Sunday, April 24, 2016

People Are Difficult (This should not be a surprise to anyone)

Interacting with people is not always easy.  When you are around other humans, it is hard sometimes as we all have our own opinions, experiences, desired outcomes, and emotions.  Everyone has ideas of how they want things to turn out and some people become difficult if your outlook differs from their own.

Being wrong is part of the human experience, and I have come to understand that when socially engaged I do not have to be the smartest in the room, nor do I have to connect my self-worth to my bring right.  This is a lesson that was hard learned.  But my own path has become simple since I know I might be wrong (and that it is okay).

I spent a long time being sad and was full of self doubt in my career.  My own internal dialogue caused me to worry about what others thought of me.  To mask these feelings from the outside I over compensated.  Overall this did not serve me well, but the more I have realized this is normal for many people, the less I needed to behave in this manner.  Everyone is dealing with their own "stuff", and that makes my own issues seem manageable. 

It is common to see someone caught up with issues of self and then they project their feelings onto the social tapestry.  They work to recruit people to their "side" escalate minor things into major ones. You cannot stop this from happening, and everyone knows someone who has done this.  

You have to choose.... accept them (with their flaws) or move on.  Either is a fine choice and there is no way for anyone but you to know what is best for your exact situations. 

You cannot change another person and this is what messes up so many relationships.  We think we can "fix" them and in the end we just increase the tension.  Realizing you cannot change others takes away the power they want to have.  I just shrug and say "oh well" and try to love my friends and family unconditionally.

An outlook that "every interaction is a NOT a competition" is the best medicine.  It has made me happier and allowed me to let go when a friend seems to be undermining something that matters to me.  Reminded yourself that the actions of those around you are most likely more about their own "stuff", and not yours.  

Have a great day

thom singer

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