Friday, May 02, 2008

Cleaning House - Online Social Media Style

Today I fired someone from my online social media life. Bam. Deleted. Gone. Poof.

I unsubscribed from her blog, deleted her from my blog roll, un-facebooked, deleted the Twitter follow, and all around just purged myself of this online persona who I originally admired, but came to lean was a phony. A self-centered prima donna who only was looking out for herself and not really interested in building any type of mutually beneficial relationships through the social media tools she populates.

Her blogging had become painful to read. There was little concern for imparting knowledge, but a constant attempt to stir up controversy while positioning herself as somehow better than the common folk. As a common folk, I had reached the end of my rope.

She has a big following and never seems to use it for good. She has an army of fanny-kissers, but even then she does not share the love. Sure she occasionally linked out to other blogs, but only ones with more cache than she. Never have I seen her be gracious to others on line and say a kind word or helped lift others up, although she certainly kissed-fanny to those more famous than her at every turn. She has a big ego, and in the end was leaving me sad every time I had any contact.

The great thing about cleaning house in the social media arena is that she does not really know or care who I am, nor will she even notice that I am gone in most cases. This is not like having to purge a toxic friend or family member. She could care less who follows her as long as she has the big numbers on her statcounter. Why in the world was I wasting my precious time with this person who brings no rays of sunlight into the world?

How about you, have you ever found the need to eliminate people from your online life? (oh God, is it me?).

Have A Great Day.



Mari said...

I've actually had to do something similar with someone. She actually got me started blogging. Then I realized there was no one genuine behind the facade. She was basically just marketing herself. Quite a let down.

thomsinger said...


Thanks for the comment. Yes, you are is a let down.

the saddest part is that if this person was to read my post and know it was her, she really would not care, cuz to her social networking is not about networking, it is about gimme gimme gimme.

JibberJobber Guy said...

Thom, if someone left you, they wouldn't be here to tell you about it :p

Last year I was on a Yahoo! Group that was like this... it was all about the moderator. About 5 out of 6 of my posts to the group were shot down... it became really stressful because I was taking time and making effort to add value to the list, but the moderator/owner shot it down because it my message wasn't all about her.

So I made a tough choice and got off her list.

It was one of the best things I've done in the two years I've done this. We have so much noise, it does us no good to hang on to this stuff.

Liz said...

Good for you! Relationships (business or personal) are about quality and if the quality isn't there you have to walk away. I say good riddance to that person and what a nice way to start the weekend!


Anonymous said...

I've done this in the past, although not necessarily in the realm of blogging. But I've had work associates or people I thought were friends who turned out to be ultimately self-serving.

It can be a hard lesson -- but it is one that may be, in the long term, good to learn. Not everyone pays it forward, or pays at all. For us who do, we can only shrug when we discover we have been used as a stepping-stone and devote our time to our friends and community who is grateful.

thomsinger said...

Jason, Liz and J Phil -

thanks for chiming in on this one.

JPhil, you are so right about the "pay it forward" comment. That is what I was feeling about this person, and did not know it. I feel she takes, takes, and takes all for herself...and in the end was not being a good member of society. She needs to pay it forward.

Have a great day everyone.

James T. Parsons said...

Hey Thom,

The reality is that someone who constantly takes will have only a fleeting show of support with no depth to it. I have been pleasantly surprised with many that use these various on-line networking functions that most are very much about depth of the connection and relationship.

I also think it is always an acceptable thing to decide a connection is not worth your time, and prioritize those connections that are worth the effort for you. If there is no win-win feeling on both sides by being connected, then you do want to make sure those you connect with are rewarding and enriching of your life.

There is a level of truth to that way of handling the situation.

Hope you are well and definitely let us know about any new leadership efforts you undertake. I think you have a lot of people that think well of you, and you clearly get the art of connecting.

As always,