrets I have in my life it is never the things I tried for (and failed) that cause disappointmen.  It is the times that I was not brave and did not even try to achieve my dreams that makes me feeling small.  

Trying and failing is a good thing, but not trying to achieve what your heart desires is the biggest mistake one can make.  I say "go for it", and be brave.  Make smart choices, and adjust course if you must.  To swing and miss is better than to forever say "what if".

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #129) - Mike Domitrz on Dateline NBC

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

This Sunday my friend Mike Domitrz will be featured on Dateline NBC.  Mike is the founder of "The Date Safe Project" and an expert on tough topics and real solutions around consent, bystander intervention and respect.  Mike will be be part of a segment called "My Kid Would Never Do That", and if you are a parent, you do not want to miss this episode.

The situation goes like this:  Teens are at a party where alcohol is present. Suddenly, the situation is about to get worse. Your child is at the party and sees the situation about to explode in a way that could hurt another person at the party. What would your child do? Would they respond the way you raised them to? 

Tune in this Sunday, June 14th, 2015, (8:00 pm Eastern / 7pm Central) on Dateline NBC's "My Kid Would Never Do That" with real-life party scenes and hidden cameras exposing the reality of what happens. You might be surprised what actions teens choose to take. By the end, Mike will help both parents and kids be better prepared for these scary realities facing teens today. 

Learn much more (including 3 Tips you can get NOW) at http://dateline.datesafeproject.org/

Congrats to Mike.  He is a great friend and someone who I have learned so much from over the last few years. I am happy to have him featured on "Cool Things My Friends Do" week #129.  

Have A Great Day

Thom Singer

Cool Things My Friends Do (Week #128) - Rory Vaden's TEDx Talk

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

My first "Cool Things My Friends Do" blog post (in March 2012) was about a friend who did a TEDx Talk.  That one post has now spurred 128 posts about things people I know are doing to make the world say "wow".

My friend Rory Vaden just released the link to his TEDx Talk from TEDx Douglasville.  

Everything you know about time-management is wrong. In this challenging and counter-intuitive video, Self-Discipline Strategist and New York Times bestselling author Rory Vaden, shows you why you can’t solve today’s time-management challenges with yesterday’s time-management strategies. More importantly he explains why procrastinating on purpose is the key to being able to Multiply your time.

I have known Rory for six years, and I am happy to feature him on week #128 of "Cool Things My Friends Do" (he was mentioned last summer on CTMFD #111 - as he was part of the group receiving the Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation with from the National Speakers Association in June 2014).

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Leveling Up Your Life

40 Tips To Re-Invent and Re-Launch at Age 40, 50, or Beyond. (Tip #9)

Similar to "re-invention", there is a lot of talk lately about "Leveling Up".  This term is tossed around often by advice gurus, but it rarely is accompanied by useful tips on "how to" raise up your game to a higher level.  While some people do not want to totally re-launch their life, you might find yourself seeking to perform your current life with more precision and focus.  So what does it mean to "Level Up"?

From what I understand the term originates in the video gaming would.  As one plays a game and improves their skills and accomplish tasks, the player moves to a higher level.  This "leveling up" increases the difficulties of the game, but also brings more respect from the advanced abilities that go with the new level.  Oh, and the game if more fun to play at higher levels.

In the game of life, we hear the suggestion that people need to "level up", but I am not sure that most really understand what that means. On several podcasts I listen to the suggestion of "Leveling Up" is being tossed around, and it makes it sound like a magical experience that just happens.  Are we missing the part from our gaming friends where it takes experience and skill (and increases the ongoing difficulties of day to day life)?  

Also, is it more fun to play life at higher levels?  Hmmm... I think yes!!!

I searched on line for advice on "how to level up" and saw many articles that gave ridiculous suggestions:  

• Take more photographs
• Fly a kite
• Swing on a playground
• Enroll in a fencing class
• Chase butterflies
• Smile
• Stretch
• Etc...

What?  How does chasing butterflies really make a difference in living a better life?  I understand the concept of getting out of the daily rut, but not sure that is really the missing link to greatness. 

One article suggested "Have more sex" as a key to leveling up.  Sounds great, but not sure that alone makes you more effective or successful in life. Just watch half the reality shows on TV and you will find a bunch of losers who get laid regularly.

I write this post on my birthday, and next year I will turn the big 5-0.  This does not bother me, as my father was over fifty when I was born, so I do not see this number as "old".  But as with many, birthdays are milestones, and I want to be on top of my game as I enter the second half of life (hey, my dad lived to be 99-years-old).

I think to being achieving at a higher level you have to be aware of what it is you seek to accomplish.  One has to make a formal declaration that they want to make improvements.  Creating specific goals that are achievable is the first step.  If you do not know what you are seeking, you will never be able to get there.  Change will not happen by accident.

Then you have to seek out the knowledge you will need to play at the next level.  Reading, listening to podcasts, taking classes and finding mentors are just some ways that you can expand your current situation.  Knowledge is power, and too often people make assumptions about what their goal is about, but never do the research.  To level up you have to live a life of curiosity.  Ask questions like a 5 year old.  Accept nothing, and always be learning.

This whole thing takes time.  You cannot just make jumps in life.  Patience and perseverance will be your best friends in the attempt to "up your game".

Finally, you have to start taking actions that lead you toward your goal.  The best advice comes from Dr Steven Covey in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People".  He said "Begin With The End in Mind".  When you know what success looks like, you can reverse engineer the steps to get you there.

Do not just toss around the term "Leveling Up".... do it.  I am currently looking to do this in my own life, but I know I cannot do it alone.  If you have found ways to grow and expand, share what has worked for you along your path.

Have A Great Day.

Thom Singer

10 Tips for High School Graduates

This week my oldest daughter, my only niece and two nephews all graduate from high school.  Wow, that is a big week for our family.  It has caused me to look back to my own graduation from high school 31 years ago.  Wow, time files.  I do not think 31 years ago I had a clue, but it has been a good journey.

Along the way I have made good choices and some not as good choices.  I have failed to be my best self on occasion, but I have also done some things right.  When I look at what is important I am very clear that what matters most is relationships.  All opportunities come from people, and how we treat others makes a difference on their lives and our own.  It is not about our intentions, but instead about our actions.

I woke up today (the day of my own kid's graduation) and I was wondering what advice I could share with Jackie, Summer, Scott and Bobby (not that 18-year-olds want advice from their dad or uncle).  They did not ask for this advice, and the list is not 100% comprehensive, but I believe anyone who consistently does this will find more success and happiness as they live out their time on this planet.

Here are the ten things I suggest.  They wont do them all the time, as I didn't either, but I share the ideas just the same.  Life is a long journey, and I have found that even the best advice may take a lifetime to learn, understand and implement.

Ten Tips for High School Graduates

1. Have consistency of self: personally, professionally and spiritually.
2. Be slow to anger and fast to forgive.
3. Treat everyone with respect and be nice to those you encounter.
4. Take an interest in what matters and is important to others.
5. Find solutions, do not just point out problems.
6. Do not gossip or say bad stuff about others.
7. Have fun, and help the people around you have more fun.
8. Say "Thank You" to those who help you or otherwise have an impact on your life.
9. Celebrate the success of friends and colleagues (don't let envy or jealousy hold you back).
10. Bounce back quickly from mistakes, stumbles, and failures (forgive yourself).
11. Always deliver more than you promised.

The legendary Zig Ziglar said it best:

"You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want"

Congratulations to the graduates of the Class of 2015, especially these four amazing people who I love and respect so much.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do - Week #127. Judson Laipply in Delta Safety Video

Each week on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their personal and professional lives.

My friend Judson Laipply (you all know him as the creator of one of the first YouTube viral videos: "The Evolution of Dance" with over 292 million views) shows up in this new Delta Airlines online safety video.  

The premise of the video is they utilize a ton on YouTube sensations as the actors in the video.  It is fun, and your favorite cats, goats, bumbling beauty queens, and dancing Judsons all have cameos.



I am happy to share this with you and to have Judson as week #127 of Cool Things My Friends Do.  I have known Judson for several years and he is one of the nicest people you will ever encounter (and a great inspirational speaker, in addition to having all the dance moves).

Have A Great Day

thom singer