"The Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule" of Social Media

There are many opinions about how to best utilize social media tools in your personal and professional lives. I maintain that you have to explore and learn, but in the end do what works for you. 

You will find plenty of "experts" who are sure that their way is the only way.... but there are many paths to building your online reputation and cultivating friendships.

My personal policy for whom I link with on LinkedIn and Facebook is "The Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule".  I have spoken about this for years, but decided to re-post the concept after a recent conversation at a business marketing conference.  

Simply stated, I do not link to people on LinkedIn and Facebook whom I have not interacted with personally.  On Twitter, Google+ and other sites I have different policies, but too many strangers in my LinkedIn and Facebook stream can cloud the value I receive from being engaged in the first place.  

Having read someone's blog, heard about their reputation or briefly meting them at a conference may or many not mean there is a foundation for a relationship.  Thus I established the benchmark of sitting with them for "coffee, meal or beer".  A conversation that lasts 45 minutes establishes a baseline for a minimum level of contact before the online link is made.  I also have "digital equivalent" options such as phone calls, Skype conversations  or Google+ Hang Outs.... as in today's online world our relationships can certainly grow via virtual meetings.

Not every one of my contacts originally met this criteria, but a majority of those in my LinkedIn and Facebook lists are those with whom I have had a substantial initial conversation.  A few got in before I established the policy, and I often make exceptions for meeting professionals and recruiters whose industries practices are to utilize LinkedIn as a way to reach out to people they may wish to do business with in the future.

There are those who disagree with my policy and believe one gains more from linking to everyone, but this has served me well. When I get a request, I will often ask for a personal meeting or a call.  If the person reaching out cannot make the time for a chat, I am not sure why they want the connection at all.

My advice to others is to have a policy (even if it is different from mine), and then to be respectful of others who use these tools in different ways! (Lack of respect for those with differing opinions is an epidemic online, and we must get beyond that!).

Have A Great Day

thom singer

LinkedIn: Everyday... Sometimes Twice

I am often asked if "LinkedIn really matters?"  In our social media crazy world many people pile into what ever communities they hear are the place to be seen, but often are lost in finding real value.

My opinion is that LinkedIn does matter.  When I talk to recruiters they assure me they use it when seeking candidates, and if you ever hope to have future job opportunities, I recommend having a robust LinkedIn profile so that you can be found.  Waiting until you are laid-off to jump into LinkedIn is like waiting until you are thirsty to dig a well (hat tip to Harvey Mackay who wrote a book called "Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty" - although the book was written long before LinkedIn was founded).

More importantly it is being used by people every day before they show up to have a meeting.  This is true for sales people, those being sold to, and anyone having a chat.  LinkedIn, when used properly, can be an outstanding way to discover basic information about others.  In our time sensitive society there is rarely enough time to build rapport and discover connections.  But jumping to the purpose of a meeting can bypass the human-to-human connections that are necessary for a mutual understanding.

Without getting to the personal side, many meetings are quickly forgotten, and thus useless.

A brief visit to LinkedIn can tell you where a person went to college, previous employers, and whom you know in common.  There is no guarantee that this information will lead to a deeper conversation, but sometimes it is a goldmine.  One little thing in common is enough to explode a discussion and set the foundation for a more powerful connection.

You should never attend an appointment with someone you are meeting for the first time without visiting LinkedIn. If they have completed a rich profile, then you may see something that will lead you to a more meaningful conversation.

Additionally, you should complete your profile so that others can do the same thing.  It is not stalking, it is good business.  When someone takes the time to browse your profile it shows they valued meeting with you.  To sit down and say "tell me about yourself" is a clear sign that little forethought was invested.  Better is to say "I see on your LinkedIn profile you worked at Brobeck, Phleger and Harrison LLP, tell me about your experience working there".

For a small fee per month you can also get access to see who is accessing your profile.  I am not sure this is necessary for everyone, but it does show you what type of people view your information.  I have seen an increase in meeting professionals and association executives coming to view my profile, which confirms that some of my marketing efforts as a speaker are working.  It also gives me a head-up when one of them calls me, as I can familiarize myself with their organization in advance.

Are you ignoring LinkedIn?  Have you thought about ways to use it to expand your understanding of the people with whom you do business?  Is it something you imagined could have value, but have simply not invested the time?  What are you waiting for?  Most people would benefit from visiting LinkedIn each day to do a little research.  Heck, maybe twice a day!

I invite you to visit my LinkedIn profile. Maybe it will spur a thought that will lead to a conversation, and extend our relationship.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

LinkedIn and The New Hire

My friend Leslie recently started a great job as Marketing Director at a cool Silicon Valley start-up.  On her first day the CEO sent out the typical email to the entire company announcing her arrival and welcoming her to the team.

Then it began.  Within minutes she started getting LinkedIn requests from the other employees.  Some came by or emailed first, but others just tossed the link requests over the wall.

I have mixed feelings about this.  I have written in detail about my belief that LinkedIn is not a way to connect to anyone with a pulse, and profess the "Coffee, Meal, or Beer Rule" (which basically means I want to know you before we connect on LinkedIn or Facebook).

In this case she works for a small company.  Since it is an intimate group and she will be working closely with everyone, the relationships are guaranteed to follow.  However, if she was working for a big company the amount of LinkedIn requests could have little meaning.  I used to work for Wells Fargo Bank and I still get requests from random bank employees from around the country who say "I see you once worked for Wells Fargo, I think we should connect".  Huh?....  that is just not enough of a reason.  They might as well say, "I see that you breath air, I think we should connect".

Leslie's company has ten sales people and several of them immediately combed her LinkedIn connections to see if she had contacts at any of their prospective client companies.  This was smart.  She has worked inside many technology companies as a marketing employee or consultant and has developed a wonderful reputation throughout the tech community.   Using LinkedIn to discover who are the first degree contacts of the "new hire" is a great idea.  It is a win for the company and a chance for the new person to add value right from the start.

This is another reason to be judicious in your linking policy.  If your new employer comes to you on week one and says "WOW, I see you are connected to Ryan Terrell, can you make an introduction", and your answer is "WHO?", it does add value!

I do believe that Linking with co-workers (with whom you know) is an important way to utilize LinkedIn.  It not only helps those inside the company find contacts that can lead to new sales opportunities, but someday when you move on you want to make sure that those who worked closely with you know how to find you!

What do you think?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Lawyers and Law Firms (and others) Still Questioning The Value of LinkedIn and Other Social Media Tools?

A business development focused lawyer I met several years ago sends out a daily email to his friends and colleagues with ideas, questions, observations and other positive pontifications.

He queried recently about the usefulness of LinkedIn and it was forwarded to me by another attorney.  

"I’ve received very little feedback about LinkedIn, and no glowing recommendations for how to use LinkedIn effectively. I am on LinkedIn and I have joined several groups. I get updates of posts from the groups to my email account here at Blanchard Walker, but only a weekly update of statuses. If I stay logged on to LinkedIn, the screen never changes - no instant updates or “wall” like Facebook.

"I, and from your feedback I discern many of you, joined LinkedIn thinking it might be a “professional” type of Facebook. So far, it is tedious and unproductive. I tend to log on infrequently, and the more I log on, the more I wonder why I bother.

"Any of you have success stories about LinkedIn?"

I promptly responded to with my two cents:

“I have some strong beliefs about the use of social media (not just for lawyers)..... and find it a powerful tool. The key thing to remember is that it is not a magic bullet.  LinkedIn is different from Facebook and Twitter, but the three are lumped together in the press and by ‘gurus’ who are making a lot of money off the subject.

“LinkedIn is not so much about you getting inbound business as it is a way for you and others to discover basic professional information about each other.  You should assume that EVERY client and prospect goes to your LinkedIn profile before calling you or meeting with you. It is an easy way to scan someone's resume / CV. You should be doing this too. 

“A partner in a law firm that was considering hiring me to speak at their partner retreat scanned my profile and found I went to college at San Diego State. He had gone there for one year, too.  It was not on his profile, so I could never have known this... but he opened our conversation with this similar point of interest. We talked for 15 minutes about San Diego and this helped us quickly find a common bond.  Wammo... I got the gig.

“Make sure your profile looks like you know how to use LinkedIn.  Imagine you were interviewing a potential vendor who told you ‘Oh, I don't use email or cell phones in business.... as I don't "get" it and they don't really matter to me!’ Would you hire them or think they are out of touch?  Yet I talk to lawyers (especially those over 50 years old) all the time who pooh-pooh social media. But if these tools are important to your clients, they had better be important to YOU!

“My take is that these social media tools are here to stay, and are growing in use,.... thus lawyers must both understand them, and have an active presence on social media.  Waiting to see if this is all just a fad is not a smart idea at this point.

“At the same time, they do not replace human to human connections.  Law is a relationship business, and remembering that on the other side of a social media connection is a real person is paramount to success."

I consult with lawyers and other business professionals on the best way to maximize LinkedIn.  I am often surprised at how many executives are still baffled by how to best use this as a legitimate tool.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

The Lust To Link - Fewer People Want a "One-Night-Link"

More and more people are feeling slutty when linking to strangers on LinkedIn and Facebook. As they mature in their use of social media they are realizing that links without the love, while fun, can just leave everyone with little to show for their connections.

Additionally, social media does not scale to the whole world. Eventually if you have too many contacts it just becomes noise. The people who you do know, like and trust become lost in a sea of status updates from random people who are rambling about things that do not matter.

At the "Social Media Day Tech Karaoke" event the I joined a conversation with two highly known and respected members of the community. They were talking about my "Coffee / Meal / Beer Rule" for accepting connections on Facebook and LinkedIn (I only link to people in those two social media communities with whom I have had a real conversation. There are exceptions, as there are other ways to get to know someone, but I do not link upon the first meeting). One of them had gotten so many strangers into his social media world that he was finding it necessary to "cut back". He was dumping the strangers.

Interestingly, that same person had sent me a LinkedIn request the night we met over a year ago. I never accepted it. However, over the 12 months I have seen him in person and online several times and I have grown to know and respect him. Thus, I was ready to accept the link. Meanwhile, he is dropping all the others who he did not develop a mutual understanding over the past two years. He agreed that while he did not originally see the power of a social media linking policy, he is now creating one of his own that will be similar to the "Coffee / Meal / Beer Rule".

When social media was new many users were horny to use it to connect to anyone. While there are some who will forever argue in favor of their orgy of useless contacts, all they are creating is a Phone Book. Sure you have names and contact information, but so what? You would not pick up a Phone Book and randomly begin dialing people to talk and calling them your "Friends", why is a link to a stranger any different?

Contrary to what some believe social media was never about numbers, it has always been about relationships. While the tools we use to communicate have changed, how we are wired as human beings and relate to others is not different. We long for connection, but it must be based on real emotions, not bits, bites and links.

Get past the lust to link to as anyone and everyone. Nothing beats a relationship. Keep it real.

Have A Great Day.

thom

Another Rant on Social Media Linking Policies - Job Search LinkedIn Mistake

I got the below question from a friend who is seeking to hire a few people for his growing software company.

Thom-

Here’s one for you. I currently have two jobs posted on LinkedIn and I’m in the process of interviewing candidates. Shortly after posting the job, I started receiving “join my network” invites from potential candidates applying for the job. I’ve also received “join my network” invites from candidates within hours of conducting their interview – kind of like a follow-up / thank you letter.

I have not accepted any of the requests as of yet – and certainly will not accept those I’ve never met.

If I were to follow your rule of ‘coffee/beer/meal’ – technically I’ve sat down and “talked” to the candidates I’ve interviewed. On the other hand, I will not be hiring all of them. In fact, I might not hire any of them. So, should I accept their request? I’m leaning towards not.

Advice?

Joe (Name Changed To Protect The Guilty)

Come on people.... do not send social media links to people you do not know. I could scream it from the rooftops, and still people think social media is "Speed Dating" for business. It is not that shallow. There has to be a reason to be connected to each other or it is just more noise.

Being interviewed by a person for a job does not necessarily create a legitimate business connection (it might, if you really hit it off with the person. However, if that happens you will most likely get the job!). I do not think a job interview is equal to the "Coffee / Meal / Beer Rule". Plus it can be awkward if the person hiring thinks you are a loser.

There are many who think it is smart to link like crazy to every stranger on the planet. Their foolish linking lust makes LinkedIn and other social media is a great big phone book full of strangers. It makes them feel good as they collect large numbers of "fake friends", but with no real foundation, it is all a fraud. Grrrrrrr.

The folks who are sending LinkedIn requests to hiring managers who they have never met, or to people who interviewed them (and do not select them for the job) are hurting their chances more than helping. It is ridiculous.

A LINKEDIN REQUEST IS NOT A THANK YOU NOTE. I told my friend never to hire any clown who sends a social media connection request instead of a real "Thank You Note" (oh God, here come the zealots who will attack me for my opinion, only seeing this issue from their own point of view. Leave comments on this post telling me how I "don't get it", but I warn you, if you are nasty and do not leave your name and a real link to your own blog I will not publish your mean spirited comments).

Remember, building real relationships is not about YOU and your social media policies / beliefs. Instead it is about how the other person wants to cultivate the relationship. Moving too fast is proof you are an amateur.

What do you think? Should my friend link to these job seekers who are hungry to be his buddy?

Have A Great Day.

thom

Social Media Linking Policy for LinkedIn and Facebook

Should you link to everyone on social media sites. Is a link to a stranger any better than having a phone book? Is a foundation of a relationship even necessary to call someone a "friend" on the internet?

Having a linking policy for LinkedIn and Facebook is a good idea.



Have A Great Day.

thom

Do I Have To Use Twitter?

While speaking at a luncheon, with an audience of small business owners, the discussion moved to the importance of social media. I was talking about having a strong internet presence and utilizing all the tools that are available to help promote their companies via the internet and mobile. It is important that everyone be aware how their clients, prospects, vendors and competitors are using the variety of tools available in cyberspace and beyond.

I had just spent five days at the South by Southwest (SXSW) Interactive Conference with 14,000 heavy social media users. While being emerged in the epicenter of social media, it seemed that the whole world lived in online and mobile social communities (Four Square and Gowalla were the darlings of SXSW --- Don't know what they are? Seems there are constantly new things we need to learn about).

But the truth is that many people are still on the sidelines when it comes to social media. Some think that it is a fad whose tentacles do not reach into their industry. Social media is NOT a fad!

Hands went up in the audience and there were abundant questions about LinkedIn, Facebook, Blogging, etc.... Then one professional raised his hand and said, with trepidation, "Do I have to use Twitter?"

No. You do not have to use Twitter. You do not have to use any tools (I would assume you don't HAVE to use a telephone if you don't want to), but some tools will make you more productive and help you expand your personal and professional brand. The realities are that for many, Twitter has no impact on their world. Their clients, prospects, employees, and others in their orbit are not on Twitter.

But that does not mean anyone should ignore Twitter, or anything else that becomes widely adopted. Several years ago I would have told you that LinkedIn was a useful tool, but not necessary. Today it is a widely accepted tool. Not being on LinkedIn could leave you looking out of touch if someone is seeking a fast way to learn more about you. In today's crazy / busy world we are looking for ways to connect with others. People want to do business with those they know, like and trust. We expect to be able to find information quickly so we can speed up the "getting to know you" part. Without "know", you cannot ever get to "like" and "trust".

If you have never looked at Twitter (or the other popular social media tools) you must become informed. Never dismiss anything as a waste of time because you do not understand it or "assume" it is not for you. Knowledge is key. If you find that nobody you work with is using a tool, then you can move on. But you never want to wake up and find that your competition has staked a claim to a community where your customers actively participate, as you may never catch up.

Twitter is useful for some, and a waste for others. The only way to know the answer is to do the research. The same thing is true for all the available tools and communities that are popping up online and via your smart phone. Being "too busy" is a lame excuse and just might lead you to being "less busy" in the future.

Have A Great Day.

thom

The Misrepresenation of the Power of Social Media

A friend of mine joined a "LinkedIn Group" recently that has over 1500 local members. Upon joining she received a message from the group's owner with tips on how a member could get the most from their participation in the online forum.

Most of the tips were useful. Having a digital link to someone or "joining" an online community means nothing if you are not actively engaged and participate (just like meeting someone once at a networking event means little if you do not cultivate an ongoing relationship).

The part of the message that I call into question was tip #5"

5. If you'd like to increase your personal network be sure to link to [name withheld] directly,I have more than 12 million connections, and will gladly share them with you.

This is ridiculous. 12 million connections???? I am sure he is close with each and every one of them. His Christmas card postage bill must be enormous!

Being part of LinkedIn brings with it the unprecedented ability to research people and discover paths toward making connections, but being more than one person removed limits the power of the network. Anyone who looks at their inflated LinkedIn Network Number and thinks it has real value is either misguided or trying to inflate their own "coolness factor".

This would be similar to living in the Los Angeles area and saying you have direct contact with millions of people in your network because you have a copy of the phone book. Come on people, contacting those people via random meaningless links in a social media environment is akin to a cold call!

LinkedIn tells me that I have nearly 7 million people in my network, but you will NEVER hear me tell anyone that equals my network. That would be a misrepresentation of the power of social networking.

I do not link to people in LinkedIn with whom I have not had a meaningful interaction. Most often this means a personal conversation that goes beyond meeting at a networking event and trading business card. I prefer to sit down and have a cup of coffee, lunch, or a beer (or the "digital equivalent") with someone before I link to them on LinkedIn (or Facebook). I verify we like each other and have a legitimate relationship rather than just having a bunch of links.

We are still in the early stages of how we can use these online tools to help advance our careers and assist other people (never forget that the universe of people online are not there to serve your personal needs... it is a two way street!).

I am sure I will get the usual "hate mail" from people with a different view on the subject who have 10,000+ contacts on LinkedIn and have made a million dollars a year while working from home. Ok, whatever. But I believe that online networking is no different from face-to-face networking. It is about establishing and cultivating meaningful relationships over the long run. This is about more than being "linked".

Have A Great Day.

thom

Networking Slut

I again have encountered a person who has tried to "school me" on the correct way to use LinkedIn and Facebook. This is a person I had never met in person (but whom lives in Austin and has some mutual connections) who sent me a Facebook request, and then was upset that I ignored the random contact.

I have written on this blog several times, and stated nearly every speech I gave last year, that I have a LinkedIn and Facebook personal policy for accepting links. The policy is that I do not accept links or friend requests from anyone I have not spent an hour with (or the digital equivalent). I call it the “coffee, lunch or beer rule”. While I have made some exceptions to this policy, for the most part I have come to know everyone with whom I am connected to in LinkedIn and Facebook.

Facebook has lots of more personal friends, but I am willing to mix in those I know from business, too. As long as they don't mind my old fraternity brothers posting some party pics from the 1980s (YES, I did wear those red pants with my blue blazer to a sorority dance....this was circa 1986). Fortunately most of the photos are tame as I was sort of a goodie-goodie with a fake ID (think Richie Cunningham).

Meeting a person does not make them part of your network…it makes them someone you have met. There is a HUGE difference between one quick meeting and getting to know a person on a personal level and establishing cause to move forward with a business or professional relationship.

Think about dating. If your husband or wife proposed to you the night you met you would have thought them a FREAK. Same is true in business. You need to have established a meaningful connection before making it more permanent. An ongoing digital link to every person who you ever encounter (in person or online) would dilute the power of the links you do have to those whom you have legitimate relationships.

I don’t negatively judge those who want “Free Link” with everyone they meet (social online media / networking is still very new, so many people use the tools in different ways)…. but I am tired of those people thinking I am somehow WRONG for having a policy of limiting my contacts to people I know, like and trust. While I like to network, I am not a networking slut.

Not everyone is going to like everyone else in this world. That's okay. Why should I have to accept a link to someone who is a jerk?

I did not "dislike" the person who prompted this post when she first sent her request. However, after she told me "I just don't believe you understand how online networking works" (ummmm, no..I am not going to say what just popped into my mind), I find her to be rude.... and thus someone I would never want in my Facebook Friends List.

Have A Great Day.

thom

My Social Media Linking Policies

Do you have a policy for connecting online?

Do you accept every link request that is sent to you on LinkedIn and Facebook?

Do you follow back everyone who follows you on Twitter?

For as many people who have accounts on social media / online networking sites there are equally as many ways that people view how to get the best value out of these tools.

I find it interesting when people get mad that others do not "friend" them, or "follow" them. I think it is a personal choice on how you use these tools, and we should respect others personal space - just as we should in the face-to-face environments.

While I participate in other communities, LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter are the main ones for me at this point in time.

My Social Media Policies:

LinkedIn and Facebook-

I see LinkedIn as the business / professional world, and Facebook as my personal / social world. However, in both cases I do not accept connections from people whom I have never met before.

I get a lot of requests from people who have read my books or have seen me give a speech. While I am honored that these folks want to get to know me and reach out via the online communities, I cannot accept links from anyone I do not know.

In my opinion having links to strangers dilutes the power of my network. I want everyone that I am connected to to be the type of contact who would take my telephone call should I ring them up.

Thus I have the "Beer, Coffee or Lunch Rule". I will not accept a connection request from anyone whom I have not sat down with face-to-face for an hour. After we spend an hour together I believe that we can both decide if there is a reason to build a friendship. It gives us a foundation.

Now, that is easy for people who live in my hometown of Austin, Texas. I realize that our world is not longer just centered on the local, and thus I have what I call "The Digital Equivilent". There comes a point when you get to know someone via email, blogging, Twitter, phone, etc... where you feel you know them as well as you might if you had breakfast together.

Old names from high school and college tend to pop up a lot on Facebook. I love reconnecting with those who were my friends, but my policy holds true. We had to really have spent time together way back when. If we did not really hang out or have classes together (or mutual close friends), then I will most likely not link to them now.

Former co-workers who show up on LinkedIn are subject to the same rule. Just having been employed by the same company does not make someone a contact. We had to have really worked together (would we know each one another if we saw each other in the airport? - would we care?)

Twitter-

Twitter is a different animal. People can follow each other on Twitter without mutual permission. But Twitter can also become unmanageable. While there are lots of Twitter Tools that can help you categorize and sort out the noise, I find it easier to simply only follow those whom I have a reason to follow.

This is controversial and some people get offended quickly if they follow you and you do not follow them. Umm, get over it. I only want followers who are interested in what I might have to say. If I am their "noise", for the love of God, I hope they un-follow me.

Twitter is not about the numbers. Many really worry if they do not have enough followers, but it is really about creating a community.

I follow back most everyone who lives in Austin, as the odds of meeting them around town (we do lots of Tweet Ups in Austin) are very high.

I also follow back business authors and professional speakers - or anyone whose description or website captivates me.

Those who regularly communicate with me directly via Twitter will most likely be added to my list too. And for sure those I meet in person at conferences, etc... I will follow back for sure.

***********

There are billions of people in the world and we are not capable of having connections to everyone. Creating too many online connections takes away from the power of the real relationships you have developed.

My advice to others is that you need to have your own policies (I wont judge you as "right" or "wrong" if you wont judge others!). Having such policies makes it easy for you to decide with whom to have connections and how to communicate with others. Sure, there are those with whom you will link that do not meet your criteria - but you want to anyway - that is okay, as it is your rule, you can bend it when you see fit!

Have A Great Day

thom

It's 10:00....Do You Know Where Your Employees Are?

Are you aware of what messages your staff members are sending out via email and other online social media tools? What are they saying to your prospects? More thought provoking, however, is what images are they portraying on their blogs, Facebook, MySpace pages and other online sites?

All of this impacts the reputation of your company. If you are not thinking about this, you might be in for a big surprise.


The below is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the guilty, but I wish I could link you to the real websites and show you the name of the company this cheeseball works for....but alas, I want to behave with class (unlike our friend in this sordid tale).

While this might be an extreme example, similar things are going on all over the place. If you own a company, or manage people, you need to be aware of what your employees are doing in the online environment...both when officially representing your business and beyond. That being said, there is a lot of positive things happening in the world of online social networking and we can (and should) learn a lot from the Millennial generation . How you properly utilize this digital world can make big difference in the success of your business. Social Media is here to stay and it would be short sighted to assume that the negatives outweigh the positives.

********************************

A business professional, Ms. Smith, who works for a fast-growing company received the below email from a service provider (We will call him "Jimmy Jones" from "Acme Company") whom she had never met. The subject line was Acme Company vs. Brand X. Brand X is a reputable and well known company who provides quality services for Ms. Smith's organization.

Dear Ms. Smith,

I understand that you have or are currently working with Brand X. Are they doing everything you would like them to do to? Are you happy with the ROI they are producing? Are they able to tie Productivity directly to your bottom line? Are they working with Managers to mitigate risk and develop the infrastructure needed to grow?

Ms. Smith, I'm not sure if the Acme Company is the answer to your prayers, but I do know that we have the Expertise and Resources you are looking for, for typically about Half the cost of a single employee.

Do you have 15 minutes for us to stop by your office? I am confident that you will see value in the Services we provide. When is a good day for you? Please let me know.

Jimmy Jones
Director of Sales
Acme Company

Ms Smith was appalled to receive such an email from someone who wanted to earn her business. It is not a good business practice to try to attack a trusted service provider no matter what magic bells and whistles your company might offer. Always sell on your own merits, don't do a side by side comparison or attack. This guy is learning his sales techniques from the 2008 presidential election: Hillary Clinton vs. Barak Obama.....John McCain vs. Mitt Romney. Yike Jimmy...get a clue.

A simple Google search produced Jimmy's MySpace page, which takes us to a whole new level of interest in Jimmy and his employer:

Jimmy is 23 years old and recently out of college. His MySpace page is covered with Playboy Bunnies, sexy models (hello cleavage) and other sexually oriented innuendos. Video clips from from random pop-culture movies are posted, including a clip of someone smoking pot from a bong. His screen nickname is "Chick Magnet 345" (not the real name, but equally as cheesy), and all of his 173 "online friends" are young attractive women pictured in sexy clothes or party boys holding beers....with messages asking him about the latest parties...."Cheers!"

I could go on with the description, but you wouldn't believe me. The most amusing part is that he has his company's logo and name (and his income level) readily posted for all to see. It also states he was a business finance major in college...but apparently his school did not teach anything about behaving in a professional manner in the real world. Oh, did I mention he lists "binge drinking" amongst his interests and "Pants Off - Dance Off" amongst his favorite TV Shows (Good Lord, I don't even know what that is).

Additionally Jimmy had no profile on LinkedIn or any other professional online networking sites. Just the MySpace profile, which I am sure Ms. Smith (and most other grown-up women) would find offensive.

I imagine that Jimmy's boss would be horrified about both his out going email to the prospect and his childish MySpace page with the company logo just below the bust line of the stripper's picture. I am also fairly confident his mother would not be pleased either.

This brings up some interesting points to ponder. If you are an employer and have a staff of twenty-somethings working for you, have you educated them on proper sales techniques? Is sending an email like this really a good tactic? Have you ever considered how your staff is using your logo and company information on the internet? When someone chooses to post a public profile on a site like MySpace, does their boss have a right to be concerned about the image it puts forward for their company? Lots to think about on this topic. Is this a generational issue, or does Jimmy need to grow up if he is going to be a sales manager in the business community?

Yes, I swear on a stack of bibles...all of this is true. Only the names have been changed.

Do you know a "Jimmy"? ...... Are you a "Jimmy"? ..... Do you employ a "Jimmy"? Or am I just an old guy who is out of touch?

Have A Great Day.

thom
http://www.thomsinger.com/

PS - If you are under 40 years old, you many not get the title of this post. That's okay, I don't know what "Pants Off - Dance Off" is all about either!

I'm On LinkedIn -- Now What?

I am long overdue in writing this book review, as if anyone deserves the kudos it is new author Jason Alba. "I'm On LinkedIn - - Now What?" is a book for EVERYONE who has looked at social media / on-line networking and felt dumbfounded or overwhelmed.

The world has changed a lot over the last decade. Ten years ago many of you had limited access to the internet, now I assume you live and die by your high speed connections. Think about sitting in the waiting area of an airport in 1995. You sat. Maybe you read. Perhaps you talked to the person next to you. Now many of you are connected to your laptop, blackberry or other mobile device. When you cannot get a wireless signal you feel put out. Oh, the horror of it all.

With all the changes have come new and important products and services that did not even exist a few years ago. Some of these are hard to understand their importance, as they are still morphing in how they are being adopted by the masses.

LinkedIn is one such on-line service that many people still do not understand or properly utilize. Jason Alba has written a great educational reference guide to help those who are new to LinkedIn, or unsure of how to use it to their full advantage.

The book is only 110 pages long, but it is packed with useful information and tips to strengthen you online presence. While the book focuses on LinkedIn as a tool, much of the information is transferable to all online services. His advice on how to manage your visibility is right on the money and will lead you to more opportunities in your career.

I have come to know Jason over the past 18 months, and consider him a good friend, although we have only met in person once. Jason is the master at building true friendships via the internet. He lives every word that he writes in this book.

I am honored that he thanks me in the "Acknowledgements" in the front of the book, as I think it is I who should be acknowledging him for all he has taught me!

Have A Great Day.

thom

http://www.thomsinger.com/

More On My LinkedIn Rant

If you missed my post last Thursday, I was riled up by a stranger who had requested me to link to them via LinkedIn who insulted me when I declined the invitation. I asked for comments and challenged other bloggers to write about their feelings about how to utilize social networking relationships.

Wow, this was great. The post got 14 comments as of this morning (15 if you count the one from me!) and my email was buzzing with friends chiming in with opinions.

I especially liked a comment that disagreed with me, but in a respectful manner. You see, people have the right to disagree, they should just not take cheap shots and call me "selfish":

"In the world of business EVERY contact counts. It can link you to a very important prospect, thus improving your business. While I can understand the need to just have people you actually know on your LinkedIn connections, I believe you are missing a wonderful opportunity to meet and connect with people that may not have been there before (-:"

I can see his point, and that of others who share this view. LinkedIn has been especially useful to recruiters, who link to as many folks as they can so they can create a database of potential candidates. (I would accept links from recruiters I have not met, as they trade in connecting opportunities). I just feel that I have no way of knowing whom is a good contact and who is useless without personally knowing them. Thus a lot of links just cloud the diamonds in the pile and thus dull the sparkle of a great network.

I still believe this argument of quantity of contacts is like the guy at a live networking event who pops around the room aggressively handing out his business card. His thought is, "it is a numbers game, and if I pass it out enough cards I might actually meet and connect with someone who needs my product or service."

If you have networked enough you have encountered this type of obnoxious person who just shoves their card in your hand without having had a conversation and built rapport. This is how I see the stranger with the link request. It makes me feel like a "number" in his "numbers game" where the prize for him to find the needle in his haystack.

"Rant Part 2" is not to proclaim to the world that I am right and others are wrong. Instead, I believe each person can manage their LinkedIn connections in whatever manner they see fit. My desire is that LinkedIn works for them as a productive tool. I desire that everyone finds success in this world. It is not a zero sum game, but a "link request" is just that....a REQUEST (not a DEMAND). If someone you do not know (or heck, maybe someone you do know) declines a connection, have class and respect for their views on this subject.

Thank you to all who commented and blogged on this topic. Keep the discussion alive and chime in! There are no right answers....but respectful discussion helps us all learn!

Have A Great Day.

thom

LinkedIn Rant - And A Challenge To Bloggers

Yesterday I was asked to connect on LinkedIn by someone I have never met before. I have read his blog (which is intelligent), but we have never corresponded with one another.

A few years ago I made the decision to only link to people via Linked In with whom I had a real business relationships. Because of my being a professional motivational speaker, I tend to meet large groups of people at one time (which often follows with LinkedIn requests from some in the audience), so I modified my LinkedIn protocol to only include folks with whom I have shared a meal or a beer. (I do make exceptions to this policy when I have corresponded in a Web 2.0/Social Media/Twitter/MySpace/FaceBook/Plaxo kinda way and feel a real connection or friendship has been established).

My point is that I want my connections on LinkedIn to actually be people I know personally. I want to feel I can freely call on them to make a legitimate introduction to another person in my network should the need arise. I do not want to have some arbitrary link to a stranger. I feel these links undermine the legitimacy of the network.

Anyway, I declined the LinkedIn invitation with the following:

"Dear_______,

I really like your blog. I do not add anyone to Linked In that I have not eaten a meal or had a beer with. OR, someone I really get to know well via internet, blog, etc...

I hope we stay in touch and can get to know each other, as I would love to add you to my linked in. I hope you understand.

thom"

I thought that was polite (maybe I am wrong), and I immediately received the following response:

"no problem by me whatsoever, but i disagree with your approach to linked in. linkedin is not a closed protected garden of contacts. it's a way to network with NEW people. the web is about sharing. you're not sharing and that's cool."

I am not sure how to react to this response. I am offended and feel I am being schooled by some guy I have never met who seems to feel very superior to me in the LinkedIn world. Is the web about sharing in all circumstances? I understand that people have different views on how to link to people on social networking sites, but I cannot believe that an hour earlier he sent me a note that read:

"Hi, after reviewing your background, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn"

It sounded friendly and professional, but did he really mean:

"After reviewing your background I decided you could be beneficial to ME. I will never respect nor care about you or your beliefs, desires and opinions. I want to scan your contacts and see if there is anyone there who would be useful to ME. You see, I view LinkedIn as my personal tool to connect to strangers around the globe because if you are on LinkedIn, you are required to share with me, even though you do not know me. If you disagree, I will call you selfish. I want NEW people to call my own...AKA, I want YOUR people."

The funny thing is that if he had tried to connect on MySpace, FaceBook, or Twitter I would have gladly accepted the invitation, as I have different personal policies that I use on those sites.

This is the one where I want comments galore. Do not be passive, jump in the game today and leave your thoughts. I want other bloggers to write about this topic. Even if you disagree with me, I want to hear what you think about social networking sites and how your personal linking policy works. Are your contacts your real friends or just random digital links to people you know nothing about. What makes these services valuable, and what drives you crazy about LinkedIn (and the rest).

I challenge every blogger who reads this to chime in with his two cents on my dilemma on his or her blog. Come on, you know you were hoping to find a subject to blog about today anyway...make this your topic...leave the chorus and sing your solo about how you link, or don't link. Scream from the hilltops.

I will give a free copy of both my books, "Some Assembly Required" (second edition) and "The ABC's of Networking" to the first five people to email me at thom@thomsinger.com with a link to your new blog post with your opinions of social networking linking. That is two books that would cost some cashola on Amazon.com....FREE.... (please include your address in the email so I know where to send the books!).

Have A Great Day
and thank you for reading this rant!

thom

LinkedIn Growing By Leaps And Bounds

I have no scientific proof that LinkedIn is having a huge membership surge. I have not read any articles, done any research or channelled the spirits of networking gurus of days past. But something is happening with the worlds most popular online business social networking mega website.

I know this because in the last two weeks I have been overrun with more than a dozen invitations to join people's networks. In many of these cases the people are new to LinkedIn. Networking is alive and well, both online and in the real world!!!

As of today, I have 144 contacts on the site. Granted, I know many more people, but I do not instigate connections in LinkedIn. Of those who I am connected with, I have probably invited five. Since joining the service in December 2003 I have never been an active linker. But I do welcome invites by others.

I do have one rule....I must actually know the person. With few exceptions, I have sat down and had coffee, lunch or a beer....in person....with everyone in my network. To link to people that one does not really have a meaningful relationship deludes the value of the LinkedIn service. I do have some virtual friends I have met through blogging, but have had many email conversations with them before accepting their request to link.

When I speak to groups around the country about the power of having a network, the number one question I get during Q&A is about the online social networking sights. Some are huge fans who link to anyone and everyone.....others are skeptical. My belief is that these sights are useful tools for everyone, but that they cannot replace in-person human interaction.

I often get emails from people whom I have never met or who heard my networking seminar presentation, but did not speak with me directly. I decline these connections (sorry).

I think that more people are realizing that having connections and cultivating those connections are an important tool for their own success, and thus they are discovering the tools necessary to become better at business relationships.

Have A Great Day.

thom
www.thomsinger.com