Speed Networking

I just wrote a blog post on my website about Speed Networking.

Check it out on my website blog. 

thom

Get More Market Share

Are you looking to grow sales in your company?  Everyone in sales and every entrepreneur comes to a day when they are just fed up with being stuck on a plateau.  They feel it in their heart and soul that they are capable of doing more, and yet they are unsure of how to increase their market share.

You cannot sell more by being alone in a field.  You need to grow your network and your reputation if you want to grow your business.  In the last few years a lot of attention has been put on "Social Selling" and focusing efforts on building the online brand.  But almost everyone I talk to who reaches the highest levels of success does it through getting face-to-face with clients, prospects, and referral sources.

Your network the key to getting more business. Small business growth expert Mark LeBlanc recently gave me a copy of his book "Growing Your Business".  On page 65 he talks about the greatest marketing strategy in the world, which is to create an advocate system.  Create a list of people who are already in your life, and then make sure you are constantly in touch with them.  You have to ensure that these people understand your business and are able to help spread the word about why you are so good at what you do.

The problem we all face is that out of sight is out of mind. If you want to get more business you have to be working your relationships.  It is too easy to get lost in "busy" and never follow up.  Posting on LinkedIn or Facebook does not mean that anyone who matters actually viewed what you said.  Social media is a "best effort" communication tool, which means you made your best effort, but there is no guarantee the message was received and had any impact.

My own efforts to grow my business this year have been sluggish, but I have a new commitment to figuring out how to raise my visibility with the people who can hire me.  This is a key conversation in the "Cool Things Project" group coaching program that I administer.  All who I know who are seeking more and who feel stuck are often caught in a loop.  

I am hiring a coach to help me do this and my plan is to do everything he says for the next 6 months.  I am putting "excuses" on hold and I am just going to take the steps I need to take to boost my bottom line. 

If you want more market share, what are you doing to change up your routine so that you are not just doing the same things that got you onto the plateau where you currently stand?  

People are the key. If you need more people who can guide you, hire a coach or start a mastermind group.  If you need more clients, get yourself out into your "community" and make fresh connections.  Last night I went to a business happy hour sponsored by my local Business Journal and walked out with two real leads that could become clients in the next year.  I usually make the comment that "my business is not local" as an excuse to skip these wine and cheese events, but the first person I talked to was in charge of a large association conference with the need of "The Conference Catalyst".  Ummm, maybe I need to do more networking! 

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Don't "Network" At a Conference.... Bad Business Advice

A piece of advice given to someone going to a conference on an association group chat just struck me as bad advice.  The person said:

"My advice is to be simply real and connect with others as human beings. Don't "network"."

I am not being a jerk or the word police, but the way we use words matters.  "Networking" means creating and cultivating long-term and mutually beneficial relationships. There is nothing in the actual definition that is about being salesy, schoozy, or manipulative in connecting.  However, people have taken to using the word in negative ways to get attention for their points, and it has created a problem in how we teach people to get ahead.

Without thinking through the point of "Don't network" one could make all kinds of career mistakes.  What the well meaning advice giver meant was that people should not look to pounce like a hungry sales wolf on everyone they encounter.  Being pushy or too verbose about your product and service is sure to limit results of connecting at events.  However, when your goal is long-term and mutually beneficial relationships, then asking questions, listening, and helping others will prevail.

Don't let a misuse of words take you off point the next time you go to an event.  Don't be a pushy sales driven and self-focused fool.  But network like crazy.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Here They Go Distorting The Word "NETWORKING" - Again!!!

There is a recent article in Fast Company called "How to Stop Networking and Build Real Relationships" that is all fluff and mirrors.  The author describes "networking" as using people and self-promotion.  This is just wrong.

The definition of networking is "the creations of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships where all people involved in the relationships find more success".  This is not using, in fact it is what he is claiming people should be doing to find business success.

Had this author not abused to word "networking" to fit his needs, his article should have been titled "Stop doing selfish crap and start networking".  Boom.  That would be a good article.

Many people who want attention in the world of teaching business relationship skills like to make networking an evil term.  They either do not understand what it is all about, or worse, they do understand but are manipulating their readers with false truths. 

Creating long-term and mutually beneficial relationships is what they claim to teach.  Instead of writing misleading articles, why not write about how people can stop doing things that undermine their reputation and start serving their communities.  Pinning the problem on a word is silly, as the offenders never see themselves as guilty of doing things wrong.

I wonder why I blogged about this today?  This has been coming up for years, and I watch a parade of self-proclaimed gurus state "I don't network, I connect".  Yeah, yeah --- word manipulation gets attention and gets clicks.  I know.

Here is my advice.  Call it whatever you want, but get over yourself and start helping others find success and you will discover that you have an awesome network (or whatever word you want to insert) that leads you toward success.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

National Convention: Hang with hometown friends or meet new people?

National association conferences are a great way to build industry contacts.  I attend many of these events (as a member, speaker, or master of ceremonies), and I have a pet peeve:  Local chapter meet-ups while at the national conference.

Why fly all the way across the country to attend an event and then sit with or have a private dinner with people from your own city?  This is common at association conventions, and often a waste of time and it undermines the potential ROI you can get from the event  While yes, having good local relationships matters, there are other places you can cultivate those relationships.  

On "dinner on your own night" people gather their local chapter pals and go off to a restaurant to dine.  Or during the awards lunch they populate a table with their friends from home.  This is so common it is almost an epidemic. 

When I gripe about this practice I hear the mantra; "It is the only time we can get together".  Ummm, no.  The convention is the only time you can meet people from all over the world who are present.  There are other times in your own city you can meet up with your local peeps.  It is a choice.    

Life is all about choices and words such as "only time" are neither true nor helpful.  It gives people the excuse to not network with others, and makes many feel obligated to attend.  Some say it helps bond their friendships with local colleagues, but if that was really a priority you could make it happen several times a year.  Yes, yes, everyone is "busy".... but lately the word busy has become the accepted hall pass to justify any behavior.  Ask yourself, is the "busy" label real or an excuse?

I recently talked about this from stage at a conference.  Several people came up and said "Thank You", as they feel obligated to go to dinner when their chapter president makes the invite.  They do not want to appear rude, so they go along with the crowd.  Others did not like my rant, as they said they are more introverted and don't want to meet new people.  OKAY... that is real.  And acceptable.  If this is the reason, say it out loud and let those who want to mingle be free to go elsewhere.

I am a long-time member of the National Speakers Association.  My friends from the Austin Chapter always organize a night out together at the annual convention. I always say "No", and tell them why (this point of view gets re-stated each year).  Many of my local friends have a different opinion, and I respect their right to go dine together (and they accept my going off with others).  I am only at this convention once a year, and each night's activities are a chance to establish connections with people from outside my hometown.

What do you think?

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Why Networking Does Not Work

Many people think networking is great. They love the idea of building long-term and mutually beneficial relationships, and expect to see themselves and the people in their circle discover unparalleled future success.

The problem is that some people are givers, and others are way too self-focused to ever help you win.  Both types of people show up at networking events and have interesting conversations.  They are nearly impossible to tell apart, and over time many believe that they have build mutually beneficial connections with people who want to see them succeed.  When they have a need they are thrilled for your help, and you are excited to help.  In these moments networking seems powerful.

That is until you seek their assistance.  When you finally make the "ask" of others, this is where the wheels can come off the bus.  Too many that you believed were in your corner will ignore your call or make excuses of being "too busy".  It is interesting how long time "friends" disappear when you could use a hand up.

This causes frustration, and many people come to believe that networking does not work.

But it does work.  You just have to set your expectations about the people you meet in a realistic manner.  While you cannot always distinguish the ones who will move mountains for you from those who do not care, you should not punish those who are good networking partners because of those that are not.  

When you reach out for assistance be honest that the other person may not be committed to the "mutual" part of networking.  While they love that you are thinking of ways to help them, they see their own goals as the only ones that matter.  "Busy" is a badge of honor to those with a one-sided view of networking, and you cannot change them.  Move on.

However, when you do see those who agree to help, cherish them.  Honor them.  Let them know they are in the 1% of people who make a difference.  

It is not that networking does not work, it is that all people are not really givers.  When you find a giver, tell them you recognize they are special.  And then BE THERE FOR THEM, too. And if you cannot find a way to serve them... be sure to pay-it-forward!

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Three Ways To Follow Up After A Conference

This post originally appear on August 8, 2011.  It was too good not to share again (2013 edited version)

People attend business conferences and events all the time with the hopes to make meaningful connections.  The meetings business is a huge industry and even through the rough economic years and the increase in online options, there is a plethora of face-to-face gatherings.

A main reason people attend business events is for the "networking opportunities", however once they get there they stink at making meaningful connections.

Worse is when people make a contact at an event they rarely follow up.  Meeting someone once does not make them part of your network.... it makes them someone you met once.  There is a huge difference between having a brief chat at a convention and establishing a long-term and mutually beneficial relationship.

In today's fast-paced and impersonal culture a quickly sent LinkedIn request is often mistaken for an effort to add people to a network.  A social media link is not the same as a friendship that is established through shared experiences.  

To create a real relationship you must have ongoing conversations.  If you want to go beyond just trading information you must "own the follow up".  Meetings are great tools to bring people together, but some conferences invest to create a culture that is more than a few keynotes, breakouts, and meals.  When you are part of something bigger than an "event" you are more excited to follow up with people when you get home.  

Here are a few ideas:

1. Send a handwritten note.  Yes, email is easier and text is concise.  But these communication methods are often part of the ongoing noise that many try to filter out all day.  Many professionals get over 150 emails everyday.  Since so few people send these types of notes they really do stand out.  

2.  Schedule lunch or another activity.  The sooner you get together again the higher the odds you will establish a real friendship. While this works best if you live in the same area, too few people ever take this step even when they work in the same building.  Humans are experiential beings, so when you share experiences you build bonds.

3.  Have a "tele-coffee".  My friend Neen James coined this phrase.... it is where you make coffee in your office, they make coffee in their office across the country (or across the world) and then you have a scheduled conversation via phone or Skype.  This is a great way to have a memorable conversation with those who live far away.

Don't delay in planning for the follow up after a conference (yes, if you want success you need a plan).  The more time that passes they less likely you will ever have any other contact with the people you meet at business events.

What do you do to cultivate the connections you make? 

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Networking Revisited: 3 Ways To Ensure You Get Value From Your Business Relationships

Many folks roll their eyes at the idea of "Networking".  They have come to associate the concept with some uneasy schmoozing or phony butt-kissing activities.  There are consultants and coaches who counsel their clients against networking and instead recommend "connecting" (umm, that is like advising against breathing but instead recommending putting air into your lungs through involuntary and repetitive inhalations and exhalations.  Same thing folks.... changing the words does not matter.  A rose by any other name....).  

I have seen speakers proclaim, "Networking is dead, it is all about connecting!" - Oh Please!  Nice words, but networking is alive and well... and when done correctly it can have a huge impact on your career and the lives of others.  Can call it what you want, but people who are committed to cultivating strong business relationships often have more opportunities.

When asking people for definitions of "networking" one gets a variety of thoughts on the topic.  However, I have found the best description is:

"The creation of long-term and mutually-beneficial relationships between two or more people where all those involved in the relationship succeed more because of the connections than they would without."

Key words: long-term and mutually beneficial.  If it is one sided (or a quick hit) it is not networking.  People who show up at industry events looking for favors without a commitment to the greater community are not networking.  Being part of somebody's network means you are invested in their success in addition to your own.

Three Ways To Ensure You Get Value from Networking:

1.  Long Term Commitment.  If you show up at a business event to meet people expecting fast results for your business you will leave disappointed.  The networking does not take place at an event, conference or other gathering where you meet business professionals (online or offline).  The place you meet is simply a tool for starting a conversation.  Networking happens over the years that follow.  You will not develop an ongoing you relationship with everyone you meet, however those with whom you cultivate ongoing connections are the people that will become part of your long term circle of influence.  You help them and they help you, but nobody keep score.

Meeting someone once does not make them part of your network.  It makes them someone you have met once!

2.  Kill the Elevator Pitch.  We spend a lot of time teaching business professionals to create an elevator pitch about who they are and what they do for a living.  Cute and catchy multi-sentence descriptive phrases do not get others excited or interested when they meet you.  Instead of immediately talking about yourself and your company (and reciting a rehearsed monologue), ask them questions about their business and personal life.  Take an interest in what is important in their world long before you talk about yours.  (Note:  it is important to be able to clearly and concisely tell others about you, just do not lead with it).

Do not make networking all about your needs.  Start the relationships by showing you care about their future success as well as your own.

3.  Refer Business to Other People Everyday.  It is interesting that those who say networking does not work are often the same people who almost never go out of their way to help others find new business.  We live in a busy world and we are all trying to find out own success, but if you only focus on your own needs then you cannot establish a real network (or reap the rewards from networking).  

Zig Ziglar said it best: "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want".  Look back at your past month and determine how often you directly referred business or talked up others (including online).  If you increase your efforts to help others find success, you will see more success.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Bust The Cliques At Association Conferences

Association conferences can be cliquey.  

I know, people claim their meeting is different.  Ice breakers, first-time receptions, and other efforts are made to help people connect.... but human nature being what it is, we end up with cliques.

It is like high school.  There was always a "cool kids table", and those who sat there may have had no idea they were exclusive. This happens at annual gatherings too, as people build friendships over the years and they are so happy to get together that their whole purpose for attending is a mini-reunion with their clique.  This is not bad, as these peer-to-peer friendships help drive attendance, but it can also leave others feeling as if they are on the outside looking inward.

Now, there is also the problem that not everyone will hit it off and be friends.  You cannot force relationships to grow, and sometimes there are just people who are misfits to a group.  But everyone should be able to find their own peeps at an association conference, and those who are long-time members can benefit from seeking out new people to add to their circles.

So what can be done to make the attendees at your event become more inclusive?  Talk about the elephant in the room.  Make connecting it part of your opening ceremonies.  

I belong to an organization that makes a point each year to stress how welcoming their members are to those they do not know.  They praise the big tent / family atmosphere... but is it real?  At the convention two years ago I stood alone for two hours at a reception waiting to see how many people would come talk to me.  Aside from a few friends (who were not aware of my intentional experiment) not one person said hello (and I was trying to look around, make eye contact, and not look creepy).  Then the president stood up and raved about how there are no cliques in this organization.  Ummm, wrong... this group is no different from other associations.

Pretending your members are all seeking and inviting strangers into conversations does not make it real. 

It is better to create a networking culture at a conference, but this does not happen by accident.  You must create an atmosphere that gives people permission to engage.  They want to do it, but it does not happen organically.  Most people cite "networking opportunities" as a main reason for coming to a conference, but their time is spent with co-workers, old friends, and on their phones.

Your speakers are key to getting people to engage.  This does not necessarily mean they must use ice breakers (most ice breakers are lame anyway), but instead they have to be conversational and interactive style that encourages attendees to share with each other.  It is often the "Hallway Conversations" (those serendipitous chats between people) that bring the greatest ROI to the "Conference Attendee Experience".  And yet in the planning stages of an event we often fail to allow for those moments to occur (as in the planning we are focused on content and food!! - both important, by the way).

If you think your event has issues with cliques or simply not enough engagement, there are many things you can do to put a new spark in how people interact.  People are hoping your meeting will be a "happening", as nobody comes seeking "blah".  However, amazing human engagement will not happen by accident.  

If you make networking a second tier priority you will have second tier results.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Networking At A Conference Is More Than The Welcome Reception

The team at Velvet Chainsaw Consulting has released an informative e-book called "Conference Connexity" (Available free to the readers of their blog).  The book is a quick-read and highlights the importance of community and connection in the execution of a successful event.

Conference attendees always cite the "networking opportunities" as a reason for attending a live event, but once they get there, they often fail at making the type of meaningful connections they desire.  The planners try to give their audiences what they want, but are often perplexed on how to change up the same-old / same-old format.

The book covers a lot of ground in thirty pages, but it is full of ideas that can inspire new ways to plan your conference to weave the networking opportunities throughout the whole agenda.  We cannot force people to have great conversations, but when we show them how to engage with each other, and create a networking culture, then amazing things will happen.  

Here are my favorite five points in the book:

1. Embed networking throughout the conference program.  If we treat the human-to-human engagement as a second-tier activity, then we will get second-tier results.  Networking is not just something to do over cocktails, but can happen in the hallways and in the sessions.  Speakers need to be selected as partners in the success of the event, and trained in how to make their sessions engaging.

2. People value connections with leadership and experienced practitioners.  Make sure that your organization's board, senior staff, speakers, and other VIP's are participating in the event.  Often these people are either in committee meetings, at private gatherings, or hiding in their hotel rooms.  Too often speakers leave immediately after their talk, cheating the audience from their chance to connect.  

3.  Program enough "white space" (free time).  A 15 minute break does not give people enough time to pee, much less get coffee, have a conversation, and allow their brains time to process the information.  While cramming in content seems like a great idea in the planning stages, rushing your attendees from room to room cuts into their positive experience.

4.  Weave innovation "Thought Leaders" into your program.  The speakers set the tone for the whole event. Having only industry experts or celebrities as speakers can create a predictable and boring conference.  Sometimes the best speakers come from outside your business, and having keynoters who make people think and take actions will jump start more interesting conversations.

5.  Unleash planned serendipity.  Leverage your information about the attendees to create situations where they can make better connections.  Create areas where people can gather and talk.  Have special events for like-minded attendees.  Train your volunteers and help them engage with each other and the whole audience.

I suggest you read the Velvet Chainsaw e-book, and make connecting your community an up-front priority for all your events.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections. http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

Attend Meetings If You Want Opportunity - Stay Home If Not Interested

When attending a conference do not underestimate the power of the human element. There is sometimes a feeling that it is "un-cool" to admit to wanting to network while attending an event, but this is where you find the value at live conferences, trade shows, conventions, and seminars.

When I speak at an event I often am making a case for connecting with people in a social media crazy world.  This is not to undermine the power of digital and mobile tools, but to make sure we do not forget to look others in the eye.  

If the purpose of a meeting was only to gain information then we would not need to convene. While I love experiencing the presentation of a GREAT speaker, those are rare in our day of everyone being an expert (regardless of their ability to speak).  Too few speakers have the ability inspire an audience to learn from their talk.  

Reading a white paper or watching a recorded video on your computer could transmit the data (if learning was the only purpose), but sharing all aspects of a conference with peers is how we find value in meetings.  The serendipity of "hallway conversations" can hardly be duplicated in an online chat box, and is often where people get their deepest learning moments.

While attending the luncheon at a conference recently I had a debate about the power of face-to-face meetings and networking with a guy who was convinced that the day of the meeting was behind us.  He was opinionated, but very well informed.  He was at the event himself, but seemed torn by why others would attend.

Our conversation was a respectful discussion, although we disagreed.  Over the next few days we hung around together often and became friends.  One night in the bar he was telling me how he got his current job (a great one, I might add).  Turns out he met his boss at a conference similar to the one we were attending.  I inquired if it was really a "live meeting" that lead to his dream job?

He smiled and said, "I guess meetings are a thing of the past, except for those who want opportunity".

What a great line: 

Meetings are a thing of the past, except for those who want opportunity.

When you attend you next live event, do not pretend that people do not matter.  Nothing matters more.  Take the time to meet people and get to know them.  You never know what can happen with the right connection.  However, if you do not connect then you can be fairly certain that there will be nothing.

Remember:  All opportunities come from people! 

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Captain Ahab - The Fisherman of Networking Opportunities

Geeg Wiles from Massachusetts was recently in Austin with his travel companion, Captain Ahab.  Geeg and I met to discuss the business of speaking professionally, as he has begun speaking on college campuses encouraging students on living life to the fullest, creating experiences, and cultivating relationships.... as it is the real life connections with people that make a difference in our lives ---  not just the "likes", "follows", "links" and "shares" of social media (hmmmm..... sounds like a refreshingly familiar message!!!).

He does not travel alone.  For over 12 years he has roamed the United States with Ahab.  His partner in crime is quiet, but always the center of attention.  People stare, laugh, question, giggle, roll their eyes, look away in horror, and/or come up to have their photo taken with the two foot tall fisherman that apparently wants to be a pirate.

This leads Geeg, and anyone with him, to start interesting conversations and build friendships.

Captain Ahab is a wooden sculpture.  He began his life on the front lawn of a middle-class home in Massachusetts (think "garden gnome"), but more than a decade ago Ahab was "acquired" by Geeg and his college buddies.  The idea was a short series of adventures and then his being returned with a photo album chronicling his destinations.  However this college prank has grown into a mission of fun, discovery and human-to-human connections.

Everywhere they go Ahab is a conversation starter.  Geeg has met people near and far.  Locals, tourists, celebrities  etc... all come up to learn more about this little yellow wooden man.  While not everyone is interested in talking to Geeg, he is sure that he has met thousands of people because of his not being shy about carting his wood carving all over the place.

I joined Geeg and his friends for lunch on South Congress in Austin, and tagged along as they took Ahab along the funky shopping district (he made an appearance at Allen's Boots and tried on cowboy hats!).  Even in a "Keep Austin Weird" part of town, Ahab turned heads (one would think in Austin a grown man carrying a large carved fisherman would seem tame... but people still wanted to know the back story).

Networking apparently does not need to be just between humans.  Wooden figures are not getting in the game.  To make connections all you have to do is be willing to talk to others.  Take an interest in people and share stories.  You never know what opportunities can grow from conversations with others.

Too bad some of the real people we meet at networking events seem more like wood statues than old Ahab!

To learn more about Ahab's Adventures you can follow him on Facebook or check out www.ahabsadventures.com

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Why Networking Does Work

Inc. Magazine has an online article on their website by Erick V. Hotlzclaw titled "Why Networking Doesn't Work".  The article is right and wrong at the same time.  It misses the point, as it focuses the definition of the word "networking" as if it only means "working a room". 

He makes the same mistake others do by trying to categorize small pieces of what it is to network as the whole.  The problem with the article is in the semantics and definition of "Networking". 

The definition I teach is:

"Networking is the creation and cultivation of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships between two or more people; where all involved succeed more because of the relationships than they would without the relationships".  

Now that works every time.  A long-term and mutually-beneficial relationship is always a good thing!!!

Holtzclaw sites "networkers" who run around collecting cards as the problem with networking.  I don't see that very often.  Yes, there are those who make idiots of themselves and have poor skills when it comes to engagement in the community, but that is not the average person at business events.

I also take exception with the word "networkers" in the way he uses it...  as I am not sure what "networker" really is by his definition.  Nobody holds that job title of "networker" (whom I have ever met).  Instead there are professionals in all industries who cherish learning about people, and cultivate meaningful connections that can (and will) lead to more opportunity for all involved.  But they are not "networkers"... they are a Realtors, lawyers, doctors, sales professionals and all other vocations.  The use of the word in this manner seems to undermine their real career efforts of these people.

If it is anything, a "networker" is someone who does a great job of creating relationships and serving others, not someone who fails at the task.

Networking should not be seen as a verb - "Oh, I need to Go Network".  Instead it is a lifestyle and a commitment to the people you encounter in your community.

As I read Holtzclaw's advice on how to do a better job,..... it was spot on right!!!  However his tips for how to properly network and get them most out of your time and efforts was listed as if it was somehow separate from "networking". 

Parts are not the whole of networking.  Yes, we can (and should) help others learn how to create the types of relationships that will lead to a better future and more opportunity.  But he is not really telling people that message with the title of "Why Networking Doesn't Work".  The reality of his article is educating people "Why Networking Does Work"....when done the right way.

A rose by any other name.....

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

The Value From Attending SXSW Comes From The People and The City (It is NOT in your phone!)

That time of year is here again.  SXSW in Austin, Texas.

I have lived in Austin for nearly 22 years and have seen the changes that have come to SXSW over the years.  There is so much that goes on from the Music, Film, and Interactive conferences.... but the thing that makes SXSW magical is not found on the agenda.  The real pizzazz that makes these festivals so exciting is the mix of the people and the backdrop of Austin, Texas.

Austin has a vibe.  Those who have not experienced this might roll their eyes-- But others are nodding their heads as they read these words.  Austin is cool and the people who live here are very nice.  When you come to SXSW get ready for more than your average multi-day mega event.

I have attended SXSW Interactive for seven years.  The conference has exploded over time, and many argue that it has gotten too large (some say there is "shark jumping" going on - but I disagree).  In the early years I saw a very integrated community.  There was no levels of "whose who", but instead people were all part of a family.  Now there are clearly cliques and walls that exist and it is much harder to meet people and make connections.  

But I do not think it is the size of the conference that has made it harder to meet people, but it is the adoption of technology over the past five years that has undermined the connectivity of SXSW Interactive.  Ironic that a conference about technology is being hurt by the tech tools that have become pervasive. 

People spend too much time on apps, and not enough time experiencing the human-to-human part of being at a live conference.  They do not look up and see the amazing life in the city that exists around the Convention Center or even their fellow participants.  

If you are coming to SXSW do not spend all your time glued to the agenda of panels, speakers, exhibits and parties.  Get you head up from your smart phone and witness all that is around you.  Get sucked in by the "Austin Vibe" and share all you see with people who are here... not posting pics to Instagram or Facebook so that your friends at home can be jealous.

I am not saying to not use technology.  That would be ridiculous.  The SXSW Interactive participants would have strokes and heart attacks if not constantly attached to their electronics, and the local paramedics would not be able to handle that number of emergency calls.  

Instead I am suggesting you develop a balance between looking at your devices and looking at the people around you.  During a speaker or panel, if the speaker is not able to captivate your attention... jump on your phone and surf the internet (or leave the room).  But during the scheduled breaks do not walk the halls as a "Phone Zombie". Spend your breaks in discussions with others.  While standing in line, say "hello" to people.  There is power in the word "hello" and it can spark conversations.  

These "Hallway Conversations" is where you will find the real ROI in coming to SXSW.  If you take actions to engage with other people, you will find your visit to Austin to be amazing.  If you are staring at your phone the whole time it is a waste of time and money to fly to Texas (however our Chamber of Commerce and City Government do appreciate your spending money here regardless of if you get a benefit from being present).

I challenge you to put your phone away more than you would usually and see if it improves your time at the event.  If the SXSW culture became one of talking to people then the event will be better.  If the culture is one where everyone is buried in a phone or tablet, the conference will fall flat.  

Choose people!!!

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

You Can't Know Everyone

Something weird has happened the last few years,.... the definition of the word "know"...K.N.O.W..... has changed throughout our society.  Everyone thinks they "know" everyone.

Getting to know someone used to be a process.  It could not happen immediately, and nobody expected to fully understand the psyche  and personal motivation of another person by viewing them from afar.

But social media has changed all that.  People now assume a relationship because they have heard of the other person.... regardless of if they have even met in person.

"We are friends, I met him at a convention last year"

"I know her... I read her blog"

"We follow each other on Twitter"

"She's my Facebook friend"

Because of this new environment there are a lot of hurt feelings when one person assumes there is a relationships when there was only an encounter.  The word "connection" is used often, but that used to mean something of value.... now it could mean we are both clicked "like" on LinkedIn.

Shaking hands at a conference and trading business cards does NOT make someone part of your network.  It makes them someone you have met once.  There is a big difference between a brief chat and an ongoing mutually-beneficial relationship.  Our propensity to seek shortcuts does not serve us well when building a network that brings value to all involved.

A friend complained recently that someone she met did not remember her the second time they crossed paths.  She was upset, and I understand, because I have been there (actually I have been on both sides of this problem!).  But in our busy society we meet so many people that we cannot possibly be expected to recall everyone, especially if the original meeting was for a short duration and did not make an impression.

I asked my friend what she did to follow up with that person after their initial encounter?  The answer was "nothing", but she still expected to be remembered.  She had not sent a handwritten note, an email or a phone call.  She had never reached out to make a referral to her new acquaintance or invited them to join her at a networking event.

Is it our responsibility to remember everyone we encounter even if that person did not make an effort to cultivate a future relationship?

Not everyone who meets me will recall me later.  Nor will some give a damn that I exist.  I do not take it personally, but instead I assume this because I do not matter in their life at this point.  Now, if I have met them several times... that stings, but everyone has their own priorities (and that may not include me).

Assuming that we are important to each person whose hand we shake is one sided.  Just because we desire their attention does not mean we deserve it.

Being forgotten once should not undermine the opportunity for a great friendship in the future.  Instead of getting mad, take ownership that you did not make a lasting impression.  If we wish to build something we need to work on being memorable.  One of the best ways to be remembered is to make a referral or otherwise connect the person with someone who brings them closer to their goals.  Now you cannot do this for everyone, but too few people ever do this for anyone.  Serving others in some way will make it more likely for you get noticed.

You can't "know" everyone.  It is okay.  And not everyone wants to know you.  Focus on the people who you do know, those whom you want to get to know better, and especially those who show a desire to create a long-term friendship where you both seek to help each other succeed.  It takes time to really establish a network.  Stop thinking it is about knowing everyone and cherish the ones that matter.

Show you care by being the one who instigates the follow up and maybe they will remember you.  If you want people to care that you exist then show them you have an interest in their success, too.

And if they do not seek to establish a relationship... so what.... send them good vibes and move on to someone who does think you matter!

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Networking Mistakes Being Made At Almost Every Conference

Mistakes are made at events.  People say they come for the "networking opportunities"... but then they often fail to make meaningful connections.  Planners know that this is an issue and are always seeking ways to help attendees do a better job of meeting each other.  It is well known that the agenda matters and data is important... but when people have great "hallway conversations" with their peers, the event is a bigger success.  Thus getting people together means exceptional events.

Here are the most common mistakes people make when networking

1. Spending too much time with coworkers and other friends. Cliques are a big problem at events, even though people do not intend to be exclusive. It is easy to gravitate to those we already know and close ourselves off from the opportunity to meet new people. If this goes unchecked, it can undermine the whole atmosphere.

To combat this you must be conscious of the need to get people engaged.  Since people attend a conference, trade show, convention, seminar or other events for the "networking opportunities", there must be an environment where the people are the stars of the show.  Too often we see events that claim "content is king", and while learning is important, it does not trump the human experience.

2. Seeking time with celebrity speakers, industry gurus and other VIPs. Many people have a hope that they will meet someone more established (or famous) who will reach out and pull them up to the top. While this could happen, the reality is that most of these VIPs are not at the event hoping to discover a protege.  They are polite and happy to talk with those who stand in line to meet them, but few go home and follow up with those they encountered.  But when industry gurus or celebrities are highlighted as the focal point of the whole event, it is not surprising attendees flock to them.

A better idea is to get people to spend time with peers. Discovering others who are at similar career levels is an invest in establishing the foundation to what can grow into a meaningful and mutually beneficial friendships.  Conferences need to champion the power of the audience over their agenda and their celebrity speakers.

3. Talking too much. People often think that they should impress those they meet at conferences.  Hours are spent trying to craft a catchy "elevator pitch" and agendas include "speed networking" programs that turn the process of meeting into a fast-talking parlor game.  Instead of trying to be interesting, attendees should be interested in others and what they have to say.

Forget the goofy ice-breaker games and instead educate people to ask the types of questions that will launch meaningful conversations. The more one inquires about others, the better impression made. Talking too much about yourself will turn many people off (I struggle with this and am working to improve).

4. Paying attention to electronics. Smartphones and other gadgets are wonderful tools to make our lives more efficient, but at a conference they can be the wall that blocks interesting chats. If someone is on their phone they cannot be engaged with others and do not look approachable. Yet telling people to put their phones away will create a problem, as that is just not going to happen for many.

When a face is buried in a phone it tells others that the really fascinating people are elsewhere and that the offender is choosing email, text and social media over talking with them.  Creating a place where people want to have live conversations is always a challenge, but it can happen if the planners are intentional in their efforts.

5. Skipping keynotes and other sessions. People are experiential beings. When at an event there must be participation if an attendee wants to be part of the "mini-society" that is created at a conference.  There are communal activities that are expected for admittance into the group.  Yet too many people scour the schedule for when they can retreat.

Being present and active in all aspects of the conference must be part of the culture.  Creating an expectation for involved behavior throughout the event must be established. Building downtime into the agenda so that people do not feel overwhelmed is an important step to keep them from running away from the main events.

6. Expecting a short conversation to make someone part of a network. It can take several meaningful interaction with people before someone notices another exists. It is not uncommon for people to not grasp what another person does for a living until they heard it several times. Thus one meeting is not usually significant to create a relationship.  Yet people think a brief encounter makes them lifelong friends and are convinced they have established something meaningful.

Encourage your attendees to follow up with those they meet after the conference.  Do not let the power of connection created at your event die as soon as people leave for the airport.  Online communities and other forms of follow up should encourage people to extend their conversations once they get home.

7. Arriving late, leaving early, or skipping the networking time altogether. The best networking takes place before and after the main programs. Too often people will show up for the education but not the networking, and then wonder why they did not meet anyone who could have an impact on their future.

Being present at the networking events with a purposeful intention to meet others and discover what they are all about is the only way people will have success. Creating events that are uniquely interesting is important.  Simply coming to a ballroom for cheese and wine is hardly appealing to those who attend a lot of events.  The more inviting the social activity, the more likely people are to show up.

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The best way to create an atmosphere for better networking is to make it a priority.  Do not pretend it is not important or that the human experience is secondary to the rest of the agenda.  Recognize that people want to connect, but that they will always suck at it when left to their own devices.  Address the elephant in the room and give your attendees the permission to network (it is what they want to do!!!)

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Conference Speakers- Please Provide Three Learning Objectives AND Three Connection Objectives

People do not attend business events simply for the content.  There is a perceptional disconnect that "content is king" when it comes to planning events.  If the purpose of events is only about content there are many more efficient ways to garner information.  If people only desire the educational component, they could read books, surf the net, watch videos, take a class, view a webinar, hire a consultant, etc....  If your attendees only want content.... send them a white paper!

Connections with others is an important part motivation for attending conferences, trade shows, conventions, seminars and other gatherings.  Humans are social beings.  Even with all the discussions about introverts and extroverts, all who attend events hope that they will create some meaningful relationships.  Being an introvert does not mean they never want to associate with others (introvert does not translate to hermit), but instead it is about the need for some private down-time to recharge their batteries.  Most introverts enjoy their time with others, and I know many who thrive while attending business events (they are just not getting their energy at the happy hour like many of their extrovert brethren).  Yet many planners think if they have a "left-brained" crowd that they do not care about connections.  Not necessarily.

It is an easy excuse to hide behind the importance of the learning component to mask the failure to create an atmosphere for better networking and beneficial connections.  I am not discounting the legitimacy of learning at events (so don't mis-interpret my purpose).  People are not only seeking great parties when they attend a conference.  They want both education and connections.

The best learning at events is often claimed to come during the "hallway conversations", those spontaneous deep-dive chats that take place with other attendees after participating in a keynote or breakout session.  People have ideas, and when they share them with each other bigger ideas can be born.  Additionally the old-style expert lecture has lost appeal to those in the audience.  People want interactive, which means more than open-mic Questions at the end of a talk.  Yet defining "interactive" is not easy, as it is a feeling.  Some of the best interactive speakers do not do traditional Q & A or live exercises.  Yet their style leave people feeling they were part of the conversation (when maybe they never said a word).  The speakers ability to created community is paramount to success.

Creating a better "Conference Attendee Experience" means that all aspects of a conference must move toward both learning and connections.  Speakers are regularly asked to provide there learning objectives to the planners in advance of the talk, but I believe event organizers should also be asking those that present for three ways they encourage audience connections in their presentations.  Regardless of their topic as speaker should be prompting conversations in the hallways after their session ends.  If there is just a dump of data without anything more the whole session if a flop.  Planners should demand more from those who present.

Many speakers claim their job is to share their expertise, not contribute to the overall effectiveness and success of the meeting.  WRONG.  All speakers (keynote and breakout) are responsible for setting the tone for the whole event.  Presentations should actively engage the audience before, during and after the speech (this means live at the event and before and after via social media, etc...).  Having the speakers present at breaks, happy hours and meals the day of the talk (if not throughout the whole conference) is usually desired by attendees, and makes the speakers part of the mini-society that is created at an event.

What are the connection objectives for your event?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections. http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

Hallway Networking Is A Key Part of Conference Learning

Many people profess the best experiences they have when attending conferences, trade shows, conventions and other business gatherings come from the people they meet.  The hallway conversations after a keynote or a concurrent session is often where people process the information and share real life information with their peers.  The act of discussing the experience of the presentation and curriculum allow the shared knowledge to be digested and expanded.  This "hallway networking" is an important part of the learning.

Across industry lines people claim to attend events for the "networking opportunities", but organizers and attendees often forget that this power in connecting with people goes deeper than just collecting business cards or seeking to meet someone who can be of career assistance.  It is the sharing of thoughts, ideas, and best practices that can provide the best education.

Standing in line to have a photo taken with a celebrity speaker is nice, but that line should become a moving classroom where the people quiz each other about the nuggets of knowledge they gained from the session.  Seeking the perspective of others can often open our own minds to new points of view.

Preparation of event "Networking Time" should include learning objectives, as do the other educational sessions.  Helping to educate the audience on how to maximize a conference is part of the success for everyone.

In today's social media and mobile crazy world too many are buried in their iPads and smart-phones and pass on the advantages of enhancing the learning by engaging in meaningful conversations.  Some have developed a misunderstanding and adversity to "networking", and that attitude can undermine the culture of a conference.

Talking to your peers is in itself a wonderful way to learn, connect, and improve the ROI of being at the event.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer
www.ThomSinger.com

(Hat tip to meeting industry consultant and thought leader, Jeff Hurt of Velvet Chainsaw, for inspiring this post after a recent conversation in the hallway at an industry event!).

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com