Beyond Cooperative Significance

"Cooperative Significance" is the phrase I use to describe the need for people to help each other find success.  We all need others to assist us along the way, and yet too many are stuck trying to reinvent the wheel every day by doing things that come easy to someone else.

Everyone wants to be significant; at home, at work, in their neighborhood, in their faith community, etc....  But we cannot be significant alone in a field.

Yet people allow assumptions, snap judgments,  stereotypes, and one-time situations to close the doors on creating meaningful connections.  It is a shame.

Pride is another thing that blocks us.  We do not want to appear weak or not in control of our own lives, so shut off parts of ourselves from the outside world.  Vulnerability is a natural part of the human experience (for a great TED Talk on vulnerability you should watch the talks by Dr. Brene Brown). It seems rare for people to ask for help, even for the little things that could easily be remedied by those around them.

It is difficult to let others know you need help, but apparently it is also difficult to lend a hand.  Too often people who could make an introduction do not do so (whether asked or not).  Some who can quickly solve an other's difficulties look the other way, as they do not have the time (or some other reason).  But if we do not make the time to serve, promote and assist others, why should we ever expect anyone to take actions that for us in our hours of need?

Finally, we should all strive to be slow to anger and fast to forgive.  Everyone makes mistakes, even those who are acting to help others succeed.  If our focus is only on the flaws of others, it can magnify our own short comings.  While a second chance is difficult to grant, it is often the basis of a win / win situation.

"Cooperative Significance" can make a difference in all of our lives, but it takes everyone being willing to do a little bit more.  I recently heard a speaker say that "win / win" has come to mean; I win twice as much as the other person to far too many.  If we have to keep score, we all lose in some manner.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

"Cooperative Significnace" Is A Way of Life

I have been talking with individual and group coaching/mentoring clients about my philosophy of "Cooperative Significance".  I have written about this several times in articles and on this blog.  I find the theme has weaved itself into every presentation I make to live audiences.  It is the core of what I teach.

I was recently asked to explain "What is 'cooperative significance'?".  My answer?  It is a way of life.

Everyone I talk with wants to be significant.  Most people want to be important to others.  We desire to be "of consequence" in our actions.  This is why people matter.  You cannot be significant alone in a field.

Gaming Theorist (cool job title!) Tom Chatfield said in his TED TALK at TEDGlobal 2010 that "The biggest neurological turn on for people is 'other people'".  WOW.  That is right.  It is in our collective engagement with other people that we reach out potential.

While crazy-busy schedules, deadlines, expectation, obligations, and information overload are simply a fact of life, they are no excuse for a selfish nature.  Too many people are so overwhelmed with the choices they make that they make decisions on "what's in it for me?".  This will always backfire.  


I once had a friend who chose his social outings based on whom could benefit his career.  I am sure he has been successful, and I assume he is happy.... I don't know, as I was dumped by him a long time ago.  It appears he has nice friends, but few of them seem to be the people he used to know.  I have always had a sour taste in my mouth on his open philosophy of selecting friends based on how it helped HIM.


While everyone would welcome others stepping in and providing opportunities, those who get the most are often the same people who give the most.  Instead of taking joy from only your own success, find joy in seeing others achieve their own goals and dreams.  Step up and make the connections for them that allow them to find success.  


When you do this, others will do the same for you.  It is not always the people you helped who bring you the opportunities.  Givers are watchers.  They know who helps.  Givers do not make it a practice to help takers... they give to other givers.


Find your significance in seeing others succeed. Cooperate in their lives when you can.  Look for ways to serve those in your community.


Make "Cooperative Significance" part of your daily routine.


Have A Great Day.


thom singer

Treat The Good Ones Like GOLD

Two blog posts I read today inspired this  blog post.

The first is by Chris Brogan.  Chris wrote about flaws, and in reading his post it seems that maybe the critical jerks that populate our world were impacting his mood as he sat at his computer.  He is right, we all have flaw, but they should not define us more than the amazing things we do to impact the society around us.

The second was by Leslie Morris (my editor, business partner, friend, and an impressive communications consultant).  Her post contemplated if being a "giver" was born or bred.  She discusses how some people, regardless of their own situation in life, find ways to serve.... while others are oblivious to the needs of others.  She is right that many wonderful people just never seem to discover the easy ways they can positively impact the world.

Well meaning people often can easily slip into self-focus.  This can be gossip and finger-pointing or the lack of philanthropic awareness and efforts. This happens to everyone at some point, as just getting through the day can sometimes be overwhelming.  Yet it is in the patterns we find character.

I believe most people want to do good and assist others in achieving success.  They want to be a beacon of the positive.  This desire often becomes confused with actual action, and can even blind them to their lack of effort or negativity.  Many make promises and never follow through, yet internally view making the promise as equal to the completed action.  Others think that "constructive criticism" 100% of the time is a gift (ummmm, not always!)

We all have made mistakes, and we all come up short on expectations sometimes. Flaws are part of being human. When this happens there is a long line of people willing to share our flaws with the world... But few are the ones who line up to praise others for their successes. When you find these rare souls who help for the sake of helping... and who give for the sake of giving... treat them like GOLD.

My business partner (The publisher at New Year Publishing and Leslie's husband, Dave) is one of these people who finds the good in others and supports them in the efforts to go for their dreams. I would never have become a full time speaker, author, and consultant if he had not seen my goals as legitimate and found ways to assist me to make them bigger than real.

He regularly does stuff to lift others up and avoids slamming people for flaws. Additionally he has had a very successful career. Some mistakenly say he can do good things because he is so successful.... but I know it is the other way around.... He IS successful because most of the time he focuses on the good parts of people and not the bad.... and gives of himself. 

You can't change the selfish people, the gossips, the mean-kids, the dream-killers, and the jerks.  But you can avoid being one of those yourself.  Additionally you must remember to treat the good people in your life like they are made of gold!

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Collaboration Over Competition (#collabsxsw)

I have been writing a lot lately about collaboration.  The concept of "Cooperative Significance" has become a centerpiece of my training, speaking and mentoring programs.

While attending the SXSW Interactive Conference I sat in on a panel on the subject of going beyond just "working together" and instead establishing long-term and mutually-beneficial relationships... even with the competition.

Too many people instantly hate the idea of a competitor, but often two or more who have similar businesses can come together and create synergies that help both find more success.

Sally Strebel, Derek Neighbors, Kristie Wells and Jay Baer did a great job of collaborating on the panel.  They shared a passion for people that goes beyond just the words spoken.  Below are some nuggets I took to heart from their discussion:

For collaboration to work, everyone must be engaged in the project.  Collaborating is not one person taking the other on a piggy back ride. 

Some don't want to work with others because they do not want to divide ownership, but 10% of something HUGE can be much more than 100% of something small.

Those who are bad collaborators usually have fears.  They are scared of the other person taking over, stealing ideas or intellectual property, or otherwise being screwed over.  But the universe is made up of good people, and while some folks will take advantage or you, most will not.  Do not miss out on the powerful benefits because there are a few selfish jerks out there.  If you don't collaborate, what you risk is what you do not get in the end.

This does not mean you should work with everyone.  You must like and trust the people with whom you work on projects.  A good rule of thumb is are they the type of person you would invite to your house for dinner.  The way to know if you like them?  Happy Hour (this panel liked to drink... they also gave out shots of Tequila to audience members who asked good questions). 

Happy Hour does not necessarily mean drinking... their point was to sit down and talk with others.  The old school business mentality was that life is a zeo-sum game.  You cannot both win.  But savvy entrepreneurs today think everyone can have more if they work well with others (and having more is not always money!).

We live in a world where we do not value people enough.  To succeed we need others.

Be honest with yourself about what you are good at, and the areas you fall short.  Look for partners who can compliment you and vice versa.

The only difference between collaborators and competitors is how you leave the relationship.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Does Your Team Understand "Cooperative Significance"?

Are you working alone inside a company or are you part of a "cooperative team"?

All people want to feel significant.  At home, at work, in their community, etc.... we want to make a difference through our actions. I know that is important to me, and it is important to the people with whom I mentor.

Does your company understand the meaning of "Cooperative Significance"?



Cannot see the video?  Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyGs7gJyE0A

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Integrated Visibility for Your Career

Is your company paying attention to visibility?  Are you?

The business world has changed over the last few years, and you cannot expect that doing good work is enough for success.  The road for entrepreneurs is littered with the bodies of those who were good enough, but never found their destiny.

You must create a brand that is recognized in your industry or you will be passed over.  It is not about chasing sales and customers.... those will come.  Instead your initial goal is to make more "short lists" of those who can buy what you sell.  When decision makers are selecting a vendor they can only talk with three or four suppliers who will deliver the products or services they seek. 

In many industries there are hundreds of choices for vendors, so making the "short list" is the first critical step to success.

If you are not on the short list then someone else will win the business 100% of the time.   

Sales professionals used to be able to use persistence and clever sales techniques to get into see prospects.  Today the prospects are out in front, gathering information online and through their network before their needs are ever public knowledge.  Gaining access to busy prospects is more difficult than at any time in history.

Building a brand, having a strong network, being a known industry thought leader, social media, and being seen as the expert are more important than ever.  The skills needed to establish "Integrated Visibility" are different from the sales skills of yesterday, but too many people are still ignoring the business climate changes.

I work with individuals and companies who are serious about creating an industry leader position.  This is obtained by realizing that success does not happen by accident or alone.  It takes work, too.

Creating long-term and meaningful business relationships  requires you to work closely with others in your community. You have to take risks.  You have to step into the spotlight.  You have to help others be significant.

"Cooperative Significance" is the philosophy at the heart of finding success with others, but nobody will line up to be a supportive pillar in your career if you are not helping others along the way.

When combined, serving others while managing your own visibility program will take you to the top faster than just doing your work. 

How are you integrating your visibility?  Are all those in your company serious about being leaders, or are they happy with the status quo?

thom singer

Cooperative Significance

Corporate employee groups and individuals with whom I work are all facing the same issue: Everyone is seeking to be significant. People want to matter. We live in a world of "noise" and few people feel they can stand out from the crowd.

Adrift and alone in a sea of people is no way to live.

Social media originally was seen as the great equalizer. No longer did you need money or fame to be part of the conversation. Your company pedigree and resume were less important than your ability to contribute your part to the conversation. In the early days this allowed the average person to garner a platform and build community. Three cheers for the masses.

Then it all got congested.

Today social media is the problem. As the magnitude of naysayers who originally ignored the channels have changed their tune, now everyone has jumped in the pool. While the barriers to entry have been democratized, the sheer numbers of people have returned us to the status quo.

Hello, can anyone hear me?

But the world has changed. The rules that existed in business yesterday, are not the same path to success today.... and they are certainly not the way to navigate the future.

To achieve we need to find "cooperative significance". We need groups of people with whom we can establish long-term and mutually beneficial relationships. It is not enough to have "followers" or "likes". Without a reciprocal understanding there are only one way relationships.

To have 100,000 followers on Facebook or Twitter and to follow nobody back is not a badge of honor. It a narcissistic celebrity worship mentality. This works for those who are truly celebrities, as that is the social contract we have with those who live in "Fame". However, for the rest of us there must be give and take.

Getting to "cooperative significance" does not happen without intention from all parties. Too many people hide behind a "schtick". Masked by gimmick and titles we find false security, but are void of meaning. It is hard to strip away to the real vulnerable core with others, but when we do this, we create the real value of a network.

Who wants to continue this discussion deeper?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer
thom (at) thomsinger.com
www.thomsinger.com