People Are Difficult (This should not be a surprise to anyone)

Interacting with people is not always easy.  When you are around other humans, it is hard sometimes as we all have our own opinions, experiences, desired outcomes, and emotions.  Everyone has ideas of how they want things to turn out and some people become difficult if your outlook differs from their own.

Being wrong is part of the human experience, and I have come to understand that when socially engaged I do not have to be the smartest in the room, nor do I have to connect my self-worth to my bring right.  This is a lesson that was hard learned.  But my own path has become simple since I know I might be wrong (and that it is okay).

I spent a long time being sad and was full of self doubt in my career.  My own internal dialogue caused me to worry about what others thought of me.  To mask these feelings from the outside I over compensated.  Overall this did not serve me well, but the more I have realized this is normal for many people, the less I needed to behave in this manner.  Everyone is dealing with their own "stuff", and that makes my own issues seem manageable. 

It is common to see someone caught up with issues of self and then they project their feelings onto the social tapestry.  They work to recruit people to their "side" escalate minor things into major ones. You cannot stop this from happening, and everyone knows someone who has done this.  

You have to choose.... accept them (with their flaws) or move on.  Either is a fine choice and there is no way for anyone but you to know what is best for your exact situations. 

You cannot change another person and this is what messes up so many relationships.  We think we can "fix" them and in the end we just increase the tension.  Realizing you cannot change others takes away the power they want to have.  I just shrug and say "oh well" and try to love my friends and family unconditionally.

An outlook that "every interaction is a NOT a competition" is the best medicine.  It has made me happier and allowed me to let go when a friend seems to be undermining something that matters to me.  Reminded yourself that the actions of those around you are most likely more about their own "stuff", and not yours.  

Have a great day

thom singer

I Want To Love My Job

A friend told his daughter that he hoped she would find a career where she was fully engaged and thrilled to be part of her industry.  He added that of all their friends, nobody loved their job as much as I did.  He told her to watch the passion I have for being a speaker and master of ceremonies, and how I want to impact those I encounter, and seek out a similar way to work when she grew up.

When I heard this I was a little embarrassed, as I was not sure the my career path is the best example of a road to happiness.  Along the way I made some bad choices and had a few bosses who were awful. I work many days and screamed out loud in my car as I commuted to the office.  I always worked hard, but too often I had my ladder against the wrong wall, or was in a situation where the money took president over my total satisfaction.

Seven years ago I began my career as a professional master of ceremonies and keynote speaker.  Working for myself has been both amazing and frustrating, but my friend is right about how much I enjoy what I do for a living.  I really love my job.

My business is still growing and I believe that I should be doing a lot of things more efficiently.  I am struggling to keep up the momentum that I have created, as competition is everywhere. Meeting planners, committees, and everyone in an association or company has an opinion about who is the right speaker and what is the appropriate topics for their events.  Too often speakers miss the mark, and thus everyone is suspect of who they hire and seek reasons to justify why or why not make a speaker selection.

But if this business was easy, there would be more people working as speakers, because it is truly and awesome way to make a living.  Last week I spoke to a group in the building and construction trade and the planner was such a nice person with a giving soul.  In our conversation after my speech she told me that when anyone she knows is having a tough time she gathers up her nieces and they bake cookies.  She tells the kids that the person getting the treats is in need of "extra love" in the cookies and makes sure her assistants knows the purpose of their baking.  The cookies are a nice gesture, but I was blown away by the message this sends to these young girls in her kitchen.  It is stories like this that reminds me of all the good in the world.

I am not sure everyone gets to encounter as many people as I do in such positive ways.  Those who plan events work hard and have a lot of stress, but in the end they are creating experiences for others, and most planners love their jobs and the meetings the curate.  Being with them, and adding to their attendees experience, means I am surrounded by good vibes.  In over seven years I only encountered one meeting organizer who had a dark soul.  She was like a robot.  We did not see the world the same way, and she did not like me at all.  That is a pretty good ratio: 300+ were wonderful and one was not.  I will take those odds all day long.  Most people I encounter are amazing.

For the past six months I have been writing a one-man-show that can be used in place of a keynote.  The message is about finding creativity and more satisfaction in career and life. It is a keynote in the fact that it is both content rich and motivational, but is presented in a way that will not be what audiences expect.  This "play" is a unique way to tell a story and share ideas for success with business and association convention audiences.

Most planners will never take the risk of putting a professional speaker on stage as an actor who is playing a role.  However, some will (I am already talking to a few adventurous meeting organizers who like the thought of an out of the box show).  When it all works together we will have more fun than anyone could imagine at a conference.  Imagination does not have to lay dormant in you work either.  I am living proof of this.  One does not have to leave a corporate job to work as a solopreneur to find this level of excitement and joy at work.  It is just about being open to the idea of loving your job.

The friend who told his daughter that he wants her to enjoy her career as much as I do is right.  I want that for my kids.  I want that for everyone.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

My Experience at the NSA CSP/CPAE Summit

Last weekend was the National Speakers Association "CSP/CPAE SUMMIT" at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs.

The small (77 people) conference was a series of mastermind discussions in large and small groups with other Certified Speaking Professionals (CSPs). I had the honor to be the co-chair (and the master of ceremonies) for this event.

(Do not think for a minute that being up in front of a crowd of speakers is not scary. Speakers are a tough crowd. I will admit to being a little nervous about this one).

Even with responsibility in the running of the event, I still was able to participate in the conversations about trends in the meetings industry and ways to impact our individual businesses. The list of things I need to be doing differently is very robust.

We had several video interviews with experienced meeting professionals who talked about how the business of meetings is currently undergoing major changes, and what this means for the speakers they put on stage. Association and corporate events are facing lots of pressure to reinvent the experience they are delivering for attendees, and the speakers are intimately integrated into that experience.  We all need to be having this discussion no matter what industry we work in, as change is always going to happen.

We also heard from a university researcher about what motivates people to participate in group situations.  His area of study began with decline in participation in some churches, while others thrived.  However the data matches closely with the Meetings Industry.  Talk about having to look at the world differently, this guy was a highlight of the whole weekend.

There was candid discussions about how speakers need to modify our delivery, marketing, audience engagement, and interaction with the planning committees as the new rules for events looms on the horizon. Nobody wants to be Blockbuster in a Netflix World.

I was reminded by being part of this event that is is a good thing to be involved in your industry association (no matter what you do for a living). Engagement can have deep value when you get past your own "self" and "ego" and become part of a community.  Volunteering showed me a whole new side to the organization and many of its members.

An association, like any group, will have a variety of people and a wide-range of personalities. I found that when I remember that I am not the smartest person in the room the best ideas come my way.  Being open to a variety of points of view is key if you do not want to feel like you are always fighting an uphill battle.

A higher understanding and respect for those who plan events also became evident.  Spending a year working on The Summit with my co-chair and the NSA Staff person (who is amazing) was an eye opening experience. There is so much to do to ensure a positive culture at a multi-day event, and there is no way any event professional will please everyone.  You have to find your vision for the whole experience and move ahead the best you can.  

The CSP / CPAE Summit allowed me to grow as a professional speaker and as a person. I was inspired and challenged both in my role as co-chair, but also as part of the tribe of CSPs. There is a lot of gratitude inside me for the people who were present at this conference.   While I am sure that different people had any number of personal experiences, I hope they all feel inspired from this gathering.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Eight Tips for Solopreneurs

April 1, 2009 I was laid off from my corporate marketing job.  This was the height of the great recession and my employment options were non-existent.  On that day I decided to follow my dream of self-employment and begin my creating my own career path that would not tie my job status to someone else's company.

Becoming a professional speaker and master of ceremonies was a long-time dream, and something I had planned to eventually pursue. With a young family to support, making such a leap seemed too scary, but with no other employment options I began to build my own solopreneur existence, and I have never looked back.

As the job market continues to be awkward, there are more and more people who are making the move to being solopreneurs (some by choice, others by circumstance).  This is not an easy existence, and while I have worked hard and had some great opportunities, each day I start over at the bottom of the hill.

I have learned a lot in seven years.  Here are the most important lessons I have discovered, and are paramount to what I am helping others understand with in my "Cool Things Project" group coaching program.

Eight Tips For Solopreneurs

1.  You are in sales.  No matter what your product or service, if you work for yourself you are responsible for revenue generation.  Sales is the life-blood of every business, and to lose sight of this is a recipe for failure.  Doing good work is not enough in our noisy world.  Anyone can access social media and claim credibility in your industry, so thinking reputation alone will generate new business will limit your future.  Invest the time to learn about sales and marketing skills, and then take action.  Selling is hard work (that is why sales professionals in the largest companies earn so much money), so be ready for the time and effort you will have to put in to generate results.

2. Most friends in your network will not help you.  We are taught at business seminars that all opportunities come from people, and thus we falsely believe the people in our networks will refer us business or hire us to serve their company's needs once we launch our company.  The reality is that most people you know are not thinking about you or your business.  While people generally intend to help others, the reality is many of your friends are too caught up in their own day-to-day lives to remember you are trying to build a business.  Do not expect a huge line of people who will be active in supporting your efforts.

3.  A few contacts are worth their weight in gold.  While not everyone will be a recourse to help connect your business to success, there will be some people who will move mountains to see your find new customers.  These rare souls who go out of their way to refer you, promote you via word-of-mouth and social media, and who buy your products (sometimes when they do not even have a need for your service) are to be cherished.  The weirdest part is that the people you think will be your supporters often will disappoint you, and the most random friends will become your champions.  

4.  Get involved in your industry association.  Solopreneurs are busy, and often they feel they do not have the time or the money to participate in their industry trade groups.  I found that my involvement with the National Speakers Association to be the key to my success as a speaker.  It is not that my membership in the association got me any direct business, but my activity exposed me to information and to other people who were living their lives in the business.  Having friends who are successful in your area of expertise means you do not have to reinvent the wheel.  

5.  Watch your expenses closely.  Too many who come out of corporate jobs are used to large budgets and not experienced being the person who has to pay all the bills.  I have seen too many solopreneurs who believed that spending a lot of money on websites, coaching, database programs, marketing videos, and other expensive services.  I spent as little as possible on everything when I was starting out, and would upgrade to higher levels as I could afford it.  This meant that I did not always have the best of everything (and often used other providers who were just starting out), but it also meant that I was realistic about cash flow and kept the expenses in check.

6. Say "Yes".  I find a lot of small business professionals and solopreneurs who are obsessed with protecting their time. They skip networking one-on-one or do not attend events with the rationalization that they are wasting time by not buckling down and working. They worry about their calendar to a level that they are missing out on opportunities.  While most people you will encounter will not become valuable resources, some will have the ability to change your future.  You cannot pre-judge events or people, so make it a habit of saying yes to being involved with others and over the long run it will pay off.

7.  Make sure your family is on board.  Being a solopreneur often means you do not get to shut the door to work.  The concerns over stability and money can be overwhelming, and if your spouse and children are not part of your journey, it will create problems.  While some people have their significant other active in their business, this wont be ideal for everyone.  Regardless of if they work with you or not, you have to keep them in the loop as to how things are going.

8.  Help others.  Be the person who is actively working to be a catalyst for success.  Find small ways to serve other solopreneurs in their journey to build their businesses.  While they wont all return the favor, never keep score.  Find ways to promote the businesses of people you know, even some in the same industry.  Every action you take is a brick in your reputation, and those who work for more than self will find more people will do the same.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Interactive Presentations At Conferences... Have We Gone Too Far?

Have we gone too far with speakers forcing the audience members talk to their neighbors every seven minutes?  Is touching your neighbor's elbow really and saying "you can do it" what adult learning is all about?  

While interaction and audience engagement is paramount to learning and the retention of information, is it the magic bullet to make keynotes and breakout sessions awesome? If the speaker is not skilled at leading discussions and creating an engaging atmosphere, their talks become choppy and the activities become forced. 

Interaction for the sake of interaction is not necessarily creating better learning environments. There is so much more to being effective than scheduling times to make people turn to their neighbors and bare their soul. While I am not disputing the value of having the audience involved in the learning, my own experiences as a student have shown that a passionate and enthusiastic teacher is also important.  While we in the meetings business are talking a lot about audience participation, we need to have higher expectations of the speakers we put on stage. Experience presenting, a desire to impact the audience, and a passion to inspire are often overlooked in the selection process.

A speaker who captivates an audience does not have to follow a pre-set path of interactive games. Sometimes it seems committees are less interested in the skill of a speaker if he has submitted a well written learning objective filled proposal. 

I was recently in a convention break-out session where the speaker had the audience fill out a worksheet.  The speaker, to encourage full disclosure in personal answers, told the crowd to write down whatever they were thinking.... and that she would not make them share their answers with their neighbors.  The whole room burst into applause (I mean honest cheering), as every other session at this event was more about chatting at tables than hearing from speakers.

Is it possible we have gone too far with the need to make every talk be about sharing from the crowd?  Could a happy medium be what people really want in their conference attendee experience?  Before you attack me for asking this question (and as I write this I can feel some experts dismissing my thoughts because the do not agree with their own beliefs), ask yourself if we have not seen other concepts become hot trendy issues that later level out to the reality.

I am not saying "no interaction" (please do not think that is what I am writing about), but instead get speakers involved early to understand what this means and work with them to create activities that help their overall presentation be memorable.

My own memories of learning while attending conferences come from a level of excitement and energy from the teacher / speaker and their commitment to the audience (think back to high school - which teachers made a difference in your life? I bet they were the ones who were them most committed to helping you succeed). 

I like audience engagement exercises, and use them in my own talks, but this has become the buzzword in the event world.  A meeting organizer recently asked me how many interactive activities I would have in a 45 minute keynote?  My answer of "one or two, depending on the talk" (remember, this is the kick off keynote at 8:00 AM, not a workshop) was answered with "we require all speakers to insert an activity every seven minutes or we will not hire them.  Ummmm, what?  I asked a few more questions and she said her boss attended a seminar the month before and learned this would improve their event.  Not sure one way or the other, but I think the issue is deeper than games in the talks.  

Let's all work together to set the tone for conferences where people learn more and have positive experiences that lead to them coming back year after year.  Creating powerful learning experiences takes more than telling your neighbor they are a winner. There are many variables that go into creating an impact as a speaker, trainer or other person who is ready to teach. Engagement activities are just part of the very complicated answer.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

***Thom Singer is a professional master of ceremonies and keynote speaker.  He is known as "The Conference Catalyst" for how the way he sets the tone for corporate and association events.  www.ThomSinger.com 

Hire a Sales Speaker

Why hire a sales speaker for your next event?

Sales is the root of all success regardless of your industry.  When the topic of sales is ignored or avoided we are short-sheeting the success of our the organization.

Too often people who are planning agendas for corporate, legal, or association events shy away from the idea of putting sales and marketing on the main stage.  They make excuses as to why this topic is not right for their audience, and lean towards keynotes by celebrities, economists, innovation experts, or any pancake stack of technical industry-specific speakers.

All of the above are important issues, and some speakers who fall into these categories will "wow" an audience (some wont, but that is a different discussion), but if we ignore sales we ignore the future of everyone in the room.  All organizations need to educate their people as to the value of cultivating new and repeat business if we care about job security for everyone.

Sales is the oldest profession (yes, sales).  Without paying customers there is no company, law firm, or association.  One would thing businesses would realize this and champion "sales" to all, but they do not.  Too often law firms pretend they are not like other companies (they are, they need profits or they shut down) and act like sales is not to be discussed.  Non-profits proclaim that sales do not matter in their world (they do), but ask any CEO of an association and they will tell you if they numbers don't add up, people lose their jobs.  Sales are key to the future no matter what you do for a living.

Those whose job descriptions do not involve responsibility for the bottom line can stick their head in the sand, but that is limiting for the whole organization.  The smartest organizations will help everyone realize how they can impact sales, even if their role is internal.  The elephant in the room at almost all events is that sales matters to your audience.

Finding the right speaker who can take an often scary topic (yes, sales is scary) and make it relate to the crowd is the hard part, but not impossible.  Talk to the speakers you are considering and ask how their topics can be related to sales, or seek out sales speakers and look for how together you can customize your message to meet the needs of your audience.  Sales should not frighten people, but inspire them about growing the organization.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

*** Thom Singer is a professional master of ceremonies and keynote speaker.  www.ThomSinger.com 

Keynote Speaker Canceled - What Do I Do?

Keynote Speaker Canceled?  

The first thing to do if you found this post because you are in a situation where you speaker canceled is to call me at (512) 970-0398.  Maybe I am available to come and speak to your event, or maybe I know another experienced presenter who can fill in.  

The key is not to panic.  There are lots of things you can do that will still allow you to have an awesome event that will have a lasting impact on your event's attendees.

While it is rare that speakers cancel, this does happen from time to time.  While there is no excuse good enough for the meeting planner, I have known of speakers who have had travel issues with airlines. weather, been in car accidents, gotten the flu, calendared the wrong date, or had a family emergency. Life happens.

A speaker no-show is more common for small groups that are not paying the presenter or use local executives for their program.  Professionals make their living serving the client and will move mountains and part the oceans to be at the event.  Because professional speakers work with meeting planners everyday they understand and respect all the nuances that go into executing a meeting.  Also, professionals (especially those who are active in the meeting business and who see speaking as part of that industry) often have friends who are also speakers. A good reason to work with those who are active in the National Speakers Association is that they will have access to thousands of peers. 

I have seen events of all sizes scramble at the last minute to fill an open slot in their agenda.  Below are four things you can do if your speaker cancels at the last minute and you have tried calling me (or someone) to help you find a replacement. 

(These apply for both local business club luncheons or a large multi-day industry conferences):

1.  Always have a Plan B.  I have worked with several organizations who have my phone number on speed dial in case of a need for a last-minute speaker.  While you might not think this would be something that would happen very often, I have filled in seven times in the last four years (last minute can mean a few days in before the event, several hours in advance, or once I was pulled from the audience to deliver a 45 minute keynote).

Savvy professional speakers also have a network of industry friends they can recommend who can step in at the last minute if a problem occurs. While you never want to get that call from your speaker saying they are too ill to speak to your audience, if they have already found a fantastic solution it will make your day much better.  (Speakers who are members of the National Speakers Association can tap into this network no matter where in the world they are scheduled to speak).

2.  Look to your event agenda, past speakers or future speakers.  A multi-day industry event will have a full docket of speakers who will already be present.  Look to see whose program could be up-graded from a break-out to a keynote.  If it is a break-out session you need to fill, see if the keynote speaker has more information that can be delivered as a "booster shot" to those who might want more following his or her main stage program (some speakers will charge you for the extra presentation, but most will be happy to step in and help you out in your time of need).

If it is a local business luncheon, look at your list of past speakers you have had over the last two years and see if you can bring one of them back for an encore presentation.  Since they already know the audience and the venue, they might be comfortable filling in with little notice.

Additionally, maybe a future speaker would be willing to come in and do his talk early.  Some people might not be able to do this from a preparation stand-point, but asking is always a good idea.

3.  Create a round-table lab.  Your audience is full of brilliant people.   Select two or three topic questions that are cutting-edge and involve timely issues.  Get someone on the board or planning committee to be the Master of Ceremonies and explain openly and honestly about how the speaker could not be there.  Next proclaim this to be a fantastic and unique opportunity to crowd source knowledge and best-practices.  Make the audience the heroes.  Then share the discussion topics, having each table elect a discussion leader.  Every few minutes the MC will encourage a new question be bantered about at the tables.  During the last 20 minutes of the meeting each table reports to the whole the best thoughts shared in their group.

4.  Make it a networking opportunity.  Turn the speaker-less meeting into a "Networking Speed Dating Bonanza" by encouraging people make more contacts.  Extend the reception time, and once seated for the meal have everyone introduce themselves around their table.  When dessert is served encourage everyone to move to a new seat in the room.

A main reason people attend business events is for the "networking opportunities", and most meeting planners admit that no matter how much time they schedule for people to mingle, they do not do a good job of it.  Make this open time powerful by facilitating introductions and connections. 

Leadership is paramount to success in this situation.  If you confidently communicate to the attendees that the meeting will still have an equal or greater impact, then they will follow.  If you are timid about the changes to the program being positive, then they are lost.

If you found this article from a search while you are in a panic... I wish you luck, but I am confident you can and will find the right solution for your event.

Have A Great Day

thom singer
512-970-0398

Don't "Network" At a Conference.... Bad Business Advice

A piece of advice given to someone going to a conference on an association group chat just struck me as bad advice.  The person said:

"My advice is to be simply real and connect with others as human beings. Don't "network"."

I am not being a jerk or the word police, but the way we use words matters.  "Networking" means creating and cultivating long-term and mutually beneficial relationships. There is nothing in the actual definition that is about being salesy, schoozy, or manipulative in connecting.  However, people have taken to using the word in negative ways to get attention for their points, and it has created a problem in how we teach people to get ahead.

Without thinking through the point of "Don't network" one could make all kinds of career mistakes.  What the well meaning advice giver meant was that people should not look to pounce like a hungry sales wolf on everyone they encounter.  Being pushy or too verbose about your product and service is sure to limit results of connecting at events.  However, when your goal is long-term and mutually beneficial relationships, then asking questions, listening, and helping others will prevail.

Don't let a misuse of words take you off point the next time you go to an event.  Don't be a pushy sales driven and self-focused fool.  But network like crazy.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

9th Annual Fundraiser for the Kate Singer Endowment for Cranio-Facial Research

For the 9th year in a row our family is hosting a fundraiser for Cranio-Facial Research at Dell Children's Medical Center.

As many of you know, Kate was born with a condition called Sagital Synostosis, and required surgery to rebuild her skull at age six-months. At the time there was no Dell Children's Medical Center in Central Texas, thus we had to search outside of our community to find the right doctors who would operate on Kate and give her a fresh start in life. Since the opening of Dell Children's our family has supported the hospital with regular donations and the hosting of this annual fundraiser. 

We celebrate Kate, now age 14, each February by raising money to help others who are born with Cranio-Facial abnormalities. One might think that a small donation does not matter, but over time these fundraisers and our contributions have grown to over $50,000 at both Dell Children's and Rady Children's Hospital in San Diego.  Your support of this effort is making a lasting impact.

DONTATE NOW

Thank you for your support of this great cause!  Learn more about our efforts at http://thomsinger.com/giving-back/

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

ThomSinger.com Website Has Re-Launched

I am excited to have launched my new website at ThomSinger.com.  It is a big change in appearance and has more information and a dedicated page for the "Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do" Podcast.  

The refresh was a true collaboration with the team at Found Media Group (they are great, and if you need a new look for your website, I highly recommend you talk to them!).  

The look and feel has taken a new direction and I think it is a fresh feel for my business.  There are still some tweaks in the works, but we are happy with the results thus far. 

Old Homepage:

New Homepage:

Please jump over to ThomSinger.com and take a look and let me know what you think.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Your Best Learning From PCMA Convening Leaders 2016

"The Power of Hello" at Monday's PCMA Morning Orientation

The final “Morning Orientation” session at the PCMA (Professional Convention Manager Association) Convening Leaders Conference in Vancouver was a facilitated conversation with the participants about their best “Ah Ha” learning moments and how they intend to implement these ideas once they returned to the office. 

When I serve as the master of ceremonies at an event, or in this case, when I am charged with facilitating special projects for a convention (The “Morning Orientation” was an optional session each morning before the keynote – a “Pre-Note” as I call it - where the breakfast hour provides extra information and networking), I enjoy leading an engaged discussion where attendees can share with each other what they learned at the event.  

Participants at a convention can never attend all the concurrent sessions, and since they cannot be in all places at once, the chance to hear nuggets of inspiring information are limited to the sessions they choose to attend.  Plus, we all process differently, so we may miss parts of a message in a workshop, even if we are in the room.

This small but powerful conclave of PCMA attendees at the Wednesday "Morning Orientation" shared many great ideas.  I have posted them below so these thoughts of brilliance could be shared with others.

(***Special thanks to Gwen Fortune-Blakely for taking notes from this fast paced and high-energy conversation).

The below information are ideas that stood out from the 2016 Convening Leaders Conference.  Attribution is given when possible, but the purpose of our group discussion was to share an idea and how it could be implemented. Many ideas came from sessions, but some came from participants impromptu hallway conversations and other chats they had offline. I acknowledge that the information is paraphrased in most cases, but there are many powerful ideas that should be shared broadly.

• From Jeff Hurt's Session: What is the information that CEOs wants their people to learn?:  Leadership, strategic thinking, innovation and creativity top the list.  But do these topics show up in the agendas of most conferences that people attend?  90% of CEOs see leadership as the highest priority (second is strategic thinking), and yet too many associations flood their leaning with industry sector specific topics. 

• There was also talk from Jeff Hurt’s session about being more strategic.  A member of our discussion group pointed out that her team will meet on Monday to brainstorm the two major ideas where they will focus their attention this year and how they will track the impact to their next meeting. They had already calendared the meeting while still in Vancouver (I like that kind of initiative).

• From Donna Kastner and Tahira Endean's session:  When having a conversation with a client, are you focused on what part of your conversation matters to the other person, or are you instead leading with topics that matter to you?  When you put your attention on to what they are thinking and what motivates them, you will have more success in your conversations. 

• One early morning participant shared that her big "Ah Ha" was that she has to fight the “we have always done it this way” attitude in her association, but she has been challenged this week to be more persistent.  Giving up right way on "change" when you get push back will leave you with the same old same old, and nobody wins.  Her manager likes the way she pushes and has given her permission to “bug” her with fresh ideas.  She said her boss sees the ROI of attending an event like Convening Leaders by how much she comes home from a conference with new ideas, and how much she bugs her to try the new concepts.

• Many people in the “Morning Orientation” sighted the words of Juliet Funk and her concepts of “White Space”.  We talked about how important it is to get away from the “busy routines” of work and to allow some down-time to inspire the discovery of solutions.  Participants said they were going to find ways to build “White Space” into their schedules and to bring this message back to their teams.  If someone needs to go for a walk around the block to deal with processing issues, that can be viewed by co-workers as slacking off.  If the culture of the organization supports this, everyone wins.  If people realize this is an important way to get to solutions (having the time to think and process), then more people will do it regularly.  Additionally, small staff meeting do not always have to be in the boardroom, a team could take a walk together and find more success discussing a problem in a relaxed atmosphere. 

• From the session on “Six way to dramatically improve committee output” (presenter: Sarah Michele) there were several take-aways.  Once participant said while her staff is not supposed to drive “content” they can and should drive the experience of their event to ensure they are providing attendees with the “White Space” to have their own “Ah Ha” moments.  Suggestions were talked about to work with their committee to not overload the agenda and allow serendipity.  There was more talk about “how things have always been done” being a problem when dealing with sacred cows of program agendas, etc… 

• In overcoming these traditions, there was more talk about being persistent as a planner.  If you hear “No” to an idea, it is not a stop sign, but a yield sign.  You have to keep trying to get change to happen.  (***However, there was a caveat added from Maia from the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers.  In her work she gets worried when people use words that undermine “no mean no” language, as they relate to sexual abuse--- “No” does mean stop!!!  We talked about that when using words to encourage persistence in creating change for meetings, we need to put those words in context.  I applaud Maia for sharing this, as it was an important lesson to everyone to recognize).

• Another attendee shared that her association is going through an organizational change and sighted a session that had the four steps of change, which include how staff and volunteers need to deal with the feelings of betrayal and denial.  Management has to  be aware of how stake holders are feeling and help people deal through with new directions. 

• One person added that the facilitated discussion we were participating at this "Morning Orientation" was in was in itself a “White Space” moment (in relations to how we were discussing ideas and sharing perspectives with the group), and she added that sometimes “White Space needs a moderator", and she planned to add a session like this into her own events to engage the sharing about the best learning moments. 

• Praise was given to PCMA for this year's Convening Leaders event and the attention to more personal development topics.  People thought this was great and everyone agreed there are limits to the technical topics of space, contracts, room blocks, etc…  Many shared cases at Convening Leaders when they were challenged to step back and look at the big picture of actions they should be taking on a daily basis.  They also said there were times they learned about actions they need to quit doing.  Several members of the conversation committed to doing a daily plan of the big tasks they need to get done, and pushing aside the distracting and less important things so they could put more focus on the big ideas. 

• The “Power of Hello” concept from the Monday “Morning Orientation” was a big “Ah Ha” for several in the room.  They had immediately put this into practice while at the event and found that when you say “hello" to others at a conference, that will begin a conversation.  Several people said it was easier than they expected to meet new people and find others to eat with at lunch, dinner, etc… 

• Final tip was when you got back to the office, to transcribe all your notes and “Ah Ha” moments into a Word document and to share them with your team.  Not everyone could attend the event, and by sharing your notes you might inspire someone else with their own “Ah Ha”.  It is also a good, and subtle” way to show those who were at the office all week that you were actually working while at Convening Leaders and not at a great party (although the event was a lot of fun!).

Thank you to all who participated in the “Morning Orientations” for one or more of the three days.  The early start time meant you had to be committed to hear the important information about PCMA for that day, and gain from the additional content and networking.  I think we succeeded in having fun, too.

If you read this blog post and were at the 2016 Convening Leaders event, please add you best learning or “Ah Ha” moment in the comments section.

**Thanks you to all presenters who shared ideas at the PCMA event and those who passed these key insights on in our group discussion!!

Have a Great Day

Thom Singer

Thom Singer is a professional master of ceremonies and motivational keynote speaker.  He is known as “The Conference Catalyst” for his high energy and content rich programs that impact how people engage at live industry events.  Thom is also the host of the “Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do” podcast.  www.ThomSinger.com

Win More By Not Being Rude

Has it become "okay" to be rude?  Is the trend of self-focus gotten us to the point that we rarely even acknowledge the people around us?  Smart phones and other gadgets have our attention, and since the power to connect with the whole world is in our hands we are missing the human engagement that is all around us.  

I am not talking about blatant in your face nasty (that should never be acceptable), yet there seems to be less common courtesy and fewer smiles between people in our daily interactions.  While "rude" is a word that makes many nervous, I think it is the right word.  Most people do not see their own actions as "rude".... but in a world where being over-extended and busy is a badge of honor, few people take the time to notice others (much less give them a few seconds of polite attention).

If you watch closely throughout your day you will see what I mean.  People seem more detached in recent years.  It is in the little things where etiquette seems to be abandoned.  I am not blaming the internet, social media and the mobile technology, but there is clearly a lack of intention lately to the social manners.

At Starbucks this morning I watched the line of people in front of me.  Only one woman said "Thank You" to the person who was serving the drinks to the waiting customers.  Now, one could argue that in the transaction of six dollar cups of coffee one does not need to be gracious to the baristas, but one out of eight people seemed out of wack.

Last week at a hotel when the elevator doors opened two young women who were staring at their phones walked into the lift without waiting for others to exit.  Those of us getting off had to push past, and once the doors closed we all looked at each other in amazement.  No recognition that other people had been present. 

And don't get me started about "Thank You Notes", or at least saying "Thank You" to people who have done you a favor or sent you a gift.  Too many people just go on with their lives without showing any gratitude, and if questioned about it they look at you like you are from Mars.  Gratitude is not something you should ever ignore.  

In a world where common courtesy seems to be in short supply, if you want to stand out and find more success in your human-to-human relationships it is easier than ever to get noticed by simply not being "rude".  Being polite and making others feel special will allow you to win more often in the game of life.

Go back to the basics of social etiquette and people will be impressed by your actions.  It takes no extra time to be polite, and if you do this regularly you will develop an epic reputation for how you treat others.  It is sad that being kind to others has become a way to stand out in the crowd, but those who practice being nice, and avoid being rude, will find more success.

I often speak to groups about "Cooperative Significance".  We all want to make a contribution and be significant at work, home, and in our communities.  But you cannot decide for others that you are significant, they make that determination.  To be significant you begin by making others feel they matter (as this will cause them to notice you).  One way to do this is to be nice to them and help them feel good about the things they are accomplishing in their world.  

Five Tips To Being Kind

1.  Be observant.  Many people go about their day feeling invisible, as too few are noticing others actions.  Take the time to watch the people around you and acknowledge their contributions. You should do this at home, around the office, or anywhere you go. Make it a habit to be aware of others.

2.  Say something nice.  Everyone is so busy that we rarely say anything to the people around us, and this is amplified when dealing with strangers in transnational situations (the coffee shop, elevator, car wash, etc...).  When you are interacting with someone look them in the eye and say "please", "thank you", etc...  Maybe add in a compliment about their work product, their appearance, or something else they are doing well that makes them stand out.

3.  Look up from your phone.  Get beyond thinking that important things are happening constantly in your email or you Instagram feed.  Put the phone down and be present with the other people.  When you are talking to someone one-to-one do not put your eyes on your phone during that conversation.  Nobody appreciates being ingnored.  We call it rude when other do this, but when we do it ourselves we call it "multi-tasking".  Sorry, it is rude.

4. RSVP and show up on time.  Somewhere along the line we forgot that we are supposed to respond to invitations and then do what we said we were going to do.  Respect other people's time.  Be militant about your schedule and show up when you say you will attend.  

5.  Make gratitude your secret weapon.  When someone gives you a gift or does you a favor, make sure you thank them in a proper manner.  A text that reads "THX" may or may not be the right answer.  Know this: No matter what you do, if you take a shortcut to show gratitude the other person will know it.  

Being rude or aloof should not be acceptable in the course of your day.  It takes no more time to be polite, attentive and aware.  Those who embrace these small actions will have more wins in the long run.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

PCMA Convening Leaders and The Morning "Pre-Note" (like a Keynote, but earlier)

If you are going to this year's PCMA (Professional Convention Managers Association) Convening Leaders event in Vancouver, I know you are getting excited.  In just a few days several thousand people will gather to learn, share, network and grow their understanding of the trends in the meetings business.

I am excited to be involved again this year.  I spoke in the Learning Lounge four years ago and was impressed with the agenda and the people who were present.  There is a real excitement about this event, and Vancouver is an awesome city.

This year I am going to be part of the "Morning Orientation" that will take place before the daily general session.  Before going to hear the "Keynote" people have the opportunity to come to a "Pre-Note" during breakfast.  These sessions will co-hosted with Kelly Peacy, the senior vice president of education and meetings for PCMA, and we promise everyone will learn and meet others.

In the past years on Sunday night there has been a "First Timers Reception" where Kelly has shared special information about the Convening Leaders event and encouraged networking for the hundreds who are present for the first time.  But since the event kicks off on Monday, the NFL Playoffs on Sunday night have been a conflict.  Plus, the information about the unique experience PCMA has planned over the coming days is not just for newcomers.  Everyone can benefit from learning about the methodology behind all the cool things on the agenda.

PCMA prides itself on always trying something different.  Thus in place of the 1st Timers party, there will be a daily "Morning Orientation" that will combine information about what is planned for the day, along with a high energy and interactive session.  Kelly will share the the ideas and concepts for the day, and then turn it over to me to kick off with my "Pre-Note" session.  My charge is to get people pumped up for the day, give them valuable information, and to help them make a new friend each morning!

Schedule for the Daily Pre-Note at the Morning Orientation

Monday:  How to Maximize the Conference.  For first timers, or anyone, a key part of getting the most from a live event is the networking, but often people fail to get the most they can from attending an event.  Regardless of if someone is an extrovert of an introvert, we will discuss ways to make connections that matter and how to have more fun.  

Tuesday: Creating a Culture of Connection.  Meeting professionals always want to make sure that their attendees get the most from attending their events.  This workshop style conversation will be highly interactive and we will tap into the brilliance in the room to share the best ideas on setting the tone for networking at any event.

Wednesday: What is the Best Thing You Learned at PCMA 2016.  With so many sessions, nobody can attend them all.  This facilitated discussion will get people thinking about what they learned and how they will use it when they get back to to their office.  Come and share your best "Ah Ha" moment from Convening Leaders.

Below is the interview I conducted with Kelly Peacy on the "Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do" Podcast.  She talks about her 15+ year career at PCMA and we discuss the 2016 Convening Leaders event.   You have to take some time and hear this podcast chat. 



If you are going to be at the Convening Leaders event, please attend the "Morning Orientation" every day and come and say "HELLO".  I am looking forward to meeting you.

Have A Great Day

thom singer
www.ThomSinger.com

***Check out my new website that will launch on January 6, 2016..

What is a Pre-Note??

"What exactly is a PRE-NOTE?".... I hear that a lot.

I speak or serve in the role of the master of ceremonies at many corporate and association events.  I am known as the "The Conference Catalyst", which can be a traditional keynote presentation, but can also be morphed to meet the needs of any event that desires to create a culture of connection at their conference.  

Sometimes organizations that hire me already have their keynote speakers set up when they discover me, or they only use celebrities or industry celebrities in the keynote slots.  In these cases there still may be a way to fit me into their program.

So I created the "PRE-NOTE".  The pre-note takes place before the main presentations and sets the tone for the whole event.  When and how the pre-note happens is customized for each client and their individual agenda.

• The PRE-NOTE happens before the opening reception the night before the conference kicks off. 

• The PRE-NOTE happens for 20 - 25 minutes at the start of the General Session before the headlining keynote presentation.

• The PRE-NOTE happens as an optional session during breakfast each morning of the conference.

If your conference organizers are seeking a unique way to set the tone for better engagement at the event and if your team is not shy about trying something out-of-the-box that is not a "cookie cutter" speech, look at fitting the "Conference Catalyst PRE-NOTE" into your agenda.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

www.ThomSinger.com

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com 

Hiding Sadness from Yourself

I recently had a situation that made me have to explore my feelings (admittedly I don't do this often enough), and found that while I am historically a very happy person, I have been masking real sadness for several years.  I was surprised, as I had done such a good job of hiding the reality of my feeling, that even I did not see the extent of my inner blues.

I am not going to share the details of the underlying situation, but the reality of my sadness hit me like a ton of bricks.  It knocked me over. I mentioned being "sad" in a conversation with my wife, and then I could not stop thinking about how true that statement was.... not only about the current conversation, but overall.  Just answering that way was out of character, as I usually say "fine" or "good". Looking back this had been the case for so long it was embarrassing to me that I would have been this sad and never said the words out loud.  How could this be true?  

Could a person have "Hidden Sadness"?  I began to research and it turns out a lot of people have feelings like this that range from mild to severe, and even those with higher levels of depression will commonly mask their feelings from others and themselves.  I want to be clear my own situation is not dire, and I respect that some deal with serious depression and other issues.  My feelings were mild enough that I was able to blow past them and function without much pain, but they have been there for so long that it was like an "ah ha" moment when I saw that sadness had been with me for years and had taken root inside of me.

I nervously laughed as I read the signs of people with sadness and how they compensate and cover up their feelings.  Turns out this is very real and I had allowed this to go unnoticed and untreated for so long that it had become part of me.  I would identify myself as an up-beat and happy person, and this label kept me from being able to deal with the issue, so I masked it and went on with life.

My first reaction was to place blame on others for these feelings. I am clear on where others had let me down and I identified moments that made me sad.  I wanted to point fingers, but quickly realized that this is not anyone's fault (not even my own).  While hurtful things have happened from the outside, I have to accept that my internal reactions and ways of dealing are the foundation of my feelings over this much time.

I am planning to talk to a professional, as I think this type of thing should not be ignored.  However, the interesting thing is the more I read about sadness and honestly look at my feelings, the lighter the burden has already become.  I did not know the weight of what I was holding inside, but it was there. While I still feel it, there seems to be an opening for real change.

Unbelievable that I could subconsciously host a major cover up from myself.  There have been clues, but nothing that made me take notice.  Clearly it was easier for me to ignore the whole situation and I did so for a long time.

My natural tendency is to not publicly talk about negative and personal issues (apparently even with myself), but after spending hours reading about this subject I believe there must be others who carry this type of chronic sadness around and like me are covering it up.  It was the posts of others sharing openly that allowed me to recognize myself in their stories.  

People are fast to judge and fill in the blanks with their own thoughts and opinions, so I worry some I know will jump to conclusions or judge me for saying this here.  But this is what it is and I am not shying away from it anymore.  In politics they say the cover up is worse than the crime, the same seems true as I work to fire sadness and make room for happiness.  My feelings are what they are, but my inability to admit them has caused me problems, and that is over.

I don't need to have the end game figured out, but I do need to make some changes starting now in my interpretations and expectations.  I cannot expect others to do things I want them to do and waiting for them to change will never produce any results.  I have to work on me.

Since this is New Years Day it seems like a prefect time for a fresh start.  I want 2016 to be a year I look back on with joy.  I am not going to continue to hide.  I hope this resonates with someone out there!!

Have A Great Day

thom singer

How To Change Yourself (It is not easy!!!)

I want to make some big changes in 2016, but it is not easy to recreate yourself and to actually implement a new direction.

Self-realization and creating real "do-overs" is hard on so many levels.  Behaviors and points of view get ingrained and making adjustments is difficult.  Most people are quick to publicly announce the flaws of others and want those to be fixed, but few put the spotlight on themselves.  This internal examination can sting, so we prefer to focus elsewhere.

The blind spots are the worst part.  I try to examine myself, but one simply cannot see your own shortcomings (and it is not fun to find the flaws).  When others say things (to my face or behind my back) I try to accept it as input information.  My desire is to be slow to anger and fast to forgive towards other people and to see if there is anything I can learn from in their critiques.

In dealing with professional and personal challenges the last few years I have become aware of areas I would like to improve.  I really have a deep desire to be more effective at my work and in life and to serve the people I encounter.  There is hurt inside when you know you have failed in some manner.  

A difficulty in taking on personal change is that you cannot do it alone, and yet others are not really able to help.  Most people in your life will not realize the change.  If they do you will not always appreciate that they do see your efforts as positive.  Too often when people have judged you and have an opinion, they will not give you a second chance.  

For me, in seeking personal growth, it is clear that I must get the validation of my efforts from inside.  If I expect others to congratulate me for my efforts then I will be constantly disappointed.  The motivation for my change must be 100% inside.

This process, to be successful, means I have to be surrounded with others who seek to grow and change.  The people you associate with have a huge impact on the person you become.  I have been fortunate throughout my life to have some people around me who exemplified support and encouragement.  But I have also had some relationships that were toxic.  An inventory of who you spend time with is paramount to success.

In reading about change, most who write about this are clear to point out that you will have times when you slip back into old patterns.  Being a human being is not easy, and ego and emotions cloud the whole process.  I am guilty of this, and I need to get over myself.

I am launching the "Cool Things Project" in January.  This group coaching program is a spin off from my "Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do" podcast, and am seeking to facilitate and ongoing group of individuals who are sharing this path to make positive change in their lives.  I am hoping as I work to better my own journey, I can also be someone who creates a community of people who will be a support system to all involved.

I am excited about 2016.  Challenged, but excited.  

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Goals and Other "Cool Things"

Each year I take some time between Christmas Day and New Years Day to contemplate my goals.  I have always been a goal setter (with some positive results in achieving them, too), and as I prepare for 2016 I am newly motivated to go for the big accomplishments.

Getting older has taken away some of my youthful optimism, and over time I have had less enthusiasm for chasing my dreams.  Working for myself has left me bruised and feeling alone, and that has taken a bite into my soul from time to time.  But that is about to change.  There are so many things that I am ready to accomplish, and getting back that spark for achievement is on the top of my list.

In conversations with other "solopreneurs" there seems to be common feeling of isolated in your efforts.  There are a limited number of people you can talk to about your career aspirations.  Too many do not share the internal drive to do what it takes in business, and that is why I have found identifying supportive friends and creating mastermind groups to be so important.  One needs to find their "people" who share similar interests.  When you are surrounded by people who are dismissive of your inner-self and do not share your goals, it makes the journey much more difficult.

My first goal is to launch the "Cool Things Project", a group coaching program that is spinning out of conversations with listeners to my "Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do" podcast.  Many solopreneurs have shared their feelings of wanting to share their internal ambitions within a supportive environment.  I have talked about this group for months, and it is time to take action, even if there are only 3 members in the launch.  Getting a group of people to have regular conversations about their goals, efforts and successes in business will have a positive impact in all I do (and it will serve others, too).

With so many goals in 2016 and the need to excel, I have to also make my health a major priority.  Eating right, sleeping, and more exercise are all part of the plan in the new year.  As I close in on 50-years-old I want to ensure that I am taking care of myself.  Being clear that youth was wasted on being young is the first step for my new path.  I am excited to have the life experience and perspective that come along with a half-century on this planet, but must be realistic about the downside that comes with those years.

I have a longer than usual list of professional and personal goals in 2016, and this is going to mean changing many things I do in my day-to-day life.  Change is not easy and takes a lot of personal commitment.  These new directions mean I must work hard, but I will also have more fun and discover the success I so deeply desire.

How about you?  Feeling stuck?  What are your goals to get beyond the blah situations and achieve your full potential?  Settling for the middle is so not okay in 2016.  Get your goals on track and let's do this. 

Have A Great Day.

thom singer