Your Co-worker Is A Jerk

Last week I had writers block and I asked the people who follow me on Twitter to help with some questions about networking, marketing, sales, career development, etc....

Wow, I got a bunch of responses, so now I have plenty of topics.

The first question is below. As I write these posts over the next week I am not going to site the persons who asked the questions, as some many not want their identity exposed (a few came by direct message with a request not to use their name):

"How do you respond when networking and people talk about how your colleague / superior is such a jerk? Umm?"

The person asking the question does not clarify if their co-worker really is a jerk or not, but the response is the same: never join in on the bad-mouthing. Defend the person or change the subject, but do not become part of such chit-chat.

I am surprised how often people will voluntarily say negative things about other people in public. Sometimes they know first hand the information they spread (that the other person is a jerk or did this or that). Sometimes they are just gossiping. Either way, a networking event is not the time or the place to explore character flaws.

If you work with someone who has a negative reputation you have probably encountered this type of chatter. If you do not like the person either it is tempting to jump into the weeds and join in the verbal bashing. Bad idea. Never say anything about another person that you do not want reported back to them. Someone might over hear you who will repeat what you said.

I one time received a call from someone I barely knew reporting about a conversation they had where another person said some bad things about ME. While I was hurt and sad to hear what a person (whom I thought was a friend) had said, I was more baffled that the person on the other end of the phone was pointing this out to me. But it was a great lesson that what you say always finds its way home.

When the person is someone you respect you will want to defend them. The best way to do this is with humor and a smile. Attacking the person who spoke the negative words or making a huge deal will cause a scene, and a corporate event is not the place.

The most important thing to remember is that anyone who will say bad things about your co-worker in public will not hesitate the do the same about other people (including you) at future events. Their behavior could be a good signal that they are not worthy of your investment to grow your relationship.

Our moms always said, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything". This is great advice when attending networking events!!!

Have A Great Day.

thom