Sunday, November 04, 2012

Careful About Jumping To Conclusions

When you are on your journey through life, sometime things will go astray.  Occasionally you will make a mistake, other times there will be things that happen out of your control.  And then there are the situations where you are working hard to do the right thing and another person interprets your actions in a way different from you intentions.  Bummer. But people do jump to conclusions without facts.

The older I get the more I understand how quickly we form strong opinions from our own vantage points.  I do it.  So do most other people.  Yet the more I witness the jumping to conclusions the more I am perplexed by our human race.  We are an interesting species and I wonder how we have survived for thousands of years!

If you screw up (we all do from time to time), and it is your fault, learning from the experience and striving not to make the same mistakes each time is paramount to your future success.  The cliche expression "to error is human..." is based in the fact that everyone makes mistakes... but we quickly seem to forget that when it is another who biffs.

When a problem is instigated beyond your actions there is still wisdom that comes from reviewing how you handle the aftermath.  There is always a back story to gain from and what happens in the end is where we can find the area for personal growth.

But if it is all a misunderstanding it can be especially painful.  When you work hard to do the right thing and another is convinced you were out of line.... it can leave you wreathing.  I have been on both sides of this.  I have held strong opinions of a situation only to later learn I was wrong, and I have had others falsely assume ideas about my motivation while being totally off base.  When this happens both people usually lose in some way.

The lesson I have taken to heart learned is that when angry (or filled with other emotions) people become clairvoyant.  I now attempt not to fill in the blanks in my mind without facts.  Yet I have to accept that others will make things up from time to time and to radically work to change their mind will often fall on deaf ears.  It hurts when conclusions are assumed and are wrong (or partially wrong).

When something goes astray (you screw up, it is an act of God, or a misunderstanding), the best thing to do is move on to what is next.  Apologizing goes a long way when appropriate, although an acceptance of that apology depends on the other person's character.

Those with experience know that moving forward and not wallowing in your own self pity is the best way to get back on track.  This is just a reminder... as I am sure that my readers never jump to conclusions!

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

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