Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Networking Is NOT About Keeping Score

Steve Harper of "The Ripple Effect" (AKA - Mr. Ripple and @rippleon) has an important post on his Ripple Blog today: "Your Style Points Are Being Tracked". Go read it now... I will wait......

His message is about not keeping score in your networking efforts. Too many people mistakenly think that they should be tracking the good things they do to help others succeed and expecting direct reciprocation. Yet creating long-term, mutually beneficial relationships and cultivating a powerful reputation cannot be done if you are always asking "What's in it for me?"

I also get asked about this topic very often, especially when I am consulting with lawyers, CEOs, sales managers and other executives. People are focused on finding their own success, and with limited time and resources they question if helping others really has a direct ROI.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. If you think that doing one favor one time will mean that people will line up to assist you in reaching your goals, then you will be disappointed. The powerful rewards and opportunities only come after you make the efforts. This is about a lifestyle of taking joy in seeing others win for the greater good... not just your immediate gratification.

You need not keep score because "the universe" does keep score. In the end, those in your business community instinctively know who are the "givers" and the "takers". They see what is in your heart and mirror their actions to your soul.

If you want to attract the right type of people into your life who will go the extra mile to help you find your goals, dreams and aspirations... then you must first be the type of person who does that for others.

This video clip from a recent presentation sums it up:

(If you do not see the video... here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET1Wr2-Ta9I

Have A Great Day.



Harwick Family said...

Thom, your last paragraph implies a scorekeeping, or at least a quid pro quo. Authentic giving is done with no expectation of a return...today or in the future.

Thom Singer said...

Brad, I am not sure I agree with what you are saying. The point is that if you want people to help you (and there is nothing wrong with wanting a network of people who bring you closer to success), that you first must be that type of person. It is not quid pro quo... as that does not mean the exact person you help will help you. It is more like KARMA.... if you are a giver, you will find yourself surrounded by givers (not only those you give to). But if you are a taker, people wont line up to help you. I read it twice and I think I am saying the same thing as you are.

Harwick Family said...

I'm not opposed to receiving help (Law of Receptivity in Go Giver), but we can't say 'Don't be a scorekeeper' [paraphrasing] then say "help others so you can be surrounded by those that will help you". Probably something more like The Law of Compensation (Go Giver) that says your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them. Your second to last para gets to this I think. Keep up the insightful writing.

Steve Harper aka Mr. Ripple said...

Thanks for the mention post and the additional supportive material through your comments and the video.

Ripple On!!!

Steve Harper aka Mr. Ripple said...

Oh and forget that word Karma...replace it with Rippling.

Just kidding. Well, only slightly.

Ripple On!!!