Sunday, June 26, 2016

Getting To Know You (and Me)

We all live behind masks we put on for the outside world.  In our social media crazy world we are all projecting images, and people are making decisions about us as humans in seconds.

But people are very complex and cannot be "known" from reading their Tweets or Facebook posts.  Even reading a blog that has existed for more than 12 years will only allow you to see the parts I choose to expose.  Getting to know the heart and soul of another person is almost impossible.  Most exchanges of words between people are heavily superficial, and in the end this creates a culture where many feel misunderstood and alone.

Even in close relationships people do not know each other.  We think we do, but often we are making assumptions and generalizations.  We project who we want them to be.  Many people go through their whole lives without realizing we are missing the most interesting stories that are happening in the lives of others because we do not seek to know what makes them tick.

In business people will not often be comfortable sharing their back-story, but in life we should ask more questions of the people we invest our time with to find out more about their hopes, dreams, desires, and motivations. Most of us are not that empathetic and we miss the cues that others leave us about their soul.

I have recently begun to try to feel more about everything I do.  This involves how I talk with the people I meet.  I want to now just go through the motions when I have a conversation, but I want to be engaged and engaging in my exchanges with other humans.

To be willing to get to know others means I have to be willing to share my own "stuff" as well.  This is hard because I do not know how people will react to being more personal and not just skimming the surface in formal conversations.  But I am finding people are open to sharing if you give them the chance.

The end result of this is that I am discovering myself along the way.  Turns out the masks we wear also hide things form ourselves.  It is so easy to put parts of your mind, personality and soul into a box and close the lid. And as time goes by you forget those parts of self that you set aside.

Being a human is more complex than they tell you as you are growing up.  It often takes a lifetime to get comfortable in your own skin, and not that I am over 50 I am finding I care much less about the parts I worry might be flaws.  It is all just who I am, and that comes with lots of moving parts.

Anyone understand what I am saying here?

Have A Great Day

thom singer


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