The Week of Living Introvert

There is much in the news lately about introverts and extroverts.  It seems that people on either side often look down on those on the other end of the spectrum.  Extroverts do not understand the issue, as they like people and crowds.  Introverts feel our society unfairly celebrates the extrovert.

Susan Cain's best selling book, Quiet, has gotten a lot of attention, as has her TED talk.  She is smart, and I read the book with much interest.  It is well written and full of understandable research.  But a bit snarky.  As an extrovert her examples of the "Culture of Personality" (of which I do not disagree with her points) is clearly written in a way to subtlety make introverts feel better while kicking the extroverts in the shin.  That said, I am happy to have read the book, as it has helped me better grasp this issue.

I have been presenting on the topic of business relationships for several years, and I have always contended that introverts are better at networking if they really understood what it was to network.  I do not have Cain's academic research - but after meeting close to ten of thousand people at business events over the years I have observed how folks interact.

While teaching a staff development class on "Connecting People in a Social Media Crazy World" a participant shared with me how much pain it causes her to go to business events.  Since I find them naturally fun, I spent time with this woman trying to understand.  In the end, I realize that no matter who we are, it is hard to push out of our comfort zone.

Thus I was inspired to spend a work week living as an introvert.  I challenged myself behave counter to my natural extrovert manner.  The purpose was to see what it is like to be asked to be something that is your default demeanor.  I know that some of my decisions were "stereotypical", and the whole experiment was not perfect, but I discovered a fresh perspective and am hopefully more empathetic towards others who find the extroverted world harder to navigate.

Day 1.  Monday.

I started off by scanning my social media accounts.  A friend said something interesting and I immediately hit the "like" button.  But should I have done that?  To instantly like his post lets him know I am reading it and possibly engages this person and others.  Certainly it draws attention.  It was only 7:00 AM and I wondered if I have already failed in my attempt to live more like an introvert.  I decided to close out social media and read a book for a half hour.

Later I had to meet with a coaching client.  I decided while working with a paying client I should not be involved in an experiment, thus I behaved in my normal ways.

Day 2.  Tuesday.

I decided to not post on Twitter or Facebook during this time, other than Birthday wishes.  But I found that I naturally want to click the "like" button as a way to show support for things others share.  But I figured many introverts would not do that, so I resisted the urge.  (What do you think?  Do introverts hit the "like" button less than extroverts?).  I did comment on a thread on the National Speakers Association Facebook page, but was not sure an introvert would have jumped into the conversation (old habits die hard).

I had planned to attend a MeetUp Happy Hour, but at the end of the day I was very tired.  It was a group of 100% strangers and normally I would have enjoyed meeting new people, but I decided not to attend.  Instead I chose a quiet night at home reading and watching TV with my family.

Day 3.  Wednesday.

I was on a panel for a meeting of the Austin Chapter of the National Speakers Association. I worked on being a little less "out front" as I normally might be while on a panel.  I went to the table and ate my breakfast while others were networking.  Interestingly, nobody comes and talks to the person eating alone.  Once the panel started I tried to let my fellow panelists answer first on each question.

Later I went to lunch alone and read my book in the corner of the restaurant.  I put my ear-buds in, although I was not listening to music.  I have found that people leave you alone when you have head-phones on and are not making eye contact.

Spent the night at home finishing some work and hanging out with the family.

Day 4.  Thursday.

Started the day at the "Social Media Breakfast".  I kept asking myself "W.W.I.D.?" (What would and introvert do?).  I arrived and talked to some people I knew, then sat alone at a table.  Interestingly nobody I did not already know came and spoke with me (I usually would start conversations with others).  Eventually a couple of folks I know well joined me at the table.  The experience made me appreciate extroverts who will come up and talk.... but I wonder if introverts hate that as much as I enjoyed it?

I did Tweet out a bit at this meeting... as it was "The Social Media Breakfast".

I worked from home the rest of the day.  I had a lot to do, but I usually enjoy the busy flow of people walking past when I work at a Starbucks.  Not this day.

Day 5.  Friday.

I had breakfast with a friend who is a very big and bold personality.  I decided this was not the time to be introverted.

Later that day I attended a high school football game (my daughter is on the dance team).  I do not know many of the other parents, and did not attempt to talk to strangers.  I sat close to my wife and watched the game.

***********

I am happy that I spent this week living more as an introvert.  I discovered that it is not easy to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, and thus understand the difficulties that introverts face when being more social at business events than they may prefer.  The experience of the "Week of Living Introvert" is already finding its way into my presentations and is sparking some good discussion with the audiences.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

If Oprah and Michael Jordan Can Find Success.... So Can The Rest of Us

RT (from twitter) @DavisHillAustin- Never let anyone tell you that you "Can't". Go get the training and figure out a plan - so you can prove to the world that you "CAN".

My 8th grade English teacher (Mrs. Nicholidas) told me I did not belong in the advanced class because she did not feel I fully grasped the nuances of grammar. When I said I wanted to write books in my future... she told me it would not happen for me.

Well, she was wrong... I have penned 9 non-fiction books (with a 10th in the works and a contributed chapter in the National Speakers Associations new book "Speak More").  While I never claim to be the world's greatest writer on the planet, people seem to find value in some of my words.  And hundreds read my blog each week.  Maybe I am not a "great" writer... but she was wrong... I am "good enough"!!!  Plus, an editor and a proof reader come in handy when finishing a book. 

Her words were hurtful, really, as I spent 20+ years wishing and not doing ...when it came to writing.  And because of her I have never yet tried my hand at writing fiction.

I think of all the kids out there who have teachers with their own issues (chips on their shoulders?) who make them feel bad or discouraged..... and I hope they can prove them wrong by finding their own way to shine.  

We can't have a "do-over".... and I while I wish I could go back and kick my own butt a little to get some direction earlier, we have to work from where we are now.  I cannot change that teacher's words, but I can prove her wrong.  

Author John Assaraf posted a visual graphic online the other day that talked about "Famous Failures"...

• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team

• Walt Disney was let go from a newspaper for lacking imagination

• The Beatles were rejected by Decca Recording Studio and told they had no future in the business

• Steve Jobs was fired from Apple

and my favorite... 

• Oprah Winfrey was demoted from her job as a TV anchor because "she wasn't fit for television"

Ha.... These reminded me of how some who should be "experts" often have opinions that are so wrong it is just silly.  Can you imagine being at a dinner party with the guy who told Oprah she would not cut it in TV?  I assume that is not how he kicks off his elevator pitch.  

Never let those who want to kill your dreams win!!!!

Have A Great Day.

thom singer  

Cool Things My Friends Do - Marc Miller Gives Career Advice To Baby Boomers

Each Friday on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their work and personal lives.   

Marc Miller is a baby boomer who is not waiting silently for retirement.  Marc is blazing a path forward and helping others deal with the changes in the world of work.

His career journey included 22 years at IBM, several thriving tech startups, a painful stint as a high school teacher, a gig raising funds for the Jewish Community Association of Austin and a near fatal bicycle accident that changed his perspective forever.

On a July morning in 2002, he was riding his bicycle and hit a car head on where the combined speeds exceeded 50 mph. After five days in a trauma center he was up on crutches, within ten weeks was back on a bicycle, and four months later was traveling internationally on business after surviving an accident that has a 10% survival rate. That gave him a new perspective on life.

Today Marc Miller is the founder of CareerPivot.  He consults with Baby Boomers who are unsure of what they desire from their careers, and helps them find their passion.  Many feel trapped in their jobs and are unsure and overwhelmed by the thought of change.  

I have been very impressed with the precision and planning that Marc has put into launching his company.  He deeply cared about doing it right, and cares even more about his clients.  He has become a leading authority on the subject of Baby Boomers and their future in the workforce.  

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Events With Multiple Presenters - A Guest Blog Post by Paul Grabowski

Presentations with Multiple Presenters – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

By Paul Grabowski

Recently, I attended two separate presentations for my daughter’s schools. As one is entering middle school and the other entering the uncharted waters of high school, both meetings were of particular importance to me.

Sitting through these two presentations gave me pause to think about what it takes to put together a program using multiple presenters. It also allowed me to relate these to the “business world” (well, running a school is now just like running a business, so there was a great deal of correlation) and how drastically different these presentations affected the audience.

What time are we presenting? Does everyone know?

Outside of the two presentations providing valuable information, this was where the correlation ended. One meeting at one school had been given three separate starting times. One time was provided by the calendar on the website, another time by email to all parents, and finally a third through an announcement earlier in the day at yet another parent meeting. The other presentation was set by email, on the parent portal and posted on the message board in the school driveway – all with the same starting time.

Knowing that everyone’s time is taken during the day and we live by our Outlook calendars, the changes in times caused great consternation and juggling of schedules. Just like the business world, it is important that if you plan to have a presentation or meeting, it is equally as important to schedule a time and stick to it. Moreover, communication and delivery of the message should be checked and controlled by one individual so that those attending know who is leading the meeting. There is nothing worse than having people attend a presentation or program who come in with a negative feeling about the presenters before the information is even disseminated.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, Practice, Practice

When a presentation is given by multiple people, it is imperative that you practice as a group. Practice does not just include making sure the slides are correct but also making sure that those presenting keep to the time allotted. If a program is scheduled for one hour and there are four presenters, each should be given a maximum of 15 minutes if you plan for no question and answer period. However, if a program is one that will inevitably invite questions, the presenters should prepare for this in advance and adjust their timing accordingly.

It is equally important to discuss amongst the presenters in advance the order of speaking and include this in the opening remarks along with each presenter’s topic. For example, in one of the presentations, the overall topic was information for parents of freshman regarding their roles and expectations as well as the academic requirements placed upon the students by the school. The order of the presentation began with a discussion about the parent council but was followed by the head of school on various topics. While we were told in our email, school calendar and announcement earlier in the day that the program would last one hour, when we were beyond that time frame with only the second speaker, the audience began to lose interest. By the time the academic dean began to speak, many in the audience were reading the materials and many had left.

Another note on practice is to check out the room in advance. Just as the PowerPoint needs to be accurate and working, it is equally important to know the condition of the room in advance. Are the microphones working and is there a back-up, is there someone from IT available to assist with technical issues, and (if you happen to be in the South in August) is someone from maintenance available in the event that the air conditioning is not working or similar issues.

Don’t Assume that having a title means that everyone knows you

With both presentations, there were multiple speakers. Never assume that everyone in the room knows who you are before you begin speaking. As a teacher once told me, “when you come back for reunion, always re-introduce yourself. I have had hundreds of students since the last time I yelled at you to turn in your homework!” The same goes for giving a presentation to any audience.

In one of the presentations, the first speaker got up, introduced herself and then ran through the list of names and titles of the others who would be speaking and a brief description of their topic. This is the best way to get a presentation started as the audience knows what to expect and who will be speaking on that topic. In the other presentation, two of the speakers started without ever introducing themselves. For those who were new in the audience you could see them leaning over and asking others who was speaking. This inevitably leads to further questions and comments among the audience and a lack of attention on the subject matter.

Always take the time to re-introduce yourself to the audience. If nothing else, it makes it easier for them to follow-up with specific questions on topics presented. For presentations with multiple presenters, having someone take the lead in providing an overview of speakers names, titles and topics, allows the audience to follow along and know what to expect.

Conclusion

Knowing your audience is only half the battle when putting together a presentation. Particularly when there are multiple presenters, it is always best to take the approach of putting yourself in the shoes of those who will be listening. Have we communicated the important information correctly in advance? What should we expect from a technical and room set-up perspective? How can we frame our presentation so that it is effective, on time and provides accurate information? Did we miss anything? Answering all these questions can help make for a better, more effective presentation and leave the audience with a good impression. 

Notice People and Help Them With Something

My friend Tim Tyrell-Smith has a post on his Tim's Strategy blog that got me thinking.  His post is called "Three Good Deeds: Going Noticed".

Many people go through their day being UN-noticed. No one pays much attention as you proceed in your daily activities. Yes, those that you planned to meet with or talk with along the way are aware of your presence, but most who cross our path work hard not to make eye contact.

Tim tells three stories of how he "noticed" those around him one day. You should understand that Tim is a nice guy who cares about people, so I am not surprised by his kind actions.  But aren't most people nice? Don't most of us care about others?  Sure, there are some jerks out there, but even they often think they are nice.

In a recent conversation with a new friend who is very successful in his career and his life -  he said he was adamant that the more he gives, the more he gets.  I concur.  People often tell me they are frustrated that they can't "get a break"... but upon deeper discussion it becomes clear they rarely go out of their way to serve others. We live in a busy world and the pressure to get our own stuff done can be overwhelming.  But if we want others to do for us, we should show them what we mean through our own actions.

My friend Neen James (who is a fantastic speaker and productivity consultant) says she never lets her head hit the pillow without referring someone to another person who could benefit from that person's services. That is 365 outbound referrals a year (maybe she takes Christmas day off... but I doubt it!). She does not receive nearly that many inbound referrals... but she get a ton of business sent her way and everyone who knows Neen sings her praises.

We are all busy.  I am busy.  But the more we give, the more we get... even if the gift we end up with is that feeling of knowing we did the right thing.  Make somebody feel significant.  We all want to feel that way, but we cannot be significant alone in a field.  We need each other.  I call this "Cooperative Significance".  When you make other know their value.. you, too, find significance. 

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do: Josh DeFord - The Global Human Progress Foundation

Each Friday on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their work and personal lives.  


My friend Josh DeFord cares. In 2009 he helped found the Global Human Progress Foundation with his friend Anaclet Barega. Anaclet had grown up in DR Congo and moved his family to Austin, Texas in 2006 where he met Josh.

After working together for a couple of years Anaclet and Joshua developed a lasting friendship. Joshua began learning about the immense suffering Anaclet's friends and neighbors were forced to endure in Africa. Anaclet suggested to Joshua that they start an organization to build schools and help address areas of suffering in DR Congo.

This was the birth of the Global Human Progress Foundation, a 501 (C) 3.

In the spring of 2012 Josh and Anaclet took a trip to Africa to visit the two schools in DR Congo they have helped support.  The story of their adventure through the war torn region is like a movie.  To hear Josh recount the two weeks in Africa is an amazing story in human suffering and endurance.  His photos, videos and first hand accounts of the lives of the people in this part of the world is unlike anything most Americans will ever encounter.

Anaclet did not return to Austin.  He became ill and died while in his native land, leaving behind a wife and three children in Austin.

Josh is heart broken over the loss of his friend, but he is not letting this tragedy sideline his desire to help those in need.  He is looking to share his story and raise money to fund the two schools the foundation already supports, and to possibly start a third school.

If your organization in Austin, Texas is looking for a speaker.... Contact Josh at joshua (at) globalhumanprogress.org.  His recounting of the trip to Africa will leave your audience in awe of the conditions of those living in this part of the world.  If you are seeking a way to make an impact... Contact Josh at joshua (at) globalhumanprogress.org.  The organization is small, but it has a direct impact on the lives of kids who when not in school are forced into the mineral mines.   

To help Anaclet's family in Austin, you can find more information on this Facebook Page:   https://www.facebook.com/AnacletWisoba

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Enroll In Speakers College Every Four Years

About the time I decided to pursue speaking as a career I discovered... (or was it invented?)... "Speakers College" (which is different from "Speakers University" which I created later).

Speakers College happens every four years in the late summer.  I first recognized this valuable institution in 1996 and have attended religiously each time it comes around.  Anyone who wants to improve their public speaking skills can enroll as a student.

What is Speakers College?   It is the combination of the Republican and Democratic National Conventions.  Each run for three or four days, along with some key addresses in they days immediately before and after the events.

The broadcast networks cover the main prime-time speeches by they party leaders and other celebrities, while other less famous presenters can be found on cable TV or online.

In order to benefit from the advantages of Speakers College one must leave their political feelings outside.  If you get irritated or mad at the policy positions taken by the speakers you will miss the chance to review the elements of style and delivery.  Students at Speakers College are there to learn, not scream at the TV because of opposing opinions.

Not all of our national leaders are actually that good at giving speeches.  One would think that to reach the highest levels of government that you would gain some oratory capabilities... but the reality is the great ones are few and far between.

In my life time there have been only a few who could really give a fantastic speech (these come from all both of the isle).  But we do not only learn from the good examples.  The times when speakers fall flat, or come off wooden are also learning opportunities.

Politicians do not usually write their own speeches.  They have paid speech writers who craft the words.  Listen closely as you will find some wonderful examples of imagery.  While the credit goes to the candidate, the best lines are often wordsmithed by their staff.

Watch their poise, vocal variety, level of comfort, body language, eye contact, hand gestures, tone, and comfort level as a speaker.  How they behave may or many not directly relate to how you will speak.... but you can learn if you watch.

There are no formal classes at Speakers College.  No dormitories or meal plans.  No quizzes or final exams. There is no football team (But it is like one big fraternity party if you watch closely).  Yet if you enroll you can learn a lot from the teachers from both parties.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

BE SOCIAL - Talk To People

We are obsessed with "social"... but people are being less social in their in-person actions.  You can hardly attend an association or business conference that does not have a track of breakout sessions focused on "Social"... but then you go into the hallways and the attendees are ignoring those around them.

Everyone is buried on their phones trying to keep up on what is going on someplace far away.  They stand around and avoid eye contact with those around them.  We are hungry to connect, but we are not taking actions to engage with other people.

This SXSW Film Festival promo clip makes me laugh (see below or at this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml0Vn56lBwo).  

The couple meet in line while waiting for film.  The are not on their phones, they actually talk.  They hit it off.  Their lives flash forward to marriage, kids, etc...  But the guy is in the wrong line.  

Even if you are in the wrong place, strike up a conversation.  You never know what it could lead to.  All opportunities come from people.  

If you are at a conference and you are spending your breaks with co-workers or surfing the web on your phone... you have flushed opportunity down the toilet.  If you are waiting in line, turn to someone and say "hello".

I have heard that at the 2013 SXSW Film Festival they are going to sponsor "Line Meet Ups"... a semi-organized effort to get people waiting for a film to network and have fun with each other.  Going beyond a line of hundreds who are reading Facebook and Twitter posts, a "Line Meet Up" could be a spontaneous party on a side walk.  Think about the possibilities. 

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

The Best Speakers Tell Stories

I have said it before... and I will say it again:

"Just because someone is smart or has done something cool -- it does not mean they belong on stage"

The argument over content vs style in conference speakers is silly.... as it is not too much to expect BOTH from those who present.

Yes, information and learning are key factors to a good presentation, but alone they are not much worth remembering.  While in advance of the event people claim that content is king, when they are sitting in a long presentation they desire some speaking style embedded inside the person talking.

Often we sit through presentations that are simply data dumps.  I recently experienced this and I watched as the speaker proved his credibility and sited study after study.  There was nothing in his presentation that was about the audience.  It was just statistics and quotes coupled with charts and graphs.  While the speaker had a naturally pleasing personality that came through in his talk, he had not invested any effort into polishing his style to connect with the crowd.  He referred to his own book so many times that most in the audience wanted to scream "YES, we know you wrote the book".

I do not think anyone in the audience was challenged to think or ponder.  It was just information.  There was no call to action, but worst of all there were no stories about how his theories work in the real world.  A whole presentation without an single anecdote.  He made it clear he was the smartest person in the room, and if that was his goal then he gets an "A+".

People learn through stories.  If we look back to ancient times the tribal leaders did not show pie charts and excel spreadsheets. They told stories.  We are wired to remember stories.  I once read about a study referenced in Discover Magazine (July 2010) that said that the brains of story tellers and those listening actually sync up.   Without stories a speaker is not necessarily on the same page with those listening.

If a speaker is a "Talking White Paper" then we miss out on the ability to have a meaningful experience.  Data without a story is orphaned from the stage.  The speaker is cutting it off from being effective.  If we only are there to receive data the speech is better served as a PDF that is emailed to the audience.

Most people understand my reference to the "Talking White Paper" because that is who takes the stage at countless events.  We do not love these talks, but we get caught up in the "smartness" and fail to complain.  Thus we get the same thing time after time.

"Talking White Papers" are often forgotten before the attendee's heads hit their pillows.  Those who can create an emotional link through the use of story are remembered into the future.  It is not just about the speaking style (YES, YES, YES - we want content).... but it certainly makes a difference in how we experience the conference attendee experience.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Cool Things My Friends Do -- Dave Lutz and Jeff Hurt Are Always Serving Those In The Events Industry

Each Friday on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their work and personal lives.  

Today's post is not so much about a single cool thing, but instead a "thank you" to a couple of guys who have been very cool (and helpful) to me and others.  In a world where too many are focused on self... it is wonderful to see people who are real givers.

I met Dave Lutz 18 months ago at a conference where I was the keynote speaker.  About the same time I got to know Jeff Hurt via Twitter and other social media communities.  Both of them have become friends and mentors.

They, along with the very cool Donna Kastner, make up the team at Velvet Chainsaw Consulting, Inc.

Velvet Chainsaw Consulting exclusively services companies and associations with their annual meetings, conferences, education and events. They also help technology, service and membership organizations establish and execute plans and processes that result in improved business results.  Their expertise includes – education program design, social media strategy, virtual or hybrid meeting strategy, competitive assessment and change initiatives. Basically, they help make your major meetings bigger and better.

I am highlighting them in my weekly "Cool Things My Friends Do" blog post because they are doing cool things for their clients (they have unique ideas about how to re-invent annual meetings and other events).... but beyond that they always go out of their way to help others find success.

They have helped me several times in formulating ideas for my business, and have introduced me to key people in the meetings business.  At first I was honored that they took a liking to me.... but then I realized it was NOT about me.  Nearly everyone in the meetings and events world tells similar stories about how Jeff and Dave are willing to to help, share ideas, and brainstorm paths to success.

By the way.....Their blog (mostly written by Jeff), Midcourse Corrections, is a must read for everyone who works in and around business and association events.  

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Hey Critics - Read This (By Teddy Roosevelt)

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."  -Theodore Roosevelt


"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Creating a Unique Keynote Experience

"We would like to work with you, but we want to try something new.  For our event we would like to change out the standard opening keynote.  Are you willing to shake things up with your material?"

YES, YES, YES!!!

I received this call from an association about speaking at an event.  I was thrilled.  I write a lot about the need for taking risks with events, thus I must be willing to go out on a limb myself.

My Conference Catalyst program is already a bit different from your average opening keynote, but this client wants me to push it even farther.  Think theater in the round and finger-painting meet Oprah.  To experiment with something at this level needs buy in from the speaker and the client.... and I am confident that this presentation will have a lasting impact on the audience and my business.

Their purpose is well thought out.  They are not looking to be different for the sake of being different.  They want to get people engaged, make them think, and take action.  They understand that humans have different learning styles and the traditional lecture is not always the best situation to make lasting impact.  The element of  surprise for this audience with a conference attendee experience that is unique will have real meaning.  This will not be the same-old / same-old talk expected from a speaker at an event.

There are five months to prepare this unique program, and I can test the elements that will make this a "WOW" event.  Working with clients who want to push the envelope is exciting.  Creating this unique keynote will set the tone for the whole event.  Can you tell I am pumped up??  ;-)

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Ice-Breaker Games and Free Shrimp Do NOT Create Community

When I wrote about "How an Icebreaker Can Kill Your Business Meeting" I discussed that many business professionals do not want to play silly games.  They are not really excited to get their card signed by every vendor, nor do they want to share their secret fear of "noodling".

The response was interesting, as it put some people on the defensive for icebreakers.  Getting people to step out of their comfort zone and talk to others is paramount to success at conferences, trade shows, conventions and seminars - but too often organizers insert icebreaker activity without any context to their purpose.  If an ice-breaker sits as a random stand-alone I argue that it is not usually effective.

(*Note: I did not say all "Icebreakers" are bad... just that many are silly and can turn-off then engagement with some people in attendance).

The same problem exists with networking happy hours.  People say they want to network... but free booze and peel-and-eat shrimp alone are not enough to get conference attendees to engage in conversations without the context of the purpose of bringing people together to have meaningful interactions.

I often have conversations with meeting professionals and association executives about how to create a networking culture at an event.  Too many attendees spend all their time at breaks on their phones and they always are clustered with their co-workers and their friends.  However, when people do break free and engage they always report that their "hallway conversations" were the most powerful moments of their attendee experience.

But without a plan for a networking culture, and until you have earned the "buy-in" from the participants, they will not change the standard conference behavior.  Telling people to "put their phones away" only gets resentment and most wont do it anyway.  Treating ice-breakers and social events as a stand alone Check-The-Box activity will get mixed results.  If we want more me must make it happen.

To create a culture you need to engage everyone involved in your event.  The speakers on your program should be educated about your desires to get people talking, and how they structure their interactive programs and their own engagement at your event will have a huge impact.  Ask your speakers if they intend to stay at your conference following their presentation.  You want them to be involved, as attendees like to mix with the speakers.  (Legitimate celebrities, such as Bill Clinton, cannot and will not stay for your event, but others should be asked to be involved for at least the whole day they speak).  Those who "speak and run" may or may not help your cause.

Design alternative learning areas where people can gather and have conversations.  Make these areas inviting, and then spend some time educating your audience about what it is all about and how it will make their conference experience better.  Too often an organization will create a "Learning Lounge" or other unique alternative conference program and then nobody shows up because they failed to promote it in a way that is understood.  Putting a blurb in the program is NOT enough.  Feature the explanation of your special program in your opening session, and not just a mention in the welcome.  Too often these areas are under attended because the organization does not want to really highlight them.  If people do not "get it" they wont come check it out.

(I attended a conference where the organizers said they did not have time in the schedule to promote their alternative learning program, then invested 30 minutes to promote the next year's conference.  Yikes.  Few people went to their unique area, and most people thought the commercial was excessive.  Disconnect!).

What is your catalyst?   Organizers talk about changing the culture at their events, but wanting to create something unique will not make it happen by magic.  There must be an outside element that gets people excited to take ownership of the new direction.  Stir the pot or the contents will get stuck to the bottom!

Think deeper and get lots of people to input ideas all year long.  Be willing to try something new if you really want change.  Champion those who have fresh ideas and make a rule that "just because we did it before does not mean it is always right".

What do you think?

****For a copy of my free eight page special report on creating an atmosphere for better networking at conferences email me at thom (at) thomsinger.com.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections. http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

What Others Think

After a presentation I had a person come to me and share that she enjoyed my talk.  She had preconceived me and my message one way, but after being in the audience for my most recent speech, she now had a new opinion.

It got me thinking about how quickly people judge others.  Sometimes we do it with limited information, other times with no information.  But this happens all the time.  How many folks are out there that carry skewed opinions of  our abilities and purpose.

Regardless of if you have thought about it or not, you have a reputation in your community. This can be hard for some folks to accept, as it is often beyond their control.  It can also be wrong.  Things like your job title, degree (or lack of degree), friends, age, etc... give people a superficial impression and they fill in the blanks with their own imagination.

Over time, your actions speak louder than your words.  Even if people are jumping to the wrong conclusions, your consistency will show the truth more than anything else you can do to "re-brand yourself".  But this means you must be visible.  Out of sight is out of mind, and people carry over their past ideas about who you are (regardless of accuracy).

When they are not in contact with you they file away their impressions and they do not modify these views as you grow and expand.  

People do change.  We learn from experiences.  We modify, grow and expand our abilities.  But perceptions of us are often set in stone.  If you have made mistakes or have done things wrong... yes, an active renovation is a good idea.  However, if your reputation concerns are based on others jumping to conclusions.... then I am not sure anything can be done.  You cannot go door to door and get into the heads of everyone you have ever encountered.

I have learned not to take it personally.  Only I can know my thoughts, feelings and intentions.... so when others make biting assumptions in these areas I realize it is about them, not me.  I can only try to make the right choices in my words and actions (oh, and yes,.... I can screw that up, too!).  My hope is that over time I can build understanding through my actions.

I am working to look deeper when I meet someone new (and give a fresh chance to those I already know).  Since I am not clairvoyant I push out any thoughts around my impressions of another's thoughts or feelings.

We cannot change others... but we can lead by example.  Three actions you can take:

1.  Do not make grand assumptions based on limited exposure.  

2.  Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  

3.  Ask question about the whole person.  

The more we understanding the realities behind our impressions of others, the faster we can accept the mis-understandings that we find others to have when looking our way.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do - Pam Sherman, The Suburban Outlaw, Speaks at TEDx FlourCity

Each Friday on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their work and personal lives.   

I started this weekly post, "Cool Things My Friends Do", in March 2012 when I saw the video of a friend's TEDx Talk (Ed Cavazos).  It got me thinking about how we need to publicly celebrate the cool actions of those we care about.  Too often blogs get self-centered, and I wanted to do more than just show my own stuff.  I found that it is always easy to run across a person in my life who is up to amazing things.

This week I am highlighting another TEDx Talk.  My friend Pam Sherman gave a presentation at TEDxFlourCity (Rochester, NY). Pam is known as The Suburban Outlaw, and is an author, speaker, consultant and magazine columnist.  

Pam's TEDx talk chronicles her journey through the Arab Spring.

Congratulations to Pam.  TEDx is a wonderful program that highlights interesting and thought provoking speakers in a variety of ways.  It is great  to see some of my friends sharing their stories with the world!

Have A Great Day

thom singer

8 Things To Do After The Conference

Attending a multi-day association conference (or other event) can be inspirational and chalked-full of education.  There is a lot of industry information.  Some of the best networking around.  Tons of good food.  Beneficial investment of time and fun, fun, fun!!!

It can also be exhausting.  The long days followed by the happy-hours and other parties can leave anyone feeling the pain once they get home.

Plus, after being out of the office all week can leave you with a full email inbox and a to-do list a mile long.

Yet, to maximize the ROI from attending the event, there are a few things you should do as soon as you get home.  Yes, I know  - your family and co-workers have immediate expectations of your attention.  However, if you put off your post-event wrap up, you may never gain all the benefits that were possible from attending the event in the first place.

Post Event Wrap Up - 8 Things To Do After The Conference

1.  Un-pack your suitcase.  Leaving your clothes, toilteries and other convention materials sitting on the floor for several days will only add stress ("Ahhh, I still have to unpack").  Unpacking gives you a chance to process some of your thoughts about the experience and create some closure.

2.  Sort through your business cards (or electronic contact information).  Some of the people you met at the event could become amazing long-term contacts, but not all those you encountered are equal.  Assess the purpose of keeping in touch with each person and review the level of conversation you had while at the event.  Some people may not require a follow-up, while others could become part of an amazing friendship.  If you do not sort through the pile of contacts you most likely not reach out to anyone at all.  This would be opportunity lost.

3.  Follow up with three people.  Yes, I know, you met so dozens of interesting people.. but start with three.  Who had the biggest impact on your conference experience?  Write a note, send an email, or call them and tell them you enjoyed your conversation (s).  I do not care how busy you are, or your level of self-importance.... you CAN follow up with three people.  (NOTE: a handwritten note still stands out from the crowd in our social media crazy world).

4.  Follow up with more people.  Three is a good start, but go a bit further.  If you skip this step, at least you contacted a three of your key contacts.  Ten would be best, but I don't want to freak you out.  ;-)

5.  Review your notes.  Meetings industry guru Jeff Hurt reminds us that our minds are not recording devices.  Sitting in a lecture and listening is not the best way to establish a memory of the information.  Without review you will forget most of what you heard.

6.  Share what your learned.  Transcribe your notes (this will help you retain the information, too), and share them with your co-workers or other peers who were not at the meeting.   When you share your notes it will reminds those in your office that you were at the conference for business purposes, not just to hang out in a nice hotel and go to parties.  Plus some small tid-bit you wrote down may be the big inspiration someone else needed to read.

7.  Reach out to the organizers and sponsors.  Putting on a conference is hard work, but few attendees really think about the amount of effort that goes into the execution of a multi-day event.  Take the time to contact the organization that hosted the gathering and those that sponsored the key portions of the agenda, and thank them creating a positive experience.

8.  Plan for next year.  If the event was worth our investment of time and money, be sure to get next year's dates into your calendar.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections. http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

Speak More! by the National Speakers Association

I am honored that I was selected as one of the contributing authors for the National Speakers Association new flagship book Speak More! Marketing Strategies to Get More Speaking Business, which details the strategies, tactics and wisdom necessary for professional speaking success. The book is available to 3,000 members across the country on the NSA website, as well as through Amazon and other online bookstores.

"Speakers must adapt to the ever-changing marketplace," said Stacy Tetschner, Chief Executive Officer of the National Speakers Association (NSA). "Luckily, Speak More! gives speakers a detailed blueprint to boost business with a multi-faceted approach to the industry."

In Speak More!, 33 accomplished professional speakers share cutting-edge—but commonsense—approaches to help readers tap into multiple income streams. So what's stopping entrepreneurs from applying these principles to their business? Nothing. Whether you want to build a prominent online brand or create a publishing presence, Speak More! gives you actionable, effective tools to thrive. Sample chapters include "How Author and Book Platforms Lead to Rock-Star Branding"; "You're Hired! Using Sales and Marketing to Book More Speaking Gigs"; and "Go Global with Your Message."

"Speak More! embodies the very essence of what NSA is all about: incredibly accomplished and successful people telling you how they’ve succeeded, spilling the beans on their ‘secrets,’ giving away the very ideas and strategies that they use to create a competitive edge," said author Joe Calloway, CSP, CPAE. "If this book doesn’t help your career, then you didn’t read it."

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Cool Things My Friends Do -- Vegan 1 Day Project 2012

Each Friday on this blog I enjoy highlighting some of the cool things my friends do in their work and personal lives.  

John Merryfield lives in Lake Tahoe, Ca. and Los Barriles, Baja, Mexico with his wife Carol and works as a painting contractor.  He is the founder of Vegan 1 Day - An international challenge for everyone to adopt a vegan diet for at least one day of the the year (August 31). He is an avid surfer, kite surfer, stand up paddler, paraglider pilot and a published haiku poet.  (Author's note... I also have known John since our days in Ms. O'Brien's kindergarten class.  No, he was not vegan nor did he write haiku at that point in time!)

August 31, 2012 is the "Vegan 1 Day Project".  This is an international movement to promote the benefits of a plant based diet.

Our food choices play a significant role, helping to solve some of our societies most urgent problems, like marine ecosystem collapse, climate change, poor human health and global violence. 

Eating animal foods is the elephant in our living room that we all pretend not to see when discussing how we can change the world for the better. 

On August 31st, 2012, a group of extreme SUP paddlers will circumnavigate 72 miles of Lake Tahoe in one day—paddling all day and all night—to promote the Vegan 1 Day Project. They hope to garner international attention from this challenge to encourage everyone to adopt a vegan diet for at least one day out of the year. 

Will you join us by pledging to eat vegan for just one day, 31 August 2012?  Can you help spread the word in your community?

I am already planning to eat at Casa de Luz, Beets Cafe, and The Vegan Yacht (My three favorite vegan restaurants in Austin, Texas) on August 31st.  Who is going to join me?

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Introverts Are Better At Networking

Introverts are better networkers when they engage with purpose at conferences.  For those who attend industry events or association meetings..... remember... introverts rule at networking... but they allow the extroverts to think they are better at the social side of events.

I am an extrovert, but I know that if the introverts took back control of the art of building long-term and mutually beneficial relationships.... they would own it in the blink of an eye.

Long ago someone decided that networking was a game for extroverts.  They saw the fun that the outgoing folks have at conferences, trade shows, conferences and seminars and decided that it was not a place for introverts to shine.  Thus many introverts shy away from the best parts of attending industry gatherings.

The reason introverts are better at this is because networking is NOT about talking about yourself.  To really network you must listen to others... and really hear what they are saying.  Then you must take the necessary actions needed to be of assistance to them.  To establish real connections you must give first of yourself.

Extroverts are not bad people (although I find some introverts do think this about their more talkative peers).  However, talking is not a way to learn about others.  To really help someone, you must know what they need.  If you are talking... you can't get there.

Some outgoing folks struggle with letting go of talking.  I know I have a problem not letting my natural side run wild.  But when I can really hear the other person and let their message sink in without worrying about when it is my turn to talk.... I become a valuable resource.

Introverts not only hear what you say, they will remember what you said later when they are in a place to help you.  Introverts are often the ones with the best "Follow Through DNA"

So if you are an extrovert... and want more success with your networking efforts you need to learn from the introverts.  Observe.  Ask questions.  Listen.  Repeat.

Extroverts discover that it can be hard work to network like an introvert.  It is easier just to talk.  Ahhh, but the true introverts understand that successful networking is hard work (The center of the word "networking" contains the word "work").... but just because it is difficult does not mean it is not valuable.  If you are an extrovert and find it hard to hold back... imagine the reverse... and this is what the introverts deal with all the time.

Go out and channel your best introvert and you will have more success at making connections your next conference, trade show, convention, seminar, etc....

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Changing The Conference Experience - It Is Not A Zero-Sum Game

Many associations, companies and other groups are talking about ways to re-invent their conferences.  Professional planners are seeking ideas.  Industry organizations are leading the way by introducing new formats into their programs.  Attendees claim to desire unique experiences, and not just the same cookie-cutter events.  There is a buzz in the air for change.

Those of us in the meetings industry are reading countless expert articles on re-invention, but when push comes to shove, many conferences and their audiences are striving to remain the same.

An association planner I talked with said that they loved my "Conference Catalyst" program.  In the early negotiations they said it was "different", and that made it ideal for their goals for this year's event.  They were looking for a fun way to engage their audience in a non-traditional manner, and having speakers from outside their industry was exactly what they were seeking.

In the end they went with a speaker (one who is well known in their space and will do a great job at their event!) who is a more traditional choice for their conference.  When I asked them what influenced the decision they said their board of directors wants to try new things, but believed they should wait another year or two before introducing anything out of the ordinary.  They wanted to be "safe" this year, as the recession was still impacting their numbers.

At another conference I was hosting the "Learning Lounge" (an area with several alternative learning environments).  When an attendee came in the room she was confused by the causal setting and the variety of small expert-led conversation clusters to choose from.  She asked for more information about the format of the "Learning Lounge" and then announced she was more comfortable with a breakout where the speakers lectured rather than held an intimate discussion. She walked out.

So are we really ready for new programs and alternative options?  

Yes... I think we are ready.  And I think, NO... we are not ready.  

This is not an all or nothing change.  Some people are not comfortable with too much change, so they will move slowly (or not at all).  This is okay for now.  Others will go too far too fast and have negative reactions to their new formats.  This is okay too... as we have to try new things or nothing ever happens.

Some "mavericks" will succeed, others will fail.  Some who take no risks will succeed, others will fail if they remain the same.  The trick is that everyone should be learning.  All of us who work in the world of meetings need to observe and discover ways to share best practices.

The key is to find the balance.  Introduce new options into your conference, but be prepared that many people will not select the fresh choices.  Don't wait for next year to try things... but do not toss out the old ways all at once.

My two cents:   For my prospective client... they could have had both their traditional keynote and a non-traditional speaker from outside their industry (like me?) to do a "pre-keynote"... thus giving their audience both the old and the new.  For the woman who was more comfortable with a regular breakout session, maybe she could have come to the "Learning Lounge" for one hour over the three days to try out the alternative option.

Yes changes are coming, but it is not an zero-sum game.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

10 Things to Remember About Networking

What resonates in your mind about networking?  These are the easy, but often over-looked, ideas and actions that can have an immediate impact on a person's personal and professional life.

The Things To Remember About Networking

1.  Networking is not a verb.  You don't "go network".  It is a lifestyle.

2.  Do not confuse networking with personal friendship.  While some people certainly do become your friends, you will be disappointed if you expect to reach a quick level of intimacy with the people you meet in professionals setting.

3.  Regardless of if you are an introvert or extrovert you can network and stay true to your own comfort zones.

4.  If you want conversations to go deeper than surface "chit-chat" you must have a purpose in how you ask questions (and listen).

5.  Online networking is not about the numbers.  You will get better results when you have a mutually beneficial relationship.

6.  Make the time, because it is an investment in your future.

7.  Treat everyone with interest and respect as you never know whom might become that connection that have meaningful impact in the future.

8.  The best networkers find success in being a giver and connecting others without being worried about "what's in it for me".

9.  Social media is not a fad.  The time for making excuses about why social media is not for you is past.

10.  Having your phone out while in a live conversation is rude.  Nobody really has to check their email or texts constantly.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

"The Conference Catalyst" Means Your Meeting ROCKS

Few keynote speakers  deliver the combination of useful information and instant actions.  From the moment Thom Singer takes the stage he gets the audience's attention.

While many speakers tell people to "put you phones away"... Thom believes if the speaker is not captivating, people should surf the web or check their email.  Too often speakers deliver book reports on their own brilliance.  But just because someone is smart or has done something cool - it does not mean they belong on stage.

A main reason people attend conferences is for the networking opportunities, but once they are present they often fail to make the meaningful connections they desire.  What is the tone for your event was all about participants getting the most from their conference attendee experiences?

For more information visit www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Be Respectful

Telling another person "I respectfully disagree" does not mean you are actually being respectful.  Your actions, not words, expose your soul.

Priorities

"All the things we do on a daily basis seem really important.... until your kid's hamster escapes and you cannot find it. Suddenly you have a whole new list of priorities".   -Thom Singer