Wednesday, December 30, 2015

How To Change Yourself (It is not easy!!!)

I want to make some big changes in 2016, but it is not easy to recreate yourself and to actually implement a new direction.

Self-realization and creating real "do-overs" is hard on so many levels.  Behaviors and points of view get ingrained and making adjustments is difficult.  Most people are quick to publicly announce the flaws of others and want those to be fixed, but few put the spotlight on themselves.  This internal examination can sting, so we prefer to focus elsewhere.

The blind spots are the worst part.  I try to examine myself, but one simply cannot see your own shortcomings (and it is not fun to find the flaws).  When others say things (to my face or behind my back) I try to accept it as input information.  My desire is to be slow to anger and fast to forgive towards other people and to see if there is anything I can learn from in their critiques.

In dealing with professional and personal challenges the last few years I have become aware of areas I would like to improve.  I really have a deep desire to be more effective at my work and in life and to serve the people I encounter.  There is hurt inside when you know you have failed in some manner.  

A difficulty in taking on personal change is that you cannot do it alone, and yet others are not really able to help.  Most people in your life will not realize the change.  If they do you will not always appreciate that they do see your efforts as positive.  Too often when people have judged you and have an opinion, they will not give you a second chance.  

For me, in seeking personal growth, it is clear that I must get the validation of my efforts from inside.  If I expect others to congratulate me for my efforts then I will be constantly disappointed.  The motivation for my change must be 100% inside.

This process, to be successful, means I have to be surrounded with others who seek to grow and change.  The people you associate with have a huge impact on the person you become.  I have been fortunate throughout my life to have some people around me who exemplified support and encouragement.  But I have also had some relationships that were toxic.  An inventory of who you spend time with is paramount to success.

In reading about change, most who write about this are clear to point out that you will have times when you slip back into old patterns.  Being a human being is not easy, and ego and emotions cloud the whole process.  I am guilty of this, and I need to get over myself.

I am launching the "Cool Things Project" in January.  This group coaching program is a spin off from my "Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do" podcast, and am seeking to facilitate and ongoing group of individuals who are sharing this path to make positive change in their lives.  I am hoping as I work to better my own journey, I can also be someone who creates a community of people who will be a support system to all involved.

I am excited about 2016.  Challenged, but excited.  

Have A Great Day

thom singer

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