Sunday, April 17, 2011

"Cooperative Significnace" Is A Way of Life

I have been talking with individual and group coaching/mentoring clients about my philosophy of "Cooperative Significance".  I have written about this several times in articles and on this blog.  I find the theme has weaved itself into every presentation I make to live audiences.  It is the core of what I teach.

I was recently asked to explain "What is 'cooperative significance'?".  My answer?  It is a way of life.

Everyone I talk with wants to be significant.  Most people want to be important to others.  We desire to be "of consequence" in our actions.  This is why people matter.  You cannot be significant alone in a field.

Gaming Theorist (cool job title!) Tom Chatfield said in his TED TALK at TEDGlobal 2010 that "The biggest neurological turn on for people is 'other people'".  WOW.  That is right.  It is in our collective engagement with other people that we reach out potential.

While crazy-busy schedules, deadlines, expectation, obligations, and information overload are simply a fact of life, they are no excuse for a selfish nature.  Too many people are so overwhelmed with the choices they make that they make decisions on "what's in it for me?".  This will always backfire.  

I once had a friend who chose his social outings based on whom could benefit his career.  I am sure he has been successful, and I assume he is happy.... I don't know, as I was dumped by him a long time ago.  It appears he has nice friends, but few of them seem to be the people he used to know.  I have always had a sour taste in my mouth on his open philosophy of selecting friends based on how it helped HIM.

While everyone would welcome others stepping in and providing opportunities, those who get the most are often the same people who give the most.  Instead of taking joy from only your own success, find joy in seeing others achieve their own goals and dreams.  Step up and make the connections for them that allow them to find success.  

When you do this, others will do the same for you.  It is not always the people you helped who bring you the opportunities.  Givers are watchers.  They know who helps.  Givers do not make it a practice to help takers... they give to other givers.

Find your significance in seeing others succeed. Cooperate in their lives when you can.  Look for ways to serve those in your community.

Make "Cooperative Significance" part of your daily routine.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

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