Jason Alba has a post you should read on The JibberJobber Blog. It is about not letting other people dictate your moods. He tells a story about his not saying "Thank You" to a guy who held the door open for him outside a Barnes & Noble. While an expression of gratitude would have been nice, the volunteer doorman angry and shouted "You Are Welcome, A-HOLE!" and stormed off.
This guy let Jason impact his mood in a negative manner. And then Jason let this guy ruin his day.
How often are we thrown off course by someone else. We cannot choose how others will behave, but we can choose our reaction. Holding a door is polite, but you cannot expect others to reward you for doing it. And spiraling into anger will just mean you will be angry often.
It is like when I drive in Texas and let a car merge in heavy traffic... you usually get the polite "hand wave". Try that in New York or California, and you will not get any acknowledgement. This does not mean I wont let the car into my lane. I do it because it is polite. (Actually in California and New York you might get a "hand wave".... but it is usually just one finger!).
I have a friend who is a huge college football fan and he loves his Texas A&M Aggies. Years ago if the team lost (and they lost a lot!) it could put him in a horrible mood that would last for days. I once saw him through a full drink on the floor of his living room when the team had a game losing fumble. But nowadays he enjoys watching his Aggies without getting emotionally distraught. I asked him about the change and he said that one day he realized it was silly to let a bunch of twenty-year-olds impact his entire state of mind because of a ballgame.
He made a conscious choice on how he would react to the actions of others. Win or lose he is not a wreck because of college football.
We all should remember this in our day to day lives. Things happen, but our reaction is our own choice.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
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ReplyDeleteEasier said than done though :-S
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