There is a disconnect between what people want and what they have. Human beings are seekers. We seek more money, love, spirituality, adventure, sex, knowledge, experiences, etc...
In discussions with clients I am discovering that many people are frustrated. The economy seems to be in a holding pattern of uncertainty, and the lack of options have many people feeling stuck. It has been over two years of economic uncertainty, and for most of us that is the first time we have lived through this type of financial downturn.
We have become conditioned to fast results. The recent political election goes beyond the politics of left vs. right. People do not change ideology in an instant, but instead they are looking for the quick fix and assume new leadership in Congress will bring new results.
Employees are frustrated with their companies. If they have survived this long through the rough times, they are more than ready to see some of the good times return. They want to go seek something new, but the reality of their obligations and the lack of job options mean they cannot make a change. Too many are just going through the motions.
Employers see the situation differently, but they too are frustrated. Business owners and managers want to grow their companies, and most have already made deep cuts in spending to keep afloat. They are left with options. They have tried to save their way to prosperity by not investing in advertising, sales incentives, marketing, client development, etc.... In the end, you cannot save your way to growth. Plus, employees miss the good times when every penny was not being pinched. The owners and managers miss those times too!
Focus on a task or hiding in a cubicle is not the path to seek a route out of frustration. Those who want to make a real change must get off their butt and engage in their community. All opportunities come from people, and directly or indirectly, if you want to find "more" you must come out into the light.
I suggest people take advantage of the end of the year to network and volunteer like their life depend on it (because it does). The holiday season brings with it many opportunities to engage with other people at parties and other events. It also presents the chance to serve others in your community who are in need.
If you want to start your 2011 with a new sense of empowerment, make two new friends and help two people (or organizations) who are in need. When you take the attention off your own situation and begin interacting with others (and listening and learning), it can take you away from the frustrations that seem so overwhelming.
Give it a try and let me know how it works.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Showing posts with label Figuring Things Out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Figuring Things Out. Show all posts
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Sunday, August 16, 2009
We Are Not Alone
Those who seek to understand the power of networking go through many stages of self-discovery. Much of the draw of having a network is about self. We witness those who are well-connected living on the receiving end of opportunities and we desire to have others help us achieve success. We network to get.
Eventually we learn that to get, we must give. It is hard for some to realize this, and with busy schedules and life commitments they shy away from networking as they cannot see the short term value in dedicating time and resources to serving others. Giving takes time. Time is a precious commodity.
The important lesson to learn is that all parts of our lives are a journey, including cultivating personal and professional relationships with others. While it takes time, it cannot be avoided if we want to achieve all that we can. Building a network is not like building a house. Once it is built you cannot walk away from the solid structure. The foundation of your network is directly tied to other people, and thus always in flux.
When one person holds the relationship dear only for their own gain, there are flaws in the structure of the network. Selfish networking exists when a scarcity mentality is dominant. If there is only a certain amount of success to be divided, each person will grab all they can get. But when we wake up each day knowing that there is unlimited opportunities and who gets the prizes will change from day to day, we can easily embrace assisting those around us to find victory.... as we can be sure that our time on top will come as well.
When we live in an ecosystem of givers, everyone will prosper.
Being a "giver" can be uncomfortable for some people who have always felt that others were out to take advantage of them. They feel vulnerable. It can take a long time for people to change their mindset, and to do so they must expose themselves to the right type of people who care about their success... and then take a leap of faith.
This perceptual shift in the brain will allow everyone to live an extraordinary life of abundance. I believe this is possible and that we are all capable of living in communities of contribution. It is not about finding happiness or constantly being blissful (constant joy is not going to happen) -- but is more in tune with finding your potential and helping others reach their own goals and dreams. Impacting the greater good for the universe has power.
If you have never thought about the greater purpose of networking, spend some time looking at how all people are connected and can positively change the world for the better, if they choose to do so. All opportunities come from people, so people matter in your life.
Finding balance between the needs of self and the pull of our commitments while making a difference in the world has forever been part of the human condition. Those who succeed in this are the ones who know at their core that they are not alone. Nobody is an island, and we are here to help each other win the prizes we seek.
Look at your own journey and uncover the ways that it is joined to the journey of others. Be still in your own mind and allow the connections to how you impact others become clear. The directions to how you can be the catalyst to boost other people are visible if you take the time to look for the clues.
You lead by example. If you are outwardly giving, others will see your efforts. It is hard to get past self-focus, especially in tough economic times. With so much uncertainty it is natural to circle the wagons and protect what we have. Hunkering down until the recovery has been the mantra of many, but I do not think this is the best answer.
Look for somebody in your circle of influence and give to them. It can be a small boost that launches them into the stratosphere. You need not abandon your own goals and responsibilities to help others. Even kind words of encouragement and praise can make the difference.
Take joy in the successes of others and most of them will do the same when they see you triumph. For those who are not on board with celebrating your successes or that of others, do not fret about them (you cannot change them). Be grateful for those in your life who do share your abundance mentality and realize you have your success because they are part of your life!
Have A Great Day.
thom
Eventually we learn that to get, we must give. It is hard for some to realize this, and with busy schedules and life commitments they shy away from networking as they cannot see the short term value in dedicating time and resources to serving others. Giving takes time. Time is a precious commodity.
The important lesson to learn is that all parts of our lives are a journey, including cultivating personal and professional relationships with others. While it takes time, it cannot be avoided if we want to achieve all that we can. Building a network is not like building a house. Once it is built you cannot walk away from the solid structure. The foundation of your network is directly tied to other people, and thus always in flux.
When one person holds the relationship dear only for their own gain, there are flaws in the structure of the network. Selfish networking exists when a scarcity mentality is dominant. If there is only a certain amount of success to be divided, each person will grab all they can get. But when we wake up each day knowing that there is unlimited opportunities and who gets the prizes will change from day to day, we can easily embrace assisting those around us to find victory.... as we can be sure that our time on top will come as well.
When we live in an ecosystem of givers, everyone will prosper.
Being a "giver" can be uncomfortable for some people who have always felt that others were out to take advantage of them. They feel vulnerable. It can take a long time for people to change their mindset, and to do so they must expose themselves to the right type of people who care about their success... and then take a leap of faith.
This perceptual shift in the brain will allow everyone to live an extraordinary life of abundance. I believe this is possible and that we are all capable of living in communities of contribution. It is not about finding happiness or constantly being blissful (constant joy is not going to happen) -- but is more in tune with finding your potential and helping others reach their own goals and dreams. Impacting the greater good for the universe has power.
If you have never thought about the greater purpose of networking, spend some time looking at how all people are connected and can positively change the world for the better, if they choose to do so. All opportunities come from people, so people matter in your life.
Finding balance between the needs of self and the pull of our commitments while making a difference in the world has forever been part of the human condition. Those who succeed in this are the ones who know at their core that they are not alone. Nobody is an island, and we are here to help each other win the prizes we seek.
Look at your own journey and uncover the ways that it is joined to the journey of others. Be still in your own mind and allow the connections to how you impact others become clear. The directions to how you can be the catalyst to boost other people are visible if you take the time to look for the clues.
You lead by example. If you are outwardly giving, others will see your efforts. It is hard to get past self-focus, especially in tough economic times. With so much uncertainty it is natural to circle the wagons and protect what we have. Hunkering down until the recovery has been the mantra of many, but I do not think this is the best answer.
Look for somebody in your circle of influence and give to them. It can be a small boost that launches them into the stratosphere. You need not abandon your own goals and responsibilities to help others. Even kind words of encouragement and praise can make the difference.
Take joy in the successes of others and most of them will do the same when they see you triumph. For those who are not on board with celebrating your successes or that of others, do not fret about them (you cannot change them). Be grateful for those in your life who do share your abundance mentality and realize you have your success because they are part of your life!
Have A Great Day.
thom
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Finding Your Ceiling
How good can you be? What is the premier performance that you can deliver on the playing field of life? Do you give your absolute best in everything?
In his book, "When The Game Stands Tall", author Neil Hayes tells the true story of high school football coach Bob Ladouceur. Ladouceur holds the record for the longest winning streak in football history. De La Salle, the tiny Catholic school in Concord, California won 151 consecutive games from 1992 to 2004, while playing against some of the top football programs in Northern California and beyond.
What is amazing about Bob Ladouceur and "The Streak" of wins is that each year he would have a new team of teenagers who have to work together to find that special spark that would allow them to dominate on the football field. Neil Hayes expertly writes about how this translates to the game of life. The 2002 team, which is profiled in the book, inherited a history - but they were still kids who had to go out and win football games. They had to play at the best levels imaginable. Digging deep as individuals and as a team to carry on the winning tradition of their school.
I was moved by the story, but touched at my soul by the thought of "the ceiling". Wow, I wondered, do I deliver everything at the level of my own ceiling? The answer is often "no", and that is a hard pill to swallow.
Look at your own game of life. Are you giving 100% as a boss, an employee, a husband or wife, a father or mother, a son or daughter, neighbor, friend, volunteer, etc...? We are all lured in by the ease of just giving enough. Viewing those around us and knowing we can easily "get by" with a standard level of effort.
Although I have never played football (or any sport at a top level!), sports are an ideal metaphor for life. We all admire stories of teams like De La Salle, or individual athletes who reach the top of their game. We instinctively respect their natural talent, but it is the extra effort that they put in and the extraordinary commitment to practice that makes them great.
I want to find my ceiling in every area of my life. We are cheating those around us, and ourselves, when we do not give it 100%. If we are unsure of how good we can be, how will any of us deliver that stellar performance that can impact the world?
But the search for that personal excellence is difficult. Time, egos, demanding schedules, expectations of others, and all sorts of things cloud out judgment. Life has a way of throwing a penalty flag from time to time and sending us backward. The pain and fear can make us forget our desire to excel. It is easy to rest on being good enough.
I want to stand tall as a husband, as a father, as a business professional, as a friend, as a brother, as a member of my church and community, and as a person. I want to deliver all of myself to those around me. Yet wanting and doing are not always the same thing.
While I do a good job in all these areas, I have not yet found my ceiling in any of them - and we are approaching half-time. While I don't have Bob Ladouceur waiting for me on the sidelines, I do have my own "coaches" and my own "team" who challenge me to reach inside myself and discover more grit and determination than I ever imagined. For that I am grateful!
Recognizing those around us who are are teams and coaches is sometimes the first step. Acknowledging how we can help each other and then delivering is what makes the difference. We live in a "Lone Ranger" society that champions the accomplishments of the individual, but that is not reality. The cliche that TEAM means "Together Everyone Accomplishes More" is really the truth.
I hope this post makes you think about exploring the heights of your own ceiling. I imagine that performing our lives at that top level is really the nirvana we all seek. Touch Down!
Have A Great Day.
thom
In his book, "When The Game Stands Tall", author Neil Hayes tells the true story of high school football coach Bob Ladouceur. Ladouceur holds the record for the longest winning streak in football history. De La Salle, the tiny Catholic school in Concord, California won 151 consecutive games from 1992 to 2004, while playing against some of the top football programs in Northern California and beyond.
What is amazing about Bob Ladouceur and "The Streak" of wins is that each year he would have a new team of teenagers who have to work together to find that special spark that would allow them to dominate on the football field. Neil Hayes expertly writes about how this translates to the game of life. The 2002 team, which is profiled in the book, inherited a history - but they were still kids who had to go out and win football games. They had to play at the best levels imaginable. Digging deep as individuals and as a team to carry on the winning tradition of their school.
I was moved by the story, but touched at my soul by the thought of "the ceiling". Wow, I wondered, do I deliver everything at the level of my own ceiling? The answer is often "no", and that is a hard pill to swallow.
Look at your own game of life. Are you giving 100% as a boss, an employee, a husband or wife, a father or mother, a son or daughter, neighbor, friend, volunteer, etc...? We are all lured in by the ease of just giving enough. Viewing those around us and knowing we can easily "get by" with a standard level of effort.
Although I have never played football (or any sport at a top level!), sports are an ideal metaphor for life. We all admire stories of teams like De La Salle, or individual athletes who reach the top of their game. We instinctively respect their natural talent, but it is the extra effort that they put in and the extraordinary commitment to practice that makes them great.
I want to find my ceiling in every area of my life. We are cheating those around us, and ourselves, when we do not give it 100%. If we are unsure of how good we can be, how will any of us deliver that stellar performance that can impact the world?
But the search for that personal excellence is difficult. Time, egos, demanding schedules, expectations of others, and all sorts of things cloud out judgment. Life has a way of throwing a penalty flag from time to time and sending us backward. The pain and fear can make us forget our desire to excel. It is easy to rest on being good enough.
I want to stand tall as a husband, as a father, as a business professional, as a friend, as a brother, as a member of my church and community, and as a person. I want to deliver all of myself to those around me. Yet wanting and doing are not always the same thing.
While I do a good job in all these areas, I have not yet found my ceiling in any of them - and we are approaching half-time. While I don't have Bob Ladouceur waiting for me on the sidelines, I do have my own "coaches" and my own "team" who challenge me to reach inside myself and discover more grit and determination than I ever imagined. For that I am grateful!
Recognizing those around us who are are teams and coaches is sometimes the first step. Acknowledging how we can help each other and then delivering is what makes the difference. We live in a "Lone Ranger" society that champions the accomplishments of the individual, but that is not reality. The cliche that TEAM means "Together Everyone Accomplishes More" is really the truth.
I hope this post makes you think about exploring the heights of your own ceiling. I imagine that performing our lives at that top level is really the nirvana we all seek. Touch Down!
Have A Great Day.
thom
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
PODCAST - "Re-Inventing Yourself in Business and Beyond" - Interview with Cathy Wohlberg-Craig
My latest edition of the "Some Assembly Required Podcast" on the Blog Talk Radio Network is an inteview with Cathy Wohlberg-Craig of WheresMyDamnAnswer.com.
Cathy has seen the highs and lows in both her professional and personal life. After college she took over the family business and burned herself out as the CEO of a multi-million dollar company.
She had money, prestige, and everything she thought she wanted until she looked in the mirror and realized her ladder was against the wrong wall. "I was FAT (over 200 lbs fat)/ conflicted / lonely / married to the wrong man and trapped in my career until one 24 hour period changed my life and I never looked back." say Wohlberg-Craig.
Cathy is now happily creating her own path. Please listen to our interview as we talk about how others can re-start their life in business and beyond.
Have A Great Day.
thom
Cathy has seen the highs and lows in both her professional and personal life. After college she took over the family business and burned herself out as the CEO of a multi-million dollar company.
She had money, prestige, and everything she thought she wanted until she looked in the mirror and realized her ladder was against the wrong wall. "I was FAT (over 200 lbs fat)/ conflicted / lonely / married to the wrong man and trapped in my career until one 24 hour period changed my life and I never looked back." say Wohlberg-Craig.
Cathy is now happily creating her own path. Please listen to our interview as we talk about how others can re-start their life in business and beyond.
Have A Great Day.
thom
Monday, August 18, 2008
Mini Adventures Help Us Grow
I have been thinking about how we grow up. Not physically, but more in the scope of our abilities, ambitions, and our individuality. While many of us think we stop growing when we reach our twenties, and finish our education, I believe that we are always expanding. Gosh, I hope I am expanding (and not my belt size), for is we are not growing, we are dying.
My eleven-year-old was off on an adventure last week. I put her on an airplane to fly alone to visit some friends and some family in Northern California. Before she departed I was talking to her about the things she needed to be aware of traveling alone and as a house guest. At one point she said "Enough Dad. If I was not ready, you would never have allowed me to go in the first place".
Dang.
She was right. We gave her this trip as a reward for completing her four year martial arts training. Any kid who could accomplish earning a black belt can fly alone on Southwest Airlines. Plus, the airlines do a good job of monitoring the kids under 12 (apparently over 12 they are left on their own, not sure I like that policy.... she may not be going anywhere else for a while), so she was never really "alone".
While she was in California I spoke to her Godfather and later her uncle, whose families she was visiting, but never directly with her. Seems she was always too busy when I called. I knew this was her way of exploring her independence, so I did not press the issue of making her come to the phone. She was showing her mother and me that she was growing up. I had to accept this, as I want her to mature.
I vividly remember being 11-years-old and spending a weekend with my older brother, who was in college. It felt so grown up to fly alone and not have mom and dad around for a few days. Thus, I respect her needing to take this milestone in her own way.
I am a shameless hovering parent, and not overseeing her in all activities was a leap for me. But I knew she was safe, and beyond that I had to just let her stretch herself to the next level.
As my kid found on her adventure, stepping out of our comfort zone and succeeding brings with it new feelings of accomplishment... all of us "grown-ups" should always be on the look out for ways to expand.
I could see the difference as soon as she got off the plane. She had a great time, but beyond that she understood that she can make it on her own....someday! In the mean time, we are glad to have our little bird back in the nest, and she is happy to be home.
How about you, what is your mini-adventure and how will it help you grow?
Have A Great Day.
thom
My eleven-year-old was off on an adventure last week. I put her on an airplane to fly alone to visit some friends and some family in Northern California. Before she departed I was talking to her about the things she needed to be aware of traveling alone and as a house guest. At one point she said "Enough Dad. If I was not ready, you would never have allowed me to go in the first place".
Dang.
She was right. We gave her this trip as a reward for completing her four year martial arts training. Any kid who could accomplish earning a black belt can fly alone on Southwest Airlines. Plus, the airlines do a good job of monitoring the kids under 12 (apparently over 12 they are left on their own, not sure I like that policy.... she may not be going anywhere else for a while), so she was never really "alone".
While she was in California I spoke to her Godfather and later her uncle, whose families she was visiting, but never directly with her. Seems she was always too busy when I called. I knew this was her way of exploring her independence, so I did not press the issue of making her come to the phone. She was showing her mother and me that she was growing up. I had to accept this, as I want her to mature.
I vividly remember being 11-years-old and spending a weekend with my older brother, who was in college. It felt so grown up to fly alone and not have mom and dad around for a few days. Thus, I respect her needing to take this milestone in her own way.
I am a shameless hovering parent, and not overseeing her in all activities was a leap for me. But I knew she was safe, and beyond that I had to just let her stretch herself to the next level.
As my kid found on her adventure, stepping out of our comfort zone and succeeding brings with it new feelings of accomplishment... all of us "grown-ups" should always be on the look out for ways to expand.
I could see the difference as soon as she got off the plane. She had a great time, but beyond that she understood that she can make it on her own....someday! In the mean time, we are glad to have our little bird back in the nest, and she is happy to be home.
How about you, what is your mini-adventure and how will it help you grow?
Have A Great Day.
thom
Friday, August 15, 2008
101 Personal and Professional Goals
I once heard Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, tell an audience to spell out in writing 101 goals that they would like to accomplish in their lifetime.
While I was in the audience, and his talk was motivational, I did not scribble down 101 desires.
I am however a big believer in having written goals. Each year I spell out a few personal, professional and spiritual (soul goals) to strive for over the coming 12 months. I know that having these in front of me makes it easier for me to make the right choices when facing life. I can look back at all the mistakes I have made, and it is clear that in those moments I was not staying true to my life's goals and missions.
Having goals in your line of sight keeps you on track. Like the bumpers they put in the bowling lane gutters for small kids, goals keep you in the middle so you can knock down the pins.
Recently I decided to pick up a pen and spell out 101 things I want to do in my life. I have always found it easy in the New Year to write down a few key goals, but discovered that 101 is a very, very large number.
It has taken me a few months to get the list over 85, but I am now closing in on the end of my list. Since beginning of writing this list I have already had the opportunity to complete (or set in motion) items which I desire to accomplish.
Some of these goals are obvious, others are more far fetched.... but all are attainable in some manner over the next 50 years. Spending the time to uncover some random goals is a great way to help you figure things out and know what you find cool in the world.
I think you will be amazed by trying to create a list of 101 things you want to do in life. Maybe you will have an easy go of this task, or like me, maybe you will struggle to make sure that the things you write down are meaningful to you and your family.
Yes, one big random goal is I would like to be invited to spend the night in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House. Now, I do not expect this to happen anytime soon, which means that an unknown future president will need to make the invite.... but I am confident that this COULD happen, so I just need to be on the outlook for the opportunity.
Have A Great Day.
And if you are ever elected to the presidency in the United States, remember me!
thom
While I was in the audience, and his talk was motivational, I did not scribble down 101 desires.
I am however a big believer in having written goals. Each year I spell out a few personal, professional and spiritual (soul goals) to strive for over the coming 12 months. I know that having these in front of me makes it easier for me to make the right choices when facing life. I can look back at all the mistakes I have made, and it is clear that in those moments I was not staying true to my life's goals and missions.
Having goals in your line of sight keeps you on track. Like the bumpers they put in the bowling lane gutters for small kids, goals keep you in the middle so you can knock down the pins.
Recently I decided to pick up a pen and spell out 101 things I want to do in my life. I have always found it easy in the New Year to write down a few key goals, but discovered that 101 is a very, very large number.
It has taken me a few months to get the list over 85, but I am now closing in on the end of my list. Since beginning of writing this list I have already had the opportunity to complete (or set in motion) items which I desire to accomplish.
Some of these goals are obvious, others are more far fetched.... but all are attainable in some manner over the next 50 years. Spending the time to uncover some random goals is a great way to help you figure things out and know what you find cool in the world.
I think you will be amazed by trying to create a list of 101 things you want to do in life. Maybe you will have an easy go of this task, or like me, maybe you will struggle to make sure that the things you write down are meaningful to you and your family.
Yes, one big random goal is I would like to be invited to spend the night in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House. Now, I do not expect this to happen anytime soon, which means that an unknown future president will need to make the invite.... but I am confident that this COULD happen, so I just need to be on the outlook for the opportunity.
Have A Great Day.
And if you are ever elected to the presidency in the United States, remember me!
thom
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Sorting Through Stuff
My brothers and I are sorting through some old family "stuff".
My dad has moved to a smaller place, leaving behind a lot of things that need to be divided up or sold. While this has it tough moments, on another level -- sorting through my parents life has been very therapeutic.
The hardest thing to realize is that after a lifetime, much of the possessions that we acquire are just things. Their monetary value pales to the sentimental value, and in all cases it is just stuff.
I look at my own life. I am not even half the age of my father, and I imagine that someone going through my personal belongings would roll their eyes and say "Huh??? Why did he save this?"
I had imagined that I would want to take a lot of things back with me to Texas. I am the only kid in my family raised in the house my father lived in for the past thirty years, and my bedroom remains much as it did when I left for college 24 years ago.
Dad was widowed only a few years after we moved into this house, and little has been added since my mother passed away. Sure, some replacement furniture and other items...but most of the that we sorted had also belonged to mom.
I had thought I might have a stronger attachment to trinkets and little knickknacks. While there were some major items that we each wanted to take for ourselves (fortunately there were no arguments), it turns out that most things are just things. I realized that if I took stuff home, much of it sit in boxes until my own children had to one day sort through them.
Better to take only a couple of items that will have strong emotional meaning in my heart.
A co-worker told me that a few years ago her father gave her a holiday gift that consisted of a photo of him standing in the empty attic after he had purged his house of boxes of stuff. The caption read "You are welcome". He had made sure that one day when he passed there would not be too much to sort out.
Fortunately, my parents were not pack rats, so there was not much to do, and my siblings and I have the time over the long weekend to enjoy each others company.
But I had an "ah ha" moment with all of this. Collecting all that we acquire day to day is nice, but we must keep it in perspective. The things around us are important to us, not necessarily anyone else. One day my stuff will be sold on ebay.
And this is not a bad thing. It is a reminder to me to cherish and enjoy all that I have in the moment. Believing that stuff has a deeper meaning is misguided. What I hold dear in my heart is not a Waterford Crystal goblet or my dad's bowling trophy, but rather it is the memories of the joy and love that these two people exposed me to from the first days of my life.
I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes because I know in my soul how fortunate I have been to be part of this family. I look at my older brothers (yes, much older!) and appreciate them. No trinket is worth more.
Have A Great Day.
thom
My dad has moved to a smaller place, leaving behind a lot of things that need to be divided up or sold. While this has it tough moments, on another level -- sorting through my parents life has been very therapeutic.
The hardest thing to realize is that after a lifetime, much of the possessions that we acquire are just things. Their monetary value pales to the sentimental value, and in all cases it is just stuff.
I look at my own life. I am not even half the age of my father, and I imagine that someone going through my personal belongings would roll their eyes and say "Huh??? Why did he save this?"
I had imagined that I would want to take a lot of things back with me to Texas. I am the only kid in my family raised in the house my father lived in for the past thirty years, and my bedroom remains much as it did when I left for college 24 years ago.
Dad was widowed only a few years after we moved into this house, and little has been added since my mother passed away. Sure, some replacement furniture and other items...but most of the that we sorted had also belonged to mom.
I had thought I might have a stronger attachment to trinkets and little knickknacks. While there were some major items that we each wanted to take for ourselves (fortunately there were no arguments), it turns out that most things are just things. I realized that if I took stuff home, much of it sit in boxes until my own children had to one day sort through them.
Better to take only a couple of items that will have strong emotional meaning in my heart.
A co-worker told me that a few years ago her father gave her a holiday gift that consisted of a photo of him standing in the empty attic after he had purged his house of boxes of stuff. The caption read "You are welcome". He had made sure that one day when he passed there would not be too much to sort out.
Fortunately, my parents were not pack rats, so there was not much to do, and my siblings and I have the time over the long weekend to enjoy each others company.
But I had an "ah ha" moment with all of this. Collecting all that we acquire day to day is nice, but we must keep it in perspective. The things around us are important to us, not necessarily anyone else. One day my stuff will be sold on ebay.
And this is not a bad thing. It is a reminder to me to cherish and enjoy all that I have in the moment. Believing that stuff has a deeper meaning is misguided. What I hold dear in my heart is not a Waterford Crystal goblet or my dad's bowling trophy, but rather it is the memories of the joy and love that these two people exposed me to from the first days of my life.
I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes because I know in my soul how fortunate I have been to be part of this family. I look at my older brothers (yes, much older!) and appreciate them. No trinket is worth more.
Have A Great Day.
thom
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Reality Check
Part of "Figuring Things Out" in life is realizing that you are not in control of everything. We try hard to create a feeling of control, but in the end, there are things that happen where we cannot manipulate the outcome that remind us of how small we are in the universe.
This week has been difficult; my dad is in the hospital, my favorite aunt passed away and one of my best friends was hit by a drunk driver (he is okay).
WAMMO. I live 2000 miles away, and feel helpless.
WAMMO. I live 2000 miles away, and feel helpless.
My aunt was a fun lady who often took care of me when I was a little kid. What I remember most was how she would humor me when I was three-year-old by setting an extra place at the table for my two imaginary friends, Chucky and Margo, and would always have "real" peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on a plate for them.
My friend was minding his own business at 3:30 PM when his car was hit at 65 MPH by a drunk. While he and his passengers have only minor injuries, it was still too close for comfort.
My friend was minding his own business at 3:30 PM when his car was hit at 65 MPH by a drunk. While he and his passengers have only minor injuries, it was still too close for comfort.
The good news is that the bumps in the road of life tend to make us stronger and help us develop our character. We also learn much good about the people around us who seem to make the tough times easier with a smile, a hug, a prayer, etc....
As I look at all the things on my calendar that I should be doing this week, they suddenly do not seem as important as being with my dad, honoring my aunt Catherine at her memorial service and catching up with an old friend.
As I look at all the things on my calendar that I should be doing this week, they suddenly do not seem as important as being with my dad, honoring my aunt Catherine at her memorial service and catching up with an old friend.
thom
Thursday, May 29, 2008
The Mini Self Pep Talk
When you are trying to improve, you can't sit still. Success never grows on a rock, instead you need to find ways to keep yourself motivated and moving toward your goals.
This involves giving yourself an occasional "pep talk". I don't have many days when I want to pull the covers over my head and not get out of bed, but they do happen. The trick that I have adopted that keeps me going everyday is the "wake up thought". I wrote about this in January 2007, and utilize the focusing of my brain on the positive aspects of the day before my feet hit the ground.
As soon as I wake up I concentrate on how fortunate I am to have a great family, to have a job that challenges me, to have the chance to write books and speak to business audiences around the country (I woke up in Denver today after speaking last night)...I remind myself that the day ahead will be outstanding. I imagine the opportunities that I will have to experience a great day.
This mini pep talk is all I need to jump up and start my day.
Try this yourself for one week. Begin your day by looking at what will make it awesome. God knows, there is enough negativity in the world to drag down an elephant .... but if you look for the fantastic, then you will find it every time.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
This involves giving yourself an occasional "pep talk". I don't have many days when I want to pull the covers over my head and not get out of bed, but they do happen. The trick that I have adopted that keeps me going everyday is the "wake up thought". I wrote about this in January 2007, and utilize the focusing of my brain on the positive aspects of the day before my feet hit the ground.
As soon as I wake up I concentrate on how fortunate I am to have a great family, to have a job that challenges me, to have the chance to write books and speak to business audiences around the country (I woke up in Denver today after speaking last night)...I remind myself that the day ahead will be outstanding. I imagine the opportunities that I will have to experience a great day.
This mini pep talk is all I need to jump up and start my day.
Try this yourself for one week. Begin your day by looking at what will make it awesome. God knows, there is enough negativity in the world to drag down an elephant .... but if you look for the fantastic, then you will find it every time.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
Monday, May 19, 2008
Life 2.0
I feel it is time to look for fresh perspectives on how to make things happen at work, home, spiritually, in my community and in my head.
No, I am not having a mid-life crisis. I am not talking about chucking it all and moving to a remote cabin to write a manifesto. I have not embraced some harmonic convergence of the third kind. This is not a bad thing.
Personally a major sea change is happening, and I can let it pass me by or embrace what will be a meaningful directional shift that will allow me to find ways to make a better impact on all areas of my world. I think these come along from time to time, and we can either ignore them or go with the flow of discovery.
I am not even sure exactly what changes I am looking to make, but I do know that I am feeling more confident than I have in a long time. With such confidence comes the ability to take actions toward being more than I was yesterday. When I was young I never questioned myself or the future possibilities. Not that with age came doubts, but responsibilities can bring a plethora of fears that can stifle. One does not want to mess up a good thing!
I am now looking to be more productive, engaged and excellent in all that I do. I am corralling my focus to ensure that I have an impact on others and that my time is not wasted on the mediocre. This is easy to consider, difficult to execute.
This is a common desire, because the most dynamic people seem to instinctively share this feeling. Distractions are abundant and can imprison that intestinal gumption that makes one strive to figure things out at a higher level. But we can all get past the mundane distractions and get on out path when we are aware of our goals and direction.
Dr. Stewart Friedman of The Wharton School (whom I met last week) teaches that you have to assess own life situation and align your actions with your values. A person who wants to accomplish more in any area must focus on achieving better results in all parts of their life. Spending too much time on any one thing will through the whole person out of whack and rob them of their potential.
When Wall Street guru Warren Buffett of the famed Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. makes an investment in a company, he looks for an organization that is undervalued, but has unusually good potential for growth. This strategy has lead him to the top of the investment world. I think anyone who wants to embrace personal growth needs to see them self in the same manner: undervalued, but with an intrinsic value for achieving future successes that are beyond current performance (As opposed to the "book value" of a business, the intrinsic value is the value of a business' ongoing operations).
So here we go. While this is not new, as I always strive to create a better life for myself and those around me, this is a construction project like no other. The raw materials are here, it is now my challenge to assemble them. Some Assembly is Required to achieve anything outstanding and inspiring.
This whole adventure should be fun. Especially because I do not go into it alone. I have a number of people in my life who support me in my quest. Equally important to those in my inner circle are those who regularly read my books and blog. This journey we take together, as my writing has become an extension of myself, so all readers are part of the process. The people who read my books and blog have become an important part of my extended network. I welcome you comments about constructing Life 2.0.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
No, I am not having a mid-life crisis. I am not talking about chucking it all and moving to a remote cabin to write a manifesto. I have not embraced some harmonic convergence of the third kind. This is not a bad thing.
Personally a major sea change is happening, and I can let it pass me by or embrace what will be a meaningful directional shift that will allow me to find ways to make a better impact on all areas of my world. I think these come along from time to time, and we can either ignore them or go with the flow of discovery.
I am not even sure exactly what changes I am looking to make, but I do know that I am feeling more confident than I have in a long time. With such confidence comes the ability to take actions toward being more than I was yesterday. When I was young I never questioned myself or the future possibilities. Not that with age came doubts, but responsibilities can bring a plethora of fears that can stifle. One does not want to mess up a good thing!
I am now looking to be more productive, engaged and excellent in all that I do. I am corralling my focus to ensure that I have an impact on others and that my time is not wasted on the mediocre. This is easy to consider, difficult to execute.
This is a common desire, because the most dynamic people seem to instinctively share this feeling. Distractions are abundant and can imprison that intestinal gumption that makes one strive to figure things out at a higher level. But we can all get past the mundane distractions and get on out path when we are aware of our goals and direction.
Dr. Stewart Friedman of The Wharton School (whom I met last week) teaches that you have to assess own life situation and align your actions with your values. A person who wants to accomplish more in any area must focus on achieving better results in all parts of their life. Spending too much time on any one thing will through the whole person out of whack and rob them of their potential.
When Wall Street guru Warren Buffett of the famed Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. makes an investment in a company, he looks for an organization that is undervalued, but has unusually good potential for growth. This strategy has lead him to the top of the investment world. I think anyone who wants to embrace personal growth needs to see them self in the same manner: undervalued, but with an intrinsic value for achieving future successes that are beyond current performance (As opposed to the "book value" of a business, the intrinsic value is the value of a business' ongoing operations).
So here we go. While this is not new, as I always strive to create a better life for myself and those around me, this is a construction project like no other. The raw materials are here, it is now my challenge to assemble them. Some Assembly is Required to achieve anything outstanding and inspiring.
This whole adventure should be fun. Especially because I do not go into it alone. I have a number of people in my life who support me in my quest. Equally important to those in my inner circle are those who regularly read my books and blog. This journey we take together, as my writing has become an extension of myself, so all readers are part of the process. The people who read my books and blog have become an important part of my extended network. I welcome you comments about constructing Life 2.0.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Figuring Things Out - Part Three
While striving to excel is a good thing, you have to remember to not run over other people along the way. You never know how your assistance toward an other's goal could positively impact the world. Do not become so self focused that you fail to see where you can help another person to reach their goals.
Often people are dedicated to their own their tasks that they lose sight of those around them. These people don't necessarily mean to harm or neglect others on purpose, but their dedication to success makes them think that people are a nuance.
But it is hard when under pressure to remember to be observant of the needs of others. I have figured out that those who are truly successful, be it financially, emotionally or spiritually are never jealous. Instead these are the people who go out of their way to lend a hand up to those who are still climbing the latter. Successful people are confident in themselves and are never threatened by the achievements of the next guy.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
Monday, April 21, 2008
Figuring Things Out - Part Two
While always striving to figure things out about life, people discover that some points are clear. Yet, these blinding flashes of the obvious are unique for each one of us. It is what makes us walk together, and yet stroll alone through our lives. One person's "ah ha" is an somebody's mystery.
It is fun to be around motivated and driven people who share a passion for success and understand the power of striving for a goal. Those who are supportive of seeing others succeed
are the spark that makes the world a wonderful place. It is crystal clear to me that associating with those who inspire you will change your future.I recently had the honor of speaking at a conference for the Entrepreneurs Organization. I spent the weekend with these highly driven individuals and was impacted by their energy level and the vision of each of the members. These folk were not just business owners, but creators of commerce. The future is born from the passion of entrepreneurs.
In talking with many of these barons of business was interesting in that they all had little tolerance for excuses and did not know the "fear of failure". Instead they were focused on investing in their future, and understood that success comes to those who work for it and make sacrifices.
"Tireless" was the common thread and "making things happen" was apparently the mantra. This was coupled with a theme of wanting to help see others succeed.... all while having fun along the way.
Attitude and vision make a difference. What is your attitude? What is your vision? Can you articulate them to anyone who asks?
Have A Great Day.
thom
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Figuring Things Out - Part One
I think that many people are striving to figure out their purpose in life. I know I am always looking for more meaning to my daily activities. With all of the pressures of career, family, community, etc... it is easy to get lost in the day to day routine while missing out on smelling the flowers along the way.
The materialism of our society tends to trap people in the cycle of money and things. Houses, cars, clothes, trips, careers, the latest electronic gadgets and the rest are a seductive draw that are nearly impossible to avoid.
I do not have a desire to sell my house and live in a tent and this post is not about renouncing monetary goals. It is just the opposite. It is part of figuring out ones path to know yourself, your dreams and your own desires. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can provide freedom and opportunity.
Many years ago when I was in my early twenties I had run up a large amounts of credit card debt. When my wife and I realized the amount I owed it was stifling. It hurt. It felt as though we were in a cage. Together we restructured our budget and worked hard to eliminate the plastic handcuffs of over use of credit. Since that time we have only spent within our means. Sure, there are things we want, but having those "toys" do not provide freedom.
I am discovering that freedom is the true currency. Having the freedom to discover "self" is the key to experiencing life. With freedom comes confidence....and I know personally that when I am confident I feel as though I am on top of a mountain over looking an unlimited and amazing view. It is as if I am an eagle soaring high over the landscape.
Entrepreneurs live this mindset. Those who can see every situation as just another opportunity have the freedom to excel. I admire those who start and grow businesses and can create income from where there was nothing. The real artists who can face any problem and find an opportunity. Lemonade from lemons.
Does one have to be born with such traits or can they be learned? I think you can learn to be entrepreneurial, but you need to be open to change and growth.... for both you and your company. I see it around me all the time. Many of my friends who own businesses struggle with a variety of issues, but they are nimble and can reassess their environment quickly. Even those who resist change, know that success requires flexibility.
To figure things out one must be open to exploration.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
The materialism of our society tends to trap people in the cycle of money and things. Houses, cars, clothes, trips, careers, the latest electronic gadgets and the rest are a seductive draw that are nearly impossible to avoid.
I do not have a desire to sell my house and live in a tent and this post is not about renouncing monetary goals. It is just the opposite. It is part of figuring out ones path to know yourself, your dreams and your own desires. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can provide freedom and opportunity.
Many years ago when I was in my early twenties I had run up a large amounts of credit card debt. When my wife and I realized the amount I owed it was stifling. It hurt. It felt as though we were in a cage. Together we restructured our budget and worked hard to eliminate the plastic handcuffs of over use of credit. Since that time we have only spent within our means. Sure, there are things we want, but having those "toys" do not provide freedom.
I am discovering that freedom is the true currency. Having the freedom to discover "self" is the key to experiencing life. With freedom comes confidence....and I know personally that when I am confident I feel as though I am on top of a mountain over looking an unlimited and amazing view. It is as if I am an eagle soaring high over the landscape.
Entrepreneurs live this mindset. Those who can see every situation as just another opportunity have the freedom to excel. I admire those who start and grow businesses and can create income from where there was nothing. The real artists who can face any problem and find an opportunity. Lemonade from lemons.
Does one have to be born with such traits or can they be learned? I think you can learn to be entrepreneurial, but you need to be open to change and growth.... for both you and your company. I see it around me all the time. Many of my friends who own businesses struggle with a variety of issues, but they are nimble and can reassess their environment quickly. Even those who resist change, know that success requires flexibility.
To figure things out one must be open to exploration.
Have A Great Day.
thom
www.thomsinger.com
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