Wednesday, July 25, 2012

It Is Not Just About Me (No really, it's not!!)

We live in crazy times and the level of competition is overwhelming.  Too many people are worried about getting their slice of the pie.  But is opportunity finite?  I hope not.  

When we spend time hoarding everything (physical stuff, relationships, opportunities, knowledge, etc...) for fear others are out take from us then we never get a chance to expand our own boundaries.  

We could all benefit from not viewing ourselves too seriously and trying to give to others. There are countless ways we can help those around us achieve their own goals, and when we do it we find more opportunity for ourselves (it is weird).

If you have not made an effort to refer someone a piece of business lately.... and then you wonder why so few refer leads to you.... there might be a connection.  Can you name the last time you referred real leads to someone (not those light positive comments, but real live business)?

Sure, we have our own needs and goals.  We work hard to achieve, and there is never enough time on the clock.  Taking time to help another can seem like it derails us from our own track.  If we are not getting stuff done to pay the bills then we fail, and if we fail we cannot help others.  But I do not think we have to wait to succeed to give.... we can do it along the way (so everyone wins together).

On top of being busy, we have egos.  I do.  You do, too.  Most of us think we are awfully special at our "stuff".  Each of us is probably right on some level.  Yet too often we get caught up in our own situations, and we fail to realize that we are all people seeking to find our own way in the world. With over 7 billion people on the earth that means there are over 7 billion personal points of view.... and we often think ours is the best one. Not.

Being human is a complex experience.  Emotions play tricks on us, and get us all worked up....  and when we get emotional, we often become secretly clairvoyant (or think of ourselves in that way).

Do you know what I am talking about?  We get angry or jealous (or insert any emotion) and we instantly know what others are thinking in their minds.  Of course we do not really know what they are thinking.... we are just imagining their motivation.  But damn... it sure seems real at the time, and this can keep us from going out of our way to help them find success (because clearly they are not thinking about anyone but themselves!!!).

It is easier to make quick judgments about others and fill in the blanks with imaginary critiques than to invest the time to understand the people around us.

On Friday's I write a blog series called "Cool Things My Friends Do" and I am often promoting my friends who are also speakers and authors.  Recently a fellow professional speaker asked me why I would put the spotlight on my "competition".  I had no answer other than "why wouldn't I want to praise others for their success?  If I want anyone out there to cheer about me... I need to lead by example".   

Take a minute to chill out and get in touch with how you can be more helpful to others.  Try it for a few weeks and just see how you feel when you give a little time or energy to seeing another person get closer to their goals. 

Your thoughts?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

1 comment:

Neen James said...

I always love reading your blog and was even more delighted to be one of your 'cool friends' and one thing I have always admired about you is your generosity of sprit and generosity of time.

You walk your talk and I have been on the receiving end of your recommendations and referrals - thank you Thom for all you do and all you are in the world - you make a BIG impact!